For the most part I'm engaged, motivated and often feel inspired by others around me. I'm learning new forms, I've encountered challenges along the way and worked through those challenges. And yet at the same time my Kung Fu has become somewhat routine. It doesn't feel effortless, but it does feel like I've been 'playing it safe'. If I'm truthful with myself I have started to feel this over the past few weeks and ignored it because I was enjoying this new more enjoyable pace. I became comfortable. Mediocrity slowly and methodically inserted itself into my life. I allowed myself to focus on what I was doing, without looking too closely at that which was not being addressed or worked on.
I'm not someone that loves to blog and it can be a challenge for me to collect my many thoughts, peel through the layers and weave everything together. I have experienced the value this tool holds so I push myself to blog weekly, adding in an extra one occasionally when something pops into my head. For me blogging along with the pushups helps to anchor me. Without blogging regularly I know I wouldn't be where I am today.
This got me to thinking about the areas I not pushing myself, and I started to ask myself where am I playing it safe? Why am I able to push myself to blog and yet choose to not apply myself to other challenging or difficult requirements and opportunities?
The biggest contributing factor to me 'playing it safe' right now is not knowing how to start teaching when I'm helping out in the kids classes. I generally do ok with a small group of students or even better with just one. And as I write this I can feel my anxiety begin to increase just thinking about teaching. I could just rip the bandaid off, but I'm not sure that is the best approach for me at this time. It looks like I have some questions to ask.
Sparring is another area I need to spend more time focusing on. I had gained some ground last year when we spent time sparring in class and was beginning to feel less nervous. Then it tapered off and there were other things to concentrate on. With the Tiger challenge coming up and again sparring more in classes, I've been able to get in more practice. Surprisingly the sparring we did a couple of weeks ago in black belt class went much better than I expected and provided some great lessons and opportunities.
Totals
Push ups & Sit ups: 1075/10345
Hand form: 18/184
Weapon form: 20/165
KM: 35/304
AOK: 34/349
Sparring: 12/71
Blogs: 1/13
Yoga: 30/6.5 hrs
Tai Chi: 24/182
MM:25/245
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