Sharing of Thought & Ideas

The Goju-ryu stance has been on my mind since we first explored it in Black Belt class over a month ago. At that time, we briefly discussed the rotational energy cork screwing into the ground, as being outward. There was a conversation that followed as a couple of us, including myself who experience the energy as inward.

I've had a couple conversations since and there has been a bit of playing around with the stance to focus on stability and also to see if I can create outward energy. The closest I was able to get to outward rotational energy was if I tuck in my pelvis, straightening out my lower spine, but I found my knees wanted to pull apart and it just didn’t feel great. 

Thursday night’s class this week was very helpful as we talked in depth about the Goju-ryu stance and its rotational energy. Talking about the hip width of different body types and then standing up and experimenting with a narrow stance or wider stance helped me a lot. When I stood in a wider stance, I could start to feel the outward rotation of energy. And then as we went back-and-forth from a wider stance to a narrow stance, and experimented with different blocks in both outward and inward rotations, my understanding of this particular stance began to evolve. I started to feel and understand how the rotational energy could be manipulated as needed, depending on what my intention is in that moment. 

As I continued to play with the Goju-ryu stance I was able to more easily change my rotational energy from inward to outward without having to widen my stance. This came about by straightening out my lower spine with a pelvic tilt. As soon as I do that, I feel the energy rotation change naturally. I also feel a slight adjustment needed with how my feet connect to the ground due to the change in skeletal alignment. So definitely not a change happening in a split second, but something to work towards for sure. 

My go to at this point in time is still an inward rotation, and despite my skeletal frame I know I can develop flexibility within my natural Goju-ryu stance without having to change the width of my stance. I now see it as a much more flexible stance than I gave a credit for. 

Logan isn't able to attend because of a schedule conflict so we always talk after the Thursday class at some point to go over what was discussed and catch him up. It was during this discussion that he told me he first realized he could change his rotational energy in the Goju-ryu stance from outward to inward during Black Belt class where we first worked on and discussed the direction of the energy. He found he was able to easily change his rotational energy (without changing the width of his stance) depending on his intention at the time. Something else that was brought up during our discussion is... could a person have an outward rotational energy on one side and an inward rotational energy on the other side while corkscrewing into the ground? Something to Ponder? I know I've certainly learned there is much more to this stance than I first thought and it's interesting to think there could be more possibilities than I'm currently aware of.

Discussion, the sharing of thoughts and ideas, and asking well thought out questions all help to broaden our understanding and awareness. Every one of us has something to contribute and when we work together with an open heart sharing our experiences, thoughts or ideas we begin to build healthy and beneficial collaboration that ultimately helps us to grow collectively. Our training and our journey may be individual to each of us, but I believe there is still a bit of responsibility on each of our parts to share and explore together instead of operating in a bubble.

Numbers Update

Oops, apparently I haven't posted any numbers since the end of May, so here are my numbers updated to the end of September.


Pushups - 9530 modified + 1310 full for a total of 10840
*Now up to 12 full pushups per set and working to carefully increase full pushups.

Situps - 10745

Km's - 603
*Tracking intentional Km's

AOK's - 724

Weapon - 445 reps + 530 min on individual techniques and learning form

Hand Form - 448 reps + 555 min on individual techniques and learning form

Blogs - 33

Sparring - 35

Expanding my Training

Collaboration and working together is what comes to mind when I think about this past week. I feel a deep sense of appreciation and gratitude for my instructors, the tools I have at my disposal and my fellow students and teammates, all collaborating and working together to share and assist each other. This is where growth and community builds and strengthens. 

Being on the team this year has presented some challenges as it usually tends to do. And it isn't necessarily the best fit for me personally, but I wouldn't have it any other way as it has filled a much needed hole in my life and continues to help guide me. I think the biggest benefit for me this year is my training has expanded and happens in less of a bubble. I am feeling more connected. 

I’m also learning to appreciate and effectively utilize those moments where progression seems to stagnate. The pace at which I'm learning and discovering this year has felt to be moving overly fast at times. Having pushed through a period of struggle has helped me to experience the plateau and stagnating trajectory in a positive light. There is still reward to be found because reaching a plateau is an opportunity to integrate and feel more in the movements I already know. I’ve come to understand the plateau is actually an integral part of the journey.

 

A Glimmer

During my one-on-one with Sifu Brinker this week there was a brief moment in our conversation where my mind wandered off and I felt a glimmer, that was both inspiring and exciting. It was a tiny yet powerful message that poked through the cobwebs of my brain mid conversation before coming back to the moment.

Yes, there’s definitely some ego attached to that message. I believe though there are times where ego can be positive and play an important role, especially when healthy motivation is a result. Knowing that ego is a factor also provides opportunity for me to become more aware and continue to work on and manage my ego. And this is also where humility can grow as well.

I feel a renewed sense of engagement, motivation and excitement that has been missing these past few months from my training. Moving forward doesn't happen without time, effort and at least some intention. So I'm very aware this tiny yet powerful message and feeling I received came about because I continue to practice mindfulness, I've put in consistent effort regardless of how I'm feeling during these months of struggle and I seek out information and answers. 

Wheels Falling Off

It’s Sunday morning and my mind is blank and I have no idea what to write. This is not new as the past few weeks have been a struggle when it comes to blogging. It feels like much more effort is required lately when it comes to sorting out my thoughts and putting everything into words that make sense. But it’s also been worth the effort. 

So here I am again feeling the pressure to gather my thoughts, and experiences. I do it though because    blogging matters as it gives meaning and value to my week. Without it the week is gone and forgotten. The act of gathering my thoughts and reflecting helps me to be more present and a more active participant in life. I gain clarity and insight that helps to guide me forward making everything worthwhile even when I'm struggling.

And so I began the process of going back through the week, thinking about the one on ones, black belt class, tai chi class, and all the training I’ve done throughout the week. Before I got through the whole week, there was a thought that popped into my head and I know it is one that has been repeating lately. 

The thought is - 'wheels are falling off.  This is something that we all experience from time to time as we train. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last, but I've been feeling this a lot lately. I would hope much of this is a temporary situation and is due to the fact that I’m learning and expanding my knowledge and skill. 

Tai Chi is where I notice it the most. Technique isn't feeling as good and flow is suffering. I think part of this is due to digging deeper and developing more intent as I practice and move through the form. So a few wheels falling off could be a good thing. 

I know some of those backward steps are needed in order to move forward. My concern is that some of it is due to ongoing knee issues. When wheels begin to wobble or fall off it can be an opportunity to assess what it going on, ask questions and regroup. And maybe it is a simple reminder to not take anything for granted. And so I will need to sort out why and see if I can get some clarity as to what exactly is happening. The road currently feels a bit bumpy right now. 

I Choose Kung Fu

At times there is a voice inside my head dangling what-ifs and the promise of greener grass if I was to venture down a different path. Maybe yoga or pilates would serve me better? The seemingly easier road and greener grass still has the potential for mastery, but I feel it would also create more space for mediocrity and complacency to eventually creep in. Those alternate paths may check some boxes and provide benefits, but over time there’d be some gaps felt.

And when I think about my journey with Silent River Kung Fu and what propels me to continue on the path I'm currently on, there are number factors that I take into account and remind myself of:

Community - I am surrounded by like minded individuals, feeling supported and at times challenged. I have opportunities to lead, to expand my bubble through teaching and to learn humility. It is also an environment that lends itself to creativity and the sharing of ideas. 

Black belt class - is a micro community within a larger whole. This is where vast knowledge, skill and expertise can be shared and explored more in depth as we begin to expand outward from the foundation built during the years as a Q-belt. It is guided and self directed at the same time, opening up a world of possibility.

Tai chi - on its own could be a completely separate journey fulfilling almost everything Kung Fu does for me. Our eye for detail, mindfulness and awareness that is developed can also be applied to life off the mats. Both Tai Chi and Kung Fu complement each other providing valuable insights.

Blogging - Self discovery through blogging has helped to guide me and expand my awareness and ability to be more open. And it is that awareness and openness that makes those discoveries in my physical training possible. Blogging can give direction and clarity, giving meaning to what may feel like an other wise ho hum week. It often requires a lot of effort, but I also find it meditative and grounding.

My training and journey with Silent River Kung Fu challenges me both mentally and physically. It doesn't matter if I'm on course or off track, I'm always learning and growing as a person and as a martial artist. Even with the mediocrity in my life, the pursuit of mastery is ongoing. My perspective is constantly adjusting, I'm more open to possibilities and my capacity for control continues to expand and is flexible.

Kung Fu is also where I've learned to manage my anxiety and how ego ties into it. And because of this I'm also learning to recognize and understand my ego better and take back some control. I'm constantly expanding my bubble and bringing awareness and mindfulness to my life. The arbitrary limits that I find myself surrounded by can be identified and stretched. That’s what the IHC team has done for me and what the Kao Shi continues to do for me. 

As I go back and read through this blog I'm not surprised by my experiences and growth because I've lived it and yet I am still amazed at it all. There is so much to be thankful for and much to look forward to, which can start to become a bit overwhelming when I consider the scope of everything I'm doing and continue to do. This is were I have to be careful in navigating and managing everything and stay in the moment. (Funny, I just heard Sifu Dennis's voice in my head - "stay in the moment!")

Those other paths that at times call to me may offer their own challenges and benefits, but not to the degree that Kung Fu and being on the team does for me. And the best part is Kung Fu & Tai Chi transfers over into all aspects of my life. So whenever I feel pulled in a completely different direction I’ve decided to ask myself -  "What and how can I add to my life or adjust without having to do a complete 180?" 

The Little Moments

When I look back at the last couple weeks what stands out for me are the little moments and the fact that I’m aware they are happening and able to build on them. It’s these moments and experiences that help me to appreciate and embrace this leg of my journey. And this is a win. 

Maybe my journey isn’t about being on track. Instead, it could be the real value is in the personal challenges and taking care of myself, while still adding effort to find a way forward. And it’s all the little moments that help me to remain engaged and enjoy the journey, even when I’m struggling. 

Here are a few of the moments that stand out for me:

1. Applying a bit of Tai Chi to my hand form.

This started with slowing things down, then I take it further by bringing my focus to my hands as I transition from one technique to the next. Flow is improved, and more importantly my supporting hand becomes engaged almost developing a life of its own. It’s more purposeful and full of potential. And because this happens, I’m able to apply what I am feeling with my supporting hand to the other hand as well. 

There is a release and transfer of power with each technique, but also a cultivation of energy as I reengage during the transitional space and both left and right are working independently together. Harmonization and flexibility of movement begin to take place. I think this is a place where I feel options and adaptability can become more fluid outside of form. 

2. Applying speed to my hand form.

This is not something I do very often because of issues with my knees. Due to time constraints I found myself feeling the need to speed things up. And I was pleasantly surprised at how good it felt. Technique wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t terrible either. Afterwards, I remember thinking and feeling this was the closest I felt to letting go. Not something I feel very often so definitely exciting and something to explore a bit more.

3. Having a forms buddy.

I had approached Shing Burke a month ago about doing form reps together. This is working great as we both get some form reps in that might not otherwise happen. And I’m grateful to her for the reminders at the end of class when I forget.

I can honestly say I’m enjoying all these little moments that maybe aren’t so little after all. And it feels like I’m in a place again where I can explore some of the discoveries I made a couple months ago.