My Year So Far

Right from the start of the year, as life has a tendency to do, priorities shifted and continued to shift. This caused my well thought out plans and goals to crumble away. At first, I tried to stay on course and restart as needed. And then after continuing to struggle I simply let go. It wasn’t about giving up, it was more about redirecting my focus, making adjustments and embracing the changes.

Not being on the IHC team this year, and navigating ongoing life changes created a necessity to have an anchor and make use of the numerous tools gathered over the years. One of my intentions for stepping back from the team was to have a better feel for the foundation I had built over the years. I wanted to see what I could accomplish on my own. 

The unexpected personal growth I’ve experienced this year has been a direct result of things not going as planned. However, positive results and growth are not just the product of being thrown off track. Having the freedom and personal space to focus on me, helped to remove internal clutter and expectation, allowing me to embrace my life and the changes I was navigating. And as plans started to unravel consistent blogging became my anchor, it helped me to gather my thoughts and experiences and steered my journey in a more purposeful direction.

Along with personal growth I am also evolving as a martial artist. My understanding and feel of expansion and contraction is evolving. I'm learning to stand in my legs versus on my legs which has been a slower process than I'd like with ongoing knee issues. Core stability, understanding of vectors and energy are also being worked on and are evolving. So even though I've accomplished very little from my initial list of goals, I feel as though everything I've gained over the year is quite substantial and even profound at times.

Reading back over my blogs from this year helps me to see the relationship I continue to build with myself and my Kung Fu. It also provides a more accurate picture of my journey throughout the year. Relying on memory alone would invite ego to surface and cloud the overall picture. 

Navigating Illness

I am currently on day six of battling the flu. Thankfully, not a stomach flu, but pretty much every other symptom a person could experience. It has been a very long time since I’ve been sick to this extent. My best guess would be about 10 - 15 years, outside of the odd minor cold.

This got me to thinking If I do sick any differently now, then I did all those years ago. There has definitely been a shift in my mindset. I have gained experience and the freedom to put more effort into taking care of myself. I am more invested in myself.

Instead of just giving into being sick, I see this as a lesson to some degree in taking a measure of control as I listen to my body, rest and drink lots of fluids, enjoy lots of dog cuddles and spend time outdoors in the fresh air. 

Dealing with all the flu symptoms and not getting a good sleep at night is mentally and physically draining. However, there is only so much doing nothing I can tolerate. So as I've rested and taken care of myself I also looked for and found times where it made sense to push myself a bit. One day was a short walk with the dog, another day some play time out in the yard, or a trip to the dog park. With the sun shine and higher temps mid week I was also able to spend some time raking leaves, getting much needed fresh air. There was also a day I was able to take care of some laundry and a bit of housecleaning, but I still made sure to take things easy and rest lots.

My appetite has also been off so eating has been a bit of a challenge. After doing some research I discovered this is the body’s natural response to fighting infection and illness. Once I understood the why it made sense and I made adjustments to work with my body and eat in a way that would support the recovery process.

My being sick this week is another example of how engrained the pursuit of mastery has become in my life. After years of being on the IHC team my brain has become wired to apply effort, to look for opportunities, recognize the lessons and make adjustments. And the best part of this is - I'm able to pursue mastery while prioritizing my well being.

Stretching

The river ship I was on this past week had a great wellness program and coach. There were opportunities throughout each day to work on strengthening, stabilizing and stretching exercises and even get in some extra steps. 

There were some sore upper abs early in the week due to a class focused on core stability which was a good indicator of work needed in that area. 

I wasn’t able to do it all so I chose to focus on the stretching classes most days. The stretching felt good during and after and provided some good feedback in the moment. So if I understand the importance and value of regular stretching, why then has it not become a habit in my life? 

I could make excuses, but in reality it comes down to not prioritizing and creating the necessary time to make it happen.

For the Love of Forms

Am I having fun? Or… is it all work? This was asked of me recently with regard to my forms. 

I know there is a measure of enjoyment and satisfaction as I work through problem areas and feel the difference a small adjustment can make. Also applying what I’m learning in Tai Chi to my forms and also being able to apply aspects of my forms to my Tai Chi has been very inspiring and impactful all around. So yes, although it has been work, my time spent practicing is very satisfying and is moving me forward.

Where is the fun, and where is the love though? I knew almost immediately I’ve gotten caught up in applying lessons, connecting dots and improving. I’ve forgotten to just be in the form. To let go, have fun and practice for simple enjoyment. 

There is a sense of freedom I feel when I let myself go and just move freely. The form becomes a moving meditation. Six harmonies start to align and magic happens. Unfortunately I don’t practice this way very often.

Moving with joy and love in my heart can add another much needed layer and depth to my training and bring joy. I’ve always enjoyed forms, now it’s time to let go and surrender to the form with pure enjoyment. This is what will sustain me long term for years to come.

Gratitude & Appreciation

The little moments of negativity I've been experiencing lately are opportunities to change my perspective and view whatever is going on in a more positive light. This is not something new to me. I am however becoming aware when it happens and more importantly seeing these moments as lessons to learn and grow from. 

My desire and goal is to work towards changing my perspective so I can go about my day with more positivity. The intrusive negative thoughts affect my ability to fully embrace life at all times and be the best me I can be. I don't however see them as the enemy. They are more of a poke, encouraging me to practice and exercise positivity. 

So how do I build more positivity into my thoughts, my emotions and my life? 

A deeper and all encompassing appreciation and gratitude practice will help me to improve my perspective and move about my day with more positivity. I know this will require lots of practice and may be a slow process, but it will be worth it.

Stances, Transitions & Technique

Tuesday night’s class gave me a much needed glimpse of where I am and where I may be headed without awareness and some self directed intention. After doing Da Mu Hsing at the end of class, we talked about the importance of proper stances and transitions even if we can't execute them due to injury or knee issues. 

Sifu Rybak then asked us to video ourselves doing Da Mu Hsing. The goal isn’t about numerous retakes until we have a video showing our best form, it’s more of a tool that we can look at and get a good picture of our current execution and areas for improvement.  It's about also about building self awareness to continue moving forward. Are we in a proper stance, do transitions need work, are we committing to and finishing techniques? These are all things to ask ourselves.

After recording the video and thinking more on my stances and transitions I realized my stances are becoming sloppy as I have to compensate more and more for knee pain, and stability issues. That’s sloppiness is also starting to and/or has the potential to spill over into other areas of my forms as well. Everything then becomes muddled, which is something I want to avoid going forward. 

Without this tool, without this self awareness, I see myself sliding down a very slippery slope. So, my goal is to uphold the purity of each form to the best of my ability while also understanding and working within current disabilities while also enhancing my skill. In order to accomplish this I'm going to need to slow down a bit so I can focus on proper stances and techniques. I need to be clear in my head what the goals are for my forms so that even if I can't execute completely, I can still relay and teach others.

All in all an excellent class!

A You Inside of You!

There is a you inside of you!

I think of this as untapped potential. It is both Internal and external.

My blogging throughout the summer has been connecting with and bringing my internal 'you' to the surface. And everything I'm discovering and learning this year in Tai chi and as I work on my forms, consistently point me in the direction of my internal energies. The synchronicity of lessons being presented to me and how everything is connecting continues to surprise and delight,

Kung Fu isn't just technique or performance. It's rhythm, discipline, and presence.

It's moving with awareness, eating with gratitude, breathing with intention.
It's the art of aligning your body, mind, and daily life.
It's waking up early even when it's cold.
Kung Fu is not something you do.
It's something you ARE.

So how do we get to this state of being? How de we develop our internal 'you'?

BLOG!

This can be both simple and complex.

Pen, paper, keyboard or microphone - these are the easy components required to get started. The difficulty afterwards lies in the effort, reflection and intent required for each blog. Discipline is then needed to create a pattern of regular weekly blogging. At some point you will then find yourself becoming insightful more and more often as mindfulness and awareness increases. This is where we start to awaken and exercise our inner 'you' and evolve as human beings and martial artists.