Time For Action

Something interesting happened…. I did some counter pushups yesterday. Not because I had to or needed to check a box. It was a random unplanned moment that seemed to just happen automatically. That initial unconscious action then quickly became a conscious decision to continue for 20 reps. 

Apparently it was time to take out a well used tool that’s been gathering some dust for far too long. The concepts behind doing pushups and situps had been applied to other areas of my life, but the original tool had not been discarded. 

I think the key in all this is I’ve been staring to feel a bit stuck and knowing that the time for more action is here or at least drawing very near. So in reality that random moment wasn’t random at all. An established tool and muscle memory took over at an opportune time to remind me how easy and beneficial the effort of doing pushups can be. And to remind me the time for action is here. Makes perfect sense with the Year of the Horse almost upon us.

Breath as a Tool

There were significant key discoveries and take aways from this weeks black belt classes. During Tuesday’s class, we were working on a section in Lao Gar 1 with the focus on chi. After running through that section a number of times and not really feeling much in the way of chi, there was a spot where I realized I needed to adjust my breathing. As soon as I changed my breathing pattern to two inhales with one exhale at the end, everything fell into place. I was able to feel the flow of chi at the end of the sequence and it was pointed out to me that my technique corrected itself as well. 

Breathing differently during the technique brought that section of the form more in line with the Tai Chi I've been focused on this year. My pace slowed down with the extra breath and focus, allowing me time to experience and feel the energy more. Tempo, flow, energy input/output and technique all changed and improved with a simple adjustment to breath. 

A question I ask myself with regards to specific and mindful breathing, is how much of this is a tool to facilitate a particular outcome during a technique or sequence? And at what point is that tool no longer needed? I feel my goal needs to be on the desired outcome becoming natural, and eventually being able to eliminate or shorten some of the pauses or steps. The tool doesn't disappear completely, it just smooths out and becomes more natural with less thought required.

The internal and external styles share many fundamentals principles and Tai Chi has certainly improved and added depth to my Kung Fu. When I practise Tai Chi, I feel I am more aware of chi in each sequence and as I move through the form. There has been a lot of crossover from Tai Chi to my Kung Fu training and I've also been able to apply concepts from the more external forms of Kung Fu to help with my Tai Chi training.

This is definitely something to continue working on and exploring.

Back to Class!

This was the week! I was finally able to return to black belt classes in person after being away for five weeks. Attending classes has always been a priority for me so five weeks is a long time away. Being sick sucks. 

There was a part of me that was missing classes and yet comfort and rest became my priority, which also fueled the excuses to stay away. As symptoms decreased and I continued to feel better, there was no longer a valid reason to not go to class this week.

At the start of Tuesdays class I was unsure of where my energy level was at or how rusty my forms would be. There were two things that stood out for me during that first class back.

1. Forms- With my head in the game, I focused on the form we were doing. I remember thinking as I was going through the form how surprisingly good it felt. There were moments of flow and intensity at times. There were also a few sticky spots, but I didn’t feel stuck. They were noted and I moved on. Looking back now, I realize that I had let go of any expectations and allowed myself to be in the moment. 

2. Bag Kicks- I definitely had lower expectations and less confidence with kicks. My technique, power and speed all need to be addressed while working on a bag. Definitely a hole in my training and skill level that are in need of some care and attention.

So what did I do after class? I went to the Kwoon the following morning to get some practice in and to also start to rebuild a healthy training routine. And I have some thoughts/plans for the coming year.

Pre Sick Normal

There have been moments this week where I’ve had a sense of getting back to my pre sick normal. Post viral symptoms have been decreasing and my energy level has been increasing. It also feels good to be making some plans for next year and setting goals. Making positive and impactful decisions is helping me to get me unstuck from this loop of doing what has been mostly only necessary these past few weeks.

I know my normal is going to be constantly changing and evolving. I also know from past experience I have a degree of control and the ability to shape my experiences and outcomes. I simply need to exercise that control and continue putting one foot in front of the other. Looking forward to putting illness behind me.

Decision Time - Dream Big

It’s decision time!

 For me this means a time of reflection, contemplation and looking to the future. 

The question is whether or not to join the team this coming year. There have been some changes which I feel are exciting, but I also have to consider the extra anxiety caused by continuously stepping outside of my comfort zone.

So what’s holding me back?

• Fear of the unknown
• Stepping out of my comfort zone over and over again
• Navigating the increase in anxiety
• Being in the spotlight
• My own expectations and dreams and the perceived expectation of others

 What is pushing me forward?

• Knowing and having experienced the value of being on the IHC team
• An opportunity to push and expand my limits
• Continued pursuit of mastery
• Dreaming big
• Owning my potential 
• Excited to be a part of the IHC changes

I could continue in my current level of comfort. However, intuitively I know that yes is the correct answer when it comes to making this decision. And I know from past experience that whatever obstacles become my way, I can navigate them using the tools I have accumulated over the years.

Dreaming big requires time, effort and surrounding myself with like minded individuals.

I trust the process and I trust myself!

My Year So Far

Right from the start of the year, as life has a tendency to do, priorities shifted and continued to shift. This caused my well thought out plans and goals to crumble away. At first, I tried to stay on course and restart as needed. And then after continuing to struggle I simply let go. It wasn’t about giving up, it was more about redirecting my focus, making adjustments and embracing the changes.

Not being on the IHC team this year, and navigating ongoing life changes created a necessity to have an anchor and make use of the numerous tools gathered over the years. One of my intentions for stepping back from the team was to have a better feel for the foundation I had built over the years. I wanted to see what I could accomplish on my own. 

The unexpected personal growth I’ve experienced this year has been a direct result of things not going as planned. However, positive results and growth are not just the product of being thrown off track. Having the freedom and personal space to focus on me, helped to remove internal clutter and expectation, allowing me to embrace my life and the changes I was navigating. And as plans started to unravel consistent blogging became my anchor, it helped me to gather my thoughts and experiences and steered my journey in a more purposeful direction.

Along with personal growth I am also evolving as a martial artist. My understanding and feel of expansion and contraction is evolving. I'm learning to stand in my legs versus on my legs which has been a slower process than I'd like with ongoing knee issues. Core stability, understanding of vectors and energy are also being worked on and are evolving. So even though I've accomplished very little from my initial list of goals, I feel as though everything I've gained over the year is quite substantial and even profound at times.

Reading back over my blogs from this year helps me to see the relationship I continue to build with myself and my Kung Fu. It also provides a more accurate picture of my journey throughout the year. Relying on memory alone would invite ego to surface and cloud the overall picture. 

Navigating Illness

I am currently on day six of battling the flu. Thankfully, not a stomach flu, but pretty much every other symptom a person could experience. It has been a very long time since I’ve been sick to this extent. My best guess would be about 10 - 15 years, outside of the odd minor cold.

This got me to thinking If I do sick any differently now, then I did all those years ago. There has definitely been a shift in my mindset. I have gained experience and the freedom to put more effort into taking care of myself. I am more invested in myself.

Instead of just giving into being sick, I see this as a lesson to some degree in taking a measure of control as I listen to my body, rest and drink lots of fluids, enjoy lots of dog cuddles and spend time outdoors in the fresh air. 

Dealing with all the flu symptoms and not getting a good sleep at night is mentally and physically draining. However, there is only so much doing nothing I can tolerate. So as I've rested and taken care of myself I also looked for and found times where it made sense to push myself a bit. One day was a short walk with the dog, another day some play time out in the yard, or a trip to the dog park. With the sun shine and higher temps mid week I was also able to spend some time raking leaves, getting much needed fresh air. There was also a day I was able to take care of some laundry and a bit of housecleaning, but I still made sure to take things easy and rest lots.

My appetite has also been off so eating has been a bit of a challenge. After doing some research I discovered this is the body’s natural response to fighting infection and illness. Once I understood the why it made sense and I made adjustments to work with my body and eat in a way that would support the recovery process.

My being sick this week is another example of how engrained the pursuit of mastery has become in my life. After years of being on the IHC team my brain has become wired to apply effort, to look for opportunities, recognize the lessons and make adjustments. And the best part of this is - I'm able to pursue mastery while prioritizing my well being.