Full circle

When I think about coming full circle I appreciate the paths taken and distance travelled. I also appreciate where I am today as a result and I am thankful for the lessons that continue to shape my journey.

It could feel as if one is starting over again with never ending lessons looming overhead, in an ongoing pursuit of mastery. And I could ask myself, "At what point does it all get easier and why am I not able to stay on track?"  Fortunately I don't get stuck in those negative thoughts. 

Now, when I think about coming full circle, I feel gratitude, the abundance of life and am able to celebrate all that I am and all that I have. This awareness and positivity helps me to recognize and embrace my ever expanding box of tools. It is these tools that will help me navigate and continue on this ever changing circle of life. 

As I continue to move forward, experience success along the way and all too often struggle, I am reminded of some key lessons learned and valuable tools picked up over the years. This is a valuable reminder to myself to brush off and polish up some of the tools that can get rusty or forgotten.

Key lessons and Valuable Tools

No regrets - Say yes to opportunity and live life to the fullest of my ability in a given moment. I have had to push myself many times to take part rather than simply observe. Being a part of the IHC team over the course of numerous years has given me many opportunities to expand my bubble. As a result I've done more and accomplished more than I thought possible. Even though I still struggle with this, it is at the forefront of my mind and gives me the power to help better shape my life.

Self Expectations - Expectations need to flexible so ego doesn't take over and become a barrier to growth. "I had created an idea in my mind of what I wanted for personal growth, and was let down by the results. Not blaming the program, but instead blaming myself. This was a barrier I created in my own mind. When I quit looking at what I wanted out of the program, I was able to actually see what I had received. The barrier was removed." This is one of the most significant discoveries learned at the end of my first year on the IHC team.Voicing this dissatisfaction led to a conversation and some deeper self reflection expanding my perspective and opening my eyes. This is also where I first understood the power of self reflection and blogging.

30 seconds or less - Just imagine what a person can get done in as little as 30 seconds. While it can be mentally challenging to block off larger chunks of time, we all have numerous 30 second moments throughout our day. This is a concept that has helped to motivate me, increase my awareness so I can recognize these valuable moments and provides satisfaction. It started with a few pushups and sit ups and evolved into pretty much anything. I can pack a healthy snack, wipe a counter or a quick tidy, practice gratitude or do some mindful breathing. "I am taking advantage of those often overlooked and under used moments in time and making them count for something."

1/12 of a Teaspoon - "Did you know that the life of a worker bee is 6 to 20 weeks depending on the time of year? Most of that time is spent gathering nectar. And in their lifetime they will only make 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey. All their work is done for the colony, helping future generations and not the individual bee" When I'm having difficulty recognizing my contributions and the efforts I perceive myself to be making, I think of the worker bee. As I move through my day everything I do matters. My efforts and contributions to myself and the world around me matter. I could produce 1/12 of a teaspoon in a minute, an hour, a day or a month. What's important is not discounting the size or quantity or my efforts. What matters is consistent effort in some form or another.

Frantic or Calm - How do I train or do anything in life? The beauty in this for me was taking the time to compare the opposite of frantic and calm. While I didn't consider my training to be frantic, it also was not what I would describe as calm. 

Frantic definition - hurried, chaotic, disorganized, time crunch, fixated
Frantic Antonym - calm, composed, relaxed, balanced, grounded, moderate, peaceful

Keeping this in front of me helps to ground me and embrace my journey.

Thank You Ego... - Thank you ego, move aside, I've got this! This a very powerful mantra for me. It helps me to manage my anxiety, it keeps my strengths in check and addresses my weaknesses without invalidating myself. More and more I am recognizing my ego in motion

Coming full circle is part of pursing mastery if done with awareness and reflection. And when I think about effortless effort, I realize mediocrity only sets in at that point when there is a lack of awareness and the desire or motivation to pursue more. With awareness and the pursuit of more, effortless effort can lead to mastery.

Self reflection, awareness and the multiple tools accumulated will continue to help me as I navigate this next cycle of life. While my year has not turned out at all like I had planned, there is so much I am learning and grateful for. 

My starting point has moved a great deal from when I first joined the IHC all those years ago! 

I feel Content

 I feel joy, I feel gratitude, I feel blessed and then there are times when I feel moments of stress, frustration and mediocrity. 

I'm experiencing more and more awareness of self, individual uniqueness and the world around me. Things are coming full circle, in a natural evolution of my humaneness. 

More to come on this….

Have to Mindset

My daily intake of food has been what I would consider mostly healthy for a number of years now. Refined sugars have been significantly reduced and very little processed foods are consumed. There was a time where I practiced intermittent fasting daily and had a pretty solid routine of alternating between lemon water and a drink made with apple cider vinegar every morning before breakfast. Built in cheat days on the weekends were factored in to help make things more sustainable long term. 

There are times when I do really well on my own and other times where I’m struggling to maintain what I’ve built. This is one of those times where I find more effort and discipline is needed and I'm finding it more and more difficult to get back on the wagon after I fall off. Food is a challenge for me. Constant adjustments and restarts seem to be the norm right now.

Recently I stumbled across a short series of podcasts on managing glucose levels. The first key takeaway is all about starting our day with a healthy balanced breakfast that consists of a protein, a fat, a veggie and a carb. Fruits can then be added if desired at the end. I do eat a healthy breakfast, but unbalanced when it comes to blood sugars.  The second takeaway is eating a veggie first at the start of every meal to help balance and regulate blood sugars. With a bit of planning and prep I’ve been able to make the recommended changes and I've noticed my energy levels have been more consistent without an afternoon slump. Something I noticed about sweets is I still want them (mostly out of habit I believe), but I'm not getting the same satisfaction from them. Hmm... that's interesting.

Change is constant so I know I need to continue to expand my knowledge and be open to new information and make adjustments rather than trying to hold onto something that may have worked in the past. I sometimes forget to ask myself the necessary questions and seek out answers because I've become too comfortable. 

So what is missing? It's my mindset and the ability to see the bigger picture. A must or have to mindset is key to building health and vitality. With the right mindset procrastination doesn't stand a chance making room for motivation to take over, which can then lead to positive results. 

Note to self: Check my mindset every morning and every hour to see the correct path forward and stay on track. 

The Power in Quiet Moments

Hand form and weapon form training has almost, but not completely disappeared from my routine these past few weeks. I don’t feel as if I’m struggling and yet I do feel a measure of failure with my inability to find time, space and motivation.

With everything happening, I find myself getting distracted by the ongoing flux between storm clouds and thunder or the flowers and sunshine. Just when I start to figure things out and adjust, life adds in an extra component to disrupt my somewhat fragile balance. 

The interesting thing is I'm not as stressed as I would have been in the past. Stress is still there it just doesn’t affect me the same way. The reason for that is I do a better job at taking care of myself and I'm able to see past the here and now while also living in the moment. My Kung Fu may look much different right now, it is however very much alive and strong.

There is a part of me that questions how much of what I'm experiencing is mediocrity slowly and methodically creeping in or mastery presenting itself in a different form. I do believe there is a good amount of mastery growing and evolving with areas of improvement to address as well. 

Something that really stood out for me today was a random unplanned moment of quiet awareness leaving me with a feeling of peace. In that moment I had a profound sense of gratitude and well being. There was no mediocrity, only mastery in the truest sense of the word in that moment. 

If I was to sum it all up... , even though I am failing in some areas, my spirit is constantly being filled with gratitude, joy and awareness for the beauty of life. And for this I feel blessed. Now I just need to figure out how to incorporate more of my forms and Tai Chi into my routine.

Beyond the surface

Tai chi has again delivered some great lessons this week. 

White stork spreads its wings has not felt good for a while now. What I thought was more of a timing issue turns out to be more of an issue with releasing. After talking with Sifu Dennis I quickly realized what was missing. I’d been too focused on releasing my hands and lost sight of the fact they are connected to my arms, shoulders etc. I wasn't committing to the release. it was definitely a aha… duh, me moment. In a good, way! 

This has also led me to thinking and evolving my understanding of contraction and expansion, both internal and external. When I apply my new understanding of releasing and incorporating more of the body, I realized this will also naturally improve contraction and expansion and flow.

Life is Beautiful

A friend commented recently that life is art. And that got me to thinking about how truly beautiful life is. I found that as I reflected on this, my awareness and appreciation grew and I could sense the beauty of life expanding and growing inside me. I felt gratitude and grounded and that in itself is a huge gift.

This feels especially important right now because having gratitude and feeling grounded is helping me to better navigate my life and the world around me. You see, my feelings are really all over the place lately. There are times when I feel a zen like quality to my life filled with peace, joy and contentment and then other times when I feel a bit at odds with many things. It feels as if I'm on a path of awakening and having a difficult time letting go of what was and navigating the ongoing expectations of our western culture. 

I know there are time frames in my day where I’ve allowed mediocrity to creep in, but even when Mastery feels like an uphill battle, it is still there and has not been forgotten or set aside. Every positive choice I make keeps me on the right path.

These past few weeks I’ve had to really push myself to blog. What keeps me going is knowing how well it has served me and keeps me anchored. I know If I allowed myself to stop I would be left with big gaps making it even harder to move forward and as I've said many times before I would not be where I am today without the blogging. 

I could allow myself to focus on only the zen like quality to my life and completely ignore the areas I'm struggling with, but I know if I was to do that it would feel like I was taking many steps backwards. Obstacles, distractions and struggles are all opportunities for learning and growth. My dog trainer reminded me of this recently. 

There are no wrong choices, only different paths and timeframes to get to our destinations so I will continue to reflect and search out answers to questions I'm not fully aware of and explore this beautiful life I'm living. 

This is currently my Kung Fu!

The Power of Eyes

Use your eyes! Look in the direction you are intending to go, is something we hear often from our instructors. So this is not a new concept and I know it has succeeded in planting some seeds. It is because of those seeds that I am able to make my own discoveries and nurture what has already been planted. 

Practicing Tai Chi in class a few months ago is when I first consciously chose to pause during a transition and look in the direction I was about to go. It was during a tricky transition and for some reason out of the blue a past lesson came to mind. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but wow.. , looking in the direction I was intending to travel made a positive impact. 

I am learning that making use of the eyes needs to be done with the correct timing. If I don’t commit to the previous move before changing the trajectory of my eyes, the desired or optimal results are not the same. I have found that when using my eyes with intent and proper timing, it actually helps to naturally engage the six harmonies and facilitate transitions and better technique. And I've been able to connect and experience the power of my eyes during sections of all of my forms. There is still lots of work to be done and I'm sure more exciting discoveries to be made.