Something Doesn’t Feel Right

Most of my training questions lately, start as a result of something not feeling quite right. And the answers end up being mostly about footwork (retreating vs advancing) which then becomes linked to vectors, both internal and external and core engagement. Energy and power transfer occur more naturally as a result of everything working together. 

The other issue I encounter is release. I'm having to rewire my brain when it comes to release and really shift my focus from external to internal. So much to apply and be aware of in any given moment. It still doesn't come naturally to me yet, but as I continue to practice I know there will improvement.

There are a number of areas currently being worked on and tweaked. My favorite right now is the high rising block with a palm heel strike from a horse stance. My understanding and execution of that section has expanded and - wow, what a difference!

I find I am really enjoying this process. As I apply what I am learning I can feel the difference and additional pathways of knowledge open up to expand on. 

Light at the End of the Tunnel

The light at the end of the tunnel is coming closer and brighter. Mindful breathing and applying the concept of ‘owning the mat’ has really helped me with awareness and shifting my perspective. I was able to get in some extra training this week at the Kwoon and attend Tai Chi in person. And for the first time in a couple weeks I felt uplifted and enjoyed black belt class.

Regular blogging, eating mostly healthy and practicing daily gratitude have helped to slowly steer me back on track. These work because I have developed them as regular habits. Some of my other tools like mindful breathing and meditation have become a bit dusty due to being underused.

Even though I’ve been struggling I see this as a reminder to not become too comfortable. There is much value and necessity in not neglecting core tools and practices and staying open to new tools and resources. 

Veering off path, struggles and failures, these are all gifts! While I may at times become frustrated or discouraged I know there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel if I at least apply some measure of effort towards moving forward.

Disengaged

I’ve been feeling disengaged and lacking motivation lately. The excess stress I’ve been dealing with has taken a toll. Outside of work and family, it feels as if I have very little left to give. 

With everything now being less stressful and more manageable, one would think it would be easier to get back on track. Part of the issue is there is still so much unknown which causes a residual stress effect. It feels as if I’m in this mode of needing to bank rest and relaxation.

This too shall pass is something I know to be true. I also know instead of simply waiting for this to pass it is important to work at finding ways to take care of myself which can help speed up the process. 

“Own the Mat”

"To own the mat" in martial arts doesn't refer to physical ownership, but rather to achieving mastery, control, and confidence within the training space, often through skill, discipline, and respect for the practice and environment.

The phrase 'to own the mat' has been percolating in my brain for a few months now. It was first mentioned to me by a close friend of mine. After the seed was planted, I have found myself thinking on this and occasionally trying to apply it to situations in and out of the Kwoon.

My purpose in writing this blog is to better define it, and then develop more clarity as it pertains to me. The more I understand, the more likely I am to developing it as a valuable tool, building awareness and then being able to apply it in different situations. 

When I think about what 'owning the mat' means for me, what comes to mind is perspective, a shift in thinking, taking control, bringing a measure of confidence ( confidence with humility), and asserting myself when necessary. 

Owning the mat I'm on can be a game changer for me and for others around me. It has the ability to enhance or change perspective, improve control and build self confidence. This is becoming more and more important to me, because as I encounter situations that are out of my comfort zone or experiencing negative thoughts and feelings, I know I have the ability to 'own the mat' I find myself on in that moment. 

The beauty in this is as I remind myself to 'own the mat', my perspective then shifts a little. It shifts just enough to make room for self control, discipline, respect for myself, and those around me. And during this process negative thoughts and feeling are replaced with purpose and action. Positivity takes over. This is a powerful tool and I see it as an amazing gift!

*Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the concept of 'own the mat' became a natural way of thinking and being for all of us while still keeping awareness and mindfulness intact?

Glitchy Week

This has been a bit of an off week. There have been moments where I felt unsettled, and wishing or wanting more or less at times. 

Something that’s been on my mind as I navigate everything that’s going on, is my ego. I think because of all the added stress my ego has come bubbling to the surface ready to take over. I’ve been either up, down or somewhere in between.

As I reflect on this weeks glitches and issues with ego, I realized there’s much to be thankful for. Personal growth in the areas of awareness and mindfulness is helping me to recognize the valuable lessons that come my way. And while I may initially push things away, I still take the time to reflect at some point because I know these glitches have been provided so I can learn and grow from them.

Everything serves me when I am mindful and open!

Best Version of Myself

Being the best version of myself is quite simply, being OK with me just as I am in any given moment. Ego is taken out of the equation. 

A few weeks ago as I was leaving the hospital I had this moment of clarity and awareness. In that moment, I knew I didn’t need to be perfect, everything didn’t need to be in order. I could just be me and that fills me up.

My kung fu Journey has led me down many different paths over the years. Guiding me along the way has been my own pursuit of mastery and striving to be the best version of myself in the process.

The awareness I had recently got me to thinking what does being the best version of myself actually mean? It could mean a lot of things to a lot of different people, but whatever I am working towards and trying to improve or build upon comes down to how I am feeling about myself in the moment without ego muddling things up.

I can still strive to be more, build on my successes and learn from failures, but at the same time be at one with who I am and where I am in that moment. 

The Power of Priorities

Every once in a while I am reminded of the power an intentional priority can hold. I’ve experienced this multiple times over the years and Kung fu is a great example.

Prioritizing Kung fu classes has helped me to have a better work life balance and advocate for myself. It has also helped me to push through my anxiety, guiding me on a journey that has led me to where I am now, all because I made classes and kung fu a priority in my life.

I’ve also learned over the years to make taking care of myself a priority, especially during times of additional stress. Both last week and this week I was able to fit in sometime at the kwoon to train. With everything going on with my dad, it was much needed time to do something for me, but in order for it to happen, I had to make me a priority. 

The power is not just the priority itself. It is in the benefits, the outcome and the ripple effects that develop as a result. There is also power in being able carving out time for myself. Almost to the extent where I am able to create/manufacture the time needed all because I’m determined to do so.

Some of those priorities have been conscious choices occurring as the result of a deep, inner knowing of what is needed in my life in that moment and for the future. They can often start as a tiny seed of thought and then quickly take on a life of their own.

As I reflect on this, I find myself smiling when I consider everything I’ve been able to accomplish because of the power of intentional priorities.