Asking The Right Questions

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James E. Ryan is the dean of the Harvard Graduate School of Education. His latest book is Wait, What? And Life’s Other Essential Questions. In the book, he discusses 5 major questions we can use to help ourselves in our lives–

1 – Wait, what?

Spoken or unspoken, this question asks our busy selves to stop and think. We need to slow down and make sure we are understanding what is attempting to be communicated. Are we rushing to judgment before truly understanding and considering the subject at hand? Clear communication allows us to prevent needless conflicts. Invite in-depth conversation by asking good questions and allowing others to tell their stories. This creates deep bonding.

2 – I wonder (why)… OR I wonder if…

Instead of assuming, and continuing with old thought patterns, keep your curiosity active by asking why. Pause to appreciate something mysterious or miraculous. Keeping a child-like curiosity and listening to your inner urges to understand things helps you open to   possibilities.

3 – Couldn’t we at least…?

Finding common ground and focusing on forward movement, even without perfection, can lead us to more progress and more joy. This question can help us overcome initial inertia and get started on solving issues or problems. Once the ball is rolling, answers tend to show up. Pick a small, reachable goal; have some success; then tackle bigger goals.

4 – How can I help?

Helping others is noble and welcomed if it truly fits someone’s needs. Asking “How can I help?” and then truly listening allows the other person to guide you in how you can be of best service. This helps you form a connection with the other person while allowing them to feel respected. Asking “how” can also help bring better solutions. Slow down, be sincere, and allow magic to happen.

5 – What truly matters?

Ask yourself this question on a daily basis in respect to big plans and small things in your life. What is most important to you and how can you best achieve that? Break that down into various aspects and determine the specific steps of action you need take. 

I read James E. Ryan's interview transcript in which he talks about his book and these five questions. He goes into much more detail and gives examples of how each of the questions could be used and why they are so important to our daily lives. As I was reading over the questions, they all resonated with me, but #5 in particular really spoke to me. 

There is a lot of substance in each of these questions and I think it would be beneficial to take some time and reflect on each one and what they mean to us and how we can incorporate them into our lives every day. Making use of these questions regularly in our lives will help us greatly on our path towards mastery!

Michele Ward