Habits and our perception of what is necessary (real or not), drives most of what we do. Some things we do simply because it is expected of us and other times our actions are directly related to how we feel in the moment. Some activities are good for the soul, but are not embarked upon often enough. Knowing that a particular activity brings us inner peace, joy or excitement does not necessarily guide a person towards making a choice that supports those positive and valuable experiences. Why is that?
There are many reasons "why we do what we do", but in Kung Fu we talk a lot about value. We do or don't do based on the value we perceive an action or activity to have and how it benefits us. Our knowledge, understanding and perception play important roles to understanding where the value is. Especially when there is hard work and long term effort involved or we are simply not interested initially.
When I take the time to think on things, I am usually able to see how and why something has value. I have experienced firsthand the value of hard work and long term effort, that a particular action or activity brings. My desire and motivation is low though when it comes to certain activities and requirements. Even though I know and understand their value, I haven't yet experienced their value. Yes... I admit, I need something to show me that I'm on the right path. Sooner than later. Expectations also play a huge part of "why I do what I do." Goals don't need to be set. I simply dig in and do what needs to be done. There is a certain satisfaction when completing a big task quickly and under stress. And doing a great job.
I have been struggling because even though I understand the value that specific activities and actions would bring me, I am not sure I need them in my life at this time. Something is missing and I'm not sure what it is. I am wavering somewhere in between mediocrity and mastery. Not on the couch, but definitely sitting on the bench at this point!
Michele Ward
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