Nice vs Kind

Definition of kindness - the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate, helpful, and thinking about other people's feelings

Nice by definition is someone who is pleasant, friendly, polite, someone who does the right thing.

I grew up during a time when respect and manners were taught by the majority of parents. Things like please and thank you, saying excuse me, holding open a door, addressing adults by Mr. or Mrs. etc. was valued and expected. As a child growing up I was extremely shy and doing the right thing was foremost in my mind. I was always trying to do what was expected, to not step outside the lines and not call attention to myself. I believed myself to be a nice person. I then took those lessens and taught my children to say please and thank you, to say excuse me, etc. while they were growing up. My oldest two children caught on very quickly and were always praised for being well behaved and polite. The well behaved part didn't always translate to home, but they were polite no matter where they were. My 3rd and youngest child didn't seem to get the aspect of politeness and I struggled getting him to accept and comply with simple things like please and thank you. Despite this my youngest child has been the most agreeable and well behaved and I believe he is a kind person. And I know that when he is being kind it comes from a genuine place and less likely to be performed because of expectations, appearance or the possibility of a reward. So, just how important are words like please and thank you? Does being nice and doing what is expected equate to kindness? Probably not. Being nice is definitely better than some of the alternatives, but how much conscious thought and effort does niceness require? Is niceness simply a step above mediocre? Kindness requires awareness, and conscious thought and action. Kindness is not sitting back on the side lines. Kindness is compassionate, empathetic and understanding. Kindness does not have an ulterior motive. Kindness takes care of yourself, others and the environment. Kindness is not mediocre!

I have been having a hard time getting enough acts of kindness completed each week. I've struggled with what to record as an act of kindness. I consider myself a nice person, but I have realized there is a difference between being nice versus kind. Things like please, thank you and holding open a door are automatic for me. Not a lot of thought needs to happen. So I don't feel these are worthy of recording. And if I am at home most of the day there is very little opportunity to perform acts of kindness. I'm not sure if anyone else is having a hard time with this as well. I have even struggled with why we should be recording our acts of kindness, but I very quickly realize that this becomes a tool towards gaining awareness and becoming conscious of opportunities to show kindness to others and ourselves. 

If anyone else is having some trouble with acts of kindness, check out this website:

http://www.becomingwhoyouare.net/the-true-meaning-of-kindness/

Namaste,

Michele Ward