Practicing Gratitude

 

I have been making more of an effort to practice gratitude each day by starting my day and ending my with gratitude. Some gratitudes are automatic and others are done with more conscious thought and consideration. This isn't happening consistently as the habit and practice is still developing, but the consistency is building as each day passes.

I am grateful for Kung Fu, our past masters and all the instructors, but I am realizing there is so much more to be aware of and grateful for. Master Brinker recently discussed some of the many benefits our forms provide. On some level I was aware of all the benefits mentioned and yet was not fully utilizing that awareness. I can now see how also practicing gratitude on a more conscious level before and during my forms practice can add another dimension to my training. For example, if I think about being grateful for the benefits of stretching within a form, I will be more aware of those moments and able to take advantage of them. In addition to the benefit of improved muscle stretches, I will have also improved my stances and as a result have even more to be grateful for.

Gratitude can exist on a surface level or a deeper more conscious level when I allow myself to be open and feel the connections that exist. Gratitude opens my eyes to the limitless potential of the universe and helps me to draw on the abundance that already exists. By practicing gratitude, I am taking my small world/bubble and expanding it to include everyone and everything. Practicing gratitude provides an abundance of positive energy to the universe for all to benefit from.

Trajectory

Here we are getting close to the end of December and the Year of the Ox is almost done. And, I now have a pretty solid picture of my trajectory over the year. Starting the year off strong helped me to build momentum and projected me forward. For the normally cautious me, it was a bit like being shot out of a cannon, in a good way.

The first 7 months were a result of conscious decisions made and actions taken. I found that being on an upward trajectory created a desire to continue the momentum and find ways to build on the results. That trajectory however didn't last when I found my emotional state and internal engine starting to sputter, running out of gas. Some obstacles can be planned for and others are more random, coming at us with no warning.

I've learned that internal, emotional and ego based stuff can be the most difficult to discern and overcome. Taking care of myself has to always be at the top of the list. And I know even when unexpected life events occur, I still have a large measure of control that will allow me to take charge. How I react, the decisions I make and the actions I take are all mine and knowing this can help me to reset and make adjustments. Practicing gratitude can help me recognize and shift my focus to the positives. Also leading a balanced, healthy lifestyle provides a solid base to operate from. 

That downward trajectory could have been much worse if I hadn't continued to blog. Keeping up with the weekly blogs helped to keep me engaged with the rest of the team. Self reflection and blogging also helped to anchor me and provide at least some forward momentum. 

Putting all of this into practice is the true test. I am encouraged though by my ability to draw on some of the tools in my tool box. Things could have been worse and all was not lost. It is simply a matter of finding even just one tool that will keep me afloat until I find a way to navigate through whatever is holding me back. 

My trajectory is what I make it and how I respond to the transitions along the way. I keep in front of me the knowledge that every obstacle put in my way provides lessons and potential growth.

Namaste everyone!

Smile!

 

This past week I've been reflecting on attitude and how much my attitude can factor into the overall tone for the day and what I am able to accomplish. 

The attitude of "Just do it" usually works for me but not always. I find it mostly a surface fix to initially get me going and often that is all I need to ignite motivation and engagement. This is also the attitude that propels me forward and keeps me stepping out of my comfort zone with or with out anxiety present. As I am getting back on track though, I still am having moments when the "Just do it" attitude is not enough. So I ask myself why?

If I'm going to step outside my comfort zone or "Just do it" when it comes to my training, I believe there is a another layer to consider with regards to attitude. A certain measure of happiness, enthusiasm and joy needs to be factored in. This can be a conscious attitude adjustment implemented at the start to help with motivation. Flipping a switch and adding a simple smile at the beginning can change the blahs or indifference and even reduce my anxiety and help propel me forward in a more positive way. I've tried this and I know it works! 

I am becoming more aware of the toll of living with chronic anxiety has taken and how it has shaped my life over the years. Don't get me wrong, there have been many accomplishments and numerous times when I successfully said yes to opportunities that were outside my comfort zone. Sometimes it is easier and other times it's a constant inner battle with myself. It's that inner battle that has the ability to diminish joy and happiness. This is because anxiety tends to put me in a type of survival mode. And it is difficult to have enthusiasm for something when you are thinking about surviving and just making it through. There is still a feeling of accomplishment at the end, but something is lost along the way.

I have learned the importance of balance in everything. I say yes to as much as I can and give myself permission to say no when it starts to become overwhelming. I am still learning where this optimum balance point is but I do feel that there has been progression in the right direction. And I am learning the value of a smile and how it can actually create positive changes both internally and externally. I am slowly moving out of the overthinking, anxious, cautious operating mode into a more gentle, joyful and inquisitive mode of being. 

Namaste everyone!

Strengths & Weaknesses

Deeper, more personal self reflection is something that I normally shy away from. Peeling that onion layer by layer can be messy and a lot of hard work. Training as a martial artist and blogging over the years has unintentionally helped me to peel my onion. 

Personal strengths and weaknesses have been at the forefront of my thoughts lately. I could most likely list a few without giving it too much thought, but have never formally asked myself what my top 5 of each are. I now have a list with 7 of each which will require some further contemplation. I may or may not whittle it down to 5 as I complete this process. 

As I read over my weaknesses, I am aware of the positive aspects contained within each one. Some could even be considered a strength in the right context and I can see opportunities for growth. Having the mindset to work with them rather than against them allows me to see the benefits in certain cases or where to pursue areas for improvement. I recognize potential and opportunity in weakness.

When I look at my strengths, I can see if taken too far they can become a weakness. There are times when a strength might need to be reigned in or I could loose myself and my ability to stay open to possibilities. Strengths can provide lessons in awareness and balance.

Both strengths and weaknesses require a self check from time to time. An awareness of where the scale sits and if any adjustments are needing to be made. Ideally I want to be in a place where I can embrace both sides as they ebb and flow.

Namaste everyone!