I am Intrepid

Intrepid is not the first word I would use to describe myself. I would most likely think of myself as cautious and controlled. And yet I also have an internal intrepid spirit which is curious by nature, includes a thirst for knowledge, and can be adventurous and creative.

My curious nature started as a young child and never left me. That phase of why, why, why has continued on through the years. I have always been intrigued by the multitude of answers and possibilities and continue to be intrigued by answers even now.

My adventurous spirit really blossomed as I entered the travel industry. So many opportunities, people and places to discover. I am grateful to have visited Egypt, Vietnam, Cambodia and Dubai on my own. I didn't wait for someone else to be able to travel with me. I forged ahead and grabbed ahold of opportunities as they presented themselves. There have also been times when I've created my own opportunities in the spirit of adventure. I am intrepid while still knowing my own limitations, so I travel carefully making use of guides and tour groups while still pushing myself outside of my comfort zone at times.

Through these experiences I am able to expand my awareness and views of the world. I feel alive and strengthen my capacity for empathy and compassion towards others and my gratitude grows with each experience.

I am intrepid! I am dauntless, brave and have an ongoing curiosity and a thirst for new experiences.

React or Respond

Trajectory in our lives can take different paths. And some paths may be more visible and measurable than others. My trajectory last year skyrocketed as most things aligned for me. This type of growth isn't sustainable though. Natural rhythms and cycles within nature and the universe are constantly in a state of flux, becoming woven into our lives causing all sorts of disruptions or alignments.

The obstacles that I keep encountering this year have most definitely altered my trajectory. It is still there, just less visible and harder to measure as it has taken a different path. Knowing this, I am able to let go of where I wanted to be and am learning to embrace where I am going. I'm learning so much and evolving in ways that I never would have imagined. 

Kung fu has become woven into my life. I haven't taken a break from my training. I just currently train differently. I am utilizing the many pathways created through my growth as a martial artist. Each of these pathways create their own journey. Journeys that consist of their own ups and downs as I work towards building healthier habits and personal growth. 

It's quite amazing how you can hear or read something that sticks with you at just the right time. This has been happening often for me this year. The latest gem of wisdom is the act of responding vs reacting. I am utilizing this gem often lately and grateful for its timely entrance into my life right now.

Timely because dad's health has been an ongoing issue since April and is he now exhibiting signs of dementia. There is also an extreme family dynamic with my 2 brothers who live with him. I say extreme for many different reasons, but most importantly a recent threat to my life. This has resulted in the police being involved and victims services reaching out to me. I don't think of myself as a victim, but I have had to think more about my safety and that of my family and am finding it harder to stay focused.

Responding vs reacting has been helpful to me in dealing with dad and this whole situation. Reacting is usually an automatic action that happens without awareness or conscious thought and tends to be emotional and rash. Responding is derived from the word responsibility and can take a bit more time as it involves awareness, consideration and thought. It requires awareness on my part to break the pattern and step away from reaction into a responding frame of mind. I am becoming better at catching myself jump into reaction mode. With practice I will be able to work towards building healthier responses. 

With sparring some people might think that the automatic reaction is the best choice. It happens very quickly and can be effective. The feedback is immediate. Taking the time to respond is a better choice though, but requires time to develop. Developing the ability to process information quickly. Staying in the moment while still being able to process your options at the same time. The more you practice this the faster and more efficient you can become. Responding provides more control and the ability to adapt as the situation changes and can help to alleviate costly mistakes. 

Even if I am not actually sparring I am still applying concepts that will help me with my sparring. There have been many opportunities to practice staying calm. I have learned from first hand experience that staying calm can somewhat depend on the opponent I am up against and my current frame of mind. I've had great success and some ok successes. Having someone yelling at you and throwing out verbal assaults with threats of violence and death has a way of deflating the calmness. 

Even though my current circumstances have been stressful, I am grateful for the lessons I am learning. I say this truthfully because I can feel the growth and personal strength evolving even though there are moments when I also feel overwhelmed and stressed.

 

Filling My Cup

Wow! I feel blessed and full of gratitude to have taken part in a weekend Nemetona Goddess gathering which took place in a beautiful natural setting. A weekend spent with 20 other beautiful women willing to be open, present and share their beautiful spirits with each other. Some had existing relationships and a few of us were completely new and all of us left as friends.

We came together and created our own forest of trees, each with individual strengths, personalities and qualities. As the weekend evolved we laughed, shared, shed tears, and helped to heal each other as needed. As the weekend came to an end, we all felt more grounded than when we first started. Our root system was deeper, stronger and more connected to each other. We became a collective, giving and receiving strength and energy from each other, from our ancestors and from mother nature. We all left with cups much fuller and more enriched than when we first arrived. 

The importance of filling ones cup often gets overlooked and forgotten about. Life tends to get in the way of self care. How can I continue to keep my cup full? Meditation, time spent in nature, eating healthy, and connection with others are vital to my self care. I also realized this weekend the importance of shared experiences. Everyone of us has unique challenges and gifts. It is in the sharing and acceptance of these challenges and gifts that helps to fill our cups with abundance and love. 

I continue to be amazed by the benefits that Kung Fu provides. You see, I realized that Kung Fu and the way we train at Silent River is in many ways similar to what I experienced this weekend. We have a very special group of instructors, and students that are willing to learn, teach and share with each other. I am surrounded by like minded individuals on a similar journey, willing to learn from each other and give of themselves. It is those shared experiences of successes and failures, learning and growth that helps us to become stronger together.  

Take a look around you next time you are at the Kwoon and consciously connect with other students, instructors and our past masters. Our collective energy of the past, present and future can be a strong bond when we become conscious participants. Kung fu enriches my life, fills my cup and helps me to be a better version of myself.

The Creativity of Me

 

"Whenever you do something, do it as a piece of art. Let everything express the creativity of YOU."

- Yogi Bhajan

This quote really resonates with me. I feel it speaks to each person's individual flair and goes beyond personality. It's about allowing the essence of who we are in any given moment to shine and expand outward. It can be playful expression, inspiration, imagination and the unique way our bodies move.

I immediately thought of my Kung Fu journey and how it has evolved over the years and how I have evolved over the years as a result. When I first started Kung Fu, creativity was the last thing on my mind. Managing my anxiety each time I stepped on the mats was my first priority and then absorbing and trying to remember everything was next on the list. My sole focus was on recreating. I didn't even think that creativity was an option.

Fast forward a number of years and I have come across this beautiful quote that is such an amazing gift. A gift because it has helped me to become more aware of the change that has been naturally occurring in my training. As I read the quote I realized I am starting to feel the expression of my own creativity in my Kung Fu and other things as well. The quote fills me with an abundance of possibility that puts a smile on my face. It feels like permission to be me.