It is amazing how things can change so quickly. We had successfully moved dad into his new apartment on November 12th. Safety and accessibility to family, socialization and independence were all determining factors in getting him out of his acreage and into his own place. Dad has been enjoying his apartment and having a safe space that also provides a warm welcoming community. At the same time it has been a major life change which adds different stressors when dealing with dementia.
Having dad right in Stony Plain and close to us has been wonderful. I have been able to spend time with him every day helping him adjust to his new apartment. Simple things like operating the TV or microwave has become challenging for dad. Home Care had started to come in twice a day for medication assist and showering. Remaining independent as long as possible is important to dad and because that is what he wants for himself I am here to support him for as long as safely possible.
Working with seniors requires patience, understanding and compassion. Compassion is of utmost importance in a seniors life as they continue to age and their body or mental function changes. Compassion requires that we be empathetic and ask questions to help understand their individual wants and needs. Compassion is more about finding ways to be supportive rather than being intrusive.
What is best for a senior is not always what the senior wants or is willing to accept. Until they reach a point where their cognitive function is impaired and safety becomes an issue they are considered independent adults and capable of making their own decisions. At what point would you or I want someone else to step in and make life changing decisions?
Unfortunately stress of the family dynamics and related ongoing issues as well as major move and life change have increased the symptoms of dad's dementia. Operating the TV is a struggle for him, finding his way around the apartment is challenging at times as well. He is getting more and more confused and having dreams that he is unable to separate from reality once awake. His balance this past week became progressively worse over the period of a few days, hand eye coordination was affected and he was becoming increasingly delusional.
I quickly came to the conclusion that dad needed more help than I could provide. Even if I could be there all day I couldn't safely help him move about and don't have the knowledge needed to best deal with all his ongoing and new symptoms so I called an ambulance. Before I made the call I talked to dad about going to the hospital first. It wasn't about giving him a choice but rather some consideration and time for him to process going to the hospital.
I've always been able to juggle as needed whatever life throws at me. Kung Fu has helped me to develop greater awareness and logical or reasonable control as opposed to arbitrary control. I'm learning to be less reactive and think more in terms of responsive. I juggle balls as needed. The difference now is that I am better able to purposely set balls aside rather than drop them. Dropping does still happen, but I stop for a moment and reset. I also ask myself why? What did I learn and what can I adjust?
Every day, every life event and every challenge becomes a catalyst for growth and change. Through all the ups and downs this year I have been provided with multiple opportunities to learn more about the person I am and the direction I want to take. I am moving forward in a way that supports myself and others around me.
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