Mending a Relationship

As I thought about my week and started to write this blog I wasn’t sure how it was going to fit into my Kung Fu. Then suddenly with minimal effort it fit perfectly. I realized some of the issues I've been experiencing lately are about relationships and mending the relationship I have with others and myself. Mending a relationship just happens to be one of our team requirements and can be relatively simple or complex depending on the situation. Some of us shy away from this requirement as it can be uncomfortable and challenging. I know there have been past IHC years that have gone by without much effort on my part towards fulfilling this requirement.

In more recent years I have done some work on this requirement and have discovered it is not just about a desired result, it is about the effort and journey towards a desired outcome and the resulting internal growth. While I don't have control over others, I can develop self awareness and self control when it comes to my thoughts, my words and actions. I also know that my efforts need to come from a place of love and compassion towards myself and towards others.

“What we see in others is often a reflection of ourselves.” I know this statement to be true and yet I still find myself occasionally overlooking those life lessons that I’m presented with, which is why they repeat themselves in some form or another. During times of high stress I typically retreat inwards and am less aware and unable to recognize or accept what I see in the mirror. As a result there has been repetitive lessons thrown my way over the past few months.

There are 2 people in my life that I am finding challenging and difficult to be around lately. I could choose to limit my interactions or even remove both individuals from my life. This action would lesson some of the associated stress, but wouldn’t address any underlying issues and life lessons and I would be caught up in a never ending loop of negativity and disfunction.

With a bit of help from a close friend this weekend these lessons became very clear. The lessons I have been presented with are about respect, not making assumptions, focus and effective listening and communication. Some big lessons learned and aha moments. Now that the awareness is there I can be more mindful of my thoughts and actions and take ownership of the role I play. Willingness to work on the lessons provided will help me to improve my relationships with others and build a better relationship with myself.

Another big piece to this is taking ownership of the part I play without letting it consume me. I am often very hard on myself and it can be very easy to beat myself up when mistakes are made. As per Mastery by Stuart Emery: You must be able to correct yourself without invalidating or condemning yourself, to accept results and improve upon them. Correct, don't protect! Practicing forgiveness towards myself and others will help to facilitate healing and love. In doing this I am strengthening relationships with others and building a stronger relationship with myself.

The reflection of ourselves that we see in others can be very positive as well. All the great qualities that I recognize in other people are also a mirror of who I am as a person and show up to help reinforce my potential and my greatness. I've seen this quite a bit. Greatness is in everyone of us. It just needs to be recognized and tapped into. I don't think of greatness as being boastful, I view it as being humble and best friends with mastery!