It's been a tough week for me. There is a lot going on in my head and that's not usually a good thing. I should feel good about keeping up with my daily physical routine, but I know that it is not enough. There is still much more that I need to be doing. Plus the constant pressure of performing in front of others is taking it's toll. I was just starting to get used to going through my form in front of others and the anxiety and fear had lessened somewhat. Yay! Now we have a demo to work on. Instead of feeling relief after our last formal class, there was just this huge overwhelming feeling of: too much, too fast! I felt panicked, and almost physically sick. I actually had myself convinced that I needed to opt out of the demo.
Fast forward a couple of days and I'm feeling slightly better. I'm not sure what my decision is going to be, as far as the demo is concerned and I probably won't know until Friday night. I have been working on my combination this past week so I will be prepared either way.
The next couple of months will be busy with my son soccer schedule added into our regular routine. I also have doctors appointments scheduled and a biopsy some where in the near future. I am also testing for my orange belt this week or next week. Feels like a huge emotional roller coaster.
Come Monday, I need to get back on track. With a brand new week staring tomorrow I plan to improve my eating habits (not so good the past couple of weeks) and add more into my daily routine that points me in the direction of my goals. A little less lazy time will help me to be more productive and feel better about where I'm at.
Numbers this week Total to date
sit ups 1100 12290
push ups 725 7110
walking 19k 377k
kempo 11 90
nunchuks 12 186
Aok's 10 96
Bye for now, Michele
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It can be pretty overwhelming. Sounds like your first year is going a lot like mine did at first. Just remember to take it easy on yourself. If you need to chat, let me know.
ReplyDeleteYes, as Ms. Gibbons said, give yourself some grace. This challenge is not meant to be easy. We learn a lot about our selves through this, we set new limits that we are not accustomed to...it sometimes takes a bit to find a rhythm. Hang in there and it will all come together. Took a look back in your journal to affirm to yourself the amazing accomplishment that you've already completed. As far as the demo, we all feel anxiety...gaining confidence through practice is what settles me down. Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Sifu Regier! You have amazing accomplishments this far! I know you pretty well and as soon as you get out there it will melt away! Hold your head high! And yah for your orange belt! I very much look forward to being in the same class again!!
ReplyDeleteRemember to not always look ahead to where you want to be. Glance backward once in a while to remind yourself from whence you come. That awareness alone can be a huge motivator to help you stay the course. Above all, stay in the moment and enjoy it before it is gone. Your journey is extraordinary, savour it.
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