Climbing the Mountain

The feeling of great accomplishment comes from not just climbing the mountain, but also from over coming obstacles that we encounter along the way. The more difficult the journey, the greater the feeling of accomplishment is. When I first started my climb there were huge boulders that I needed to navigate through in order to even find the path to start my journey. The path was not always clearly marked in the beginning, But I forged ahead anyways. There have been times when the path has turned and twisted and sometimes I have lost my way. When I loose my way I tend to hide in a cave & contemplate why I'm on this mountain and what I'm doing. And while I'm in that dark lonely place I continue with the sit ups and push ups because there is purpose and routine in doing them. Sometimes this is the only thing that keeps some forward motion going. Even when I venture back outside there is still occasionally a cloud hanging over my head as I continue on. Sooner than later a gentle breeze chases that cloud away and sunshine, blue skies, meadows and the sounds of nature come into focus. Awareness is heightened and effort becomes effortless once more.

I've reached many beautiful lookout points, where my mind is clear, thoughts flow freely, and everything comes into focus. As I gaze upon the vistas before me, understanding and a feeling of being connected to all is strong.  And those thoughts and feelings stay with me as I continue up the mountain. As I discover new ways of living and being, I struggle with incorporating them into everyday life. I have gained vast knowledge and understanding on this journey but I am finding that old habits are hard to break.

I'm not really sure where I'm at on the mountain right now, but I do know that I have reached greater heights than I ever thought possible. The slippery slopes are becoming fewer and farther between. I've learned how important it is to believe in yourself. (Still working on that) Perseverance, commitment and physical endurance are also needed.  Practising mindfulness, awareness, and the ability to adapt as new situations and challenges arise are necessary as well.  Knowing when to stop and rest, taking the time to appreciate my surroundings and being able to look back at how far up the mountain my journey has taken me fills me with gratitude for all that has been and all that is still to come.

I recently stepped back into that dark cave. After a couple of days I ventured out, but I can't seem to get rid of this cloud hanging above my head. I wasn't able to journal earlier this week and am finally doing so now. Thankfully a tiny little seed planted itself in my brain. Unfortunately I find myself very much dependent on sunshine, meadows, and songbirds playing gently in my ear for things to be right in my world. The ego can helpful at times or crippling. Hopefully this journal entry is the catalyst needed for that cloud to dissipate.

Michele Ward