Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

I consciously try to not take anything for granted. When I stop to consider every person, place, thing or event that is part of my life, it is easy to feel gratitude for all the gifts that I have been blessed with. Being thankful and having the ability to also appreciate the not so great events in our lives can be very challenging at times. I firmly believe that those negative events ripple out and contain positive energy and outcomes. The positive is there; we simply need to see, feel and be open to the possibilities. Changing the way we think and seeing beyond the obvious can be very challenging, but is so much more rewarding than the alternative. Seeing past the pain, distress of the moment allows us to be mindful and aware of the hidden opportunities and gifts within.

My youngest son Logan is a great example of this. My husband and I had thought and planned to be done at 2 children. An unexpected pregnancy and loosing the baby at just over 4 months into the pregnancy was devastating to both of us.  I remember questioning "why has this happened?" and "what is the purpose?" After some time spent processing we became open to the idea and realised that we both wanted another child.  Logan would not be here today if that tragic event had not occurred first.

I am grateful for everything, every person, place and event in my life. I am especially grateful for my children. They are all special and unique in their own way and I am blessed to have been gifted with each one of them.

Michele Ward

For Better or Worse

Here's a little background first. 8 years ago my husband at the time was given a choice to smoke some crack with a buddy of his and he did not choose wisely. 8 years ago he became a crack addict. When he made that initial decision, he chose the drug over his family. This was his life experience and his path to take. And with the ripple effect it also became the path and experience of those around him for better or worse. It did not matter how hard we all tried to help, he didn't think that he needed any help or that he had a problem. Try to explain that to a 6, 14, and 18 year old.

 After about 4 years of no fixed address and very little contact with family or friends he reluctantly accepted help and went into a rehab program. After getting help he moved to Red Deer where his dad lived and started to rebuild his life. I believe that he had suffered from undiagnosed and untreated depression for a long period of time and still does. His mentality and lifestyle is that of about a 23 year old in a lot of respects. Now he has simply traded the crack for alcohol and pot.

There is a great person underneath all that baggage that he carries around and I know that he loves his children dearly, but at the same time he chooses not to be involved in their lives regularly. Even though we may not see or hear from him for up to 6 months at a time, I am always open to him coming and staying with us so that the kids can continue a relationship with him and it can be done in a safe and healthy environment.

I have learned more about drug use and addictions than I ever thought I would know or wanted to know. I have also learned how closely depression and mental illness can be tied in with addictions.

This past weekend was one of celebration and new beginnings. My daughter and her fiance` were married in their new home on Saturday with a small gathering of family to share in their special day. We celebrated the day with an early thanksgiving dinner that also included my ex husband. I am grateful that my oldest son was able to get his dad to come with him from Red Deer to attend the wedding. As trying as it can be to have him around in my space, it also gives me the opportunity to practise patience, awareness and understanding.

It can be difficult to let go of hurt, disappointment, and anger, but when I look at all of the successes and the positives that have come about for myself and for my children, I am reminded to trust in the journey.


Numbers

sit ups                 890 (35,010)    
push ups             930 (25,875)
walking              27k (1024.9)
sparring              0     (156)
kempo                3     (215)
nunchuks           10    (431)
Aok's                 34    (697)

Michele Ward