The Imaginary Ball

 

Intent is a tough one and although I believe that I have a pretty good grasp of it's concepts and meaning I struggle with applying intent as needed in any given moment.

I learned something new with regards to how intent can be successful or not work as intended while working on a sticky section in Lao Gar a few days ago. The ball throw in part III had been giving me some trouble. I felt that the timing was off and my harmonies were not working together.  It also wasn't a move that felt very powerful. Sifu Ward took a look and offered me a few suggestions. Firstly, he told me I needed to be aware of the shape of my ball as it was increasing in size as it came around. We also talked about intent and being aware of catching the ball, bringing it around and tracking it with my eyes before throwing it out. I had listened intently and tried to apply all the information that he provided. 

For the first go round I managed to keep the ball in a somewhat consistent size and shape. The next few reps where spent trying to track the ball which didn't go quite as smoothly. It seemed that my eyes wanted to lead the ball. When I slowed down and let the ball lead, my eyes stopped at the top and waited for the ball to finish it's circle. Who would have thought that some simple instruction could be so complicated? At some point Sifu Ward had pointed out that I need to visualize an actual ball in my hands. That became my intent as I worked through some more reps. Visualize a ball! Visualize a ball! I've got this. Should be simple enough. Oh, poor Sifu Ward, at least these are learning opportunities for him as well.

I remember saying to him,  "I am visualizing a ball" and he'd respond, "no you are not". How could I not be visualizing a ball when that is exactly what I was thinking of doing?  Back to the drawing board. Eventually, as he was walking away I decided to stand in place and just focus on the movements of the "ball" and tracking with my eyes.  It finally felt better and at that moment he turned around and said "yes, that's it, you're visualizing a ball!" Well duh! Of course that is what I am doing and what I thought I had been doing all along, but yet this time was different. Why was that?

My intent had always been to visualize the ball and yet something had gotten in the way of that happening at first. As I thought about what had changed I realized that by not moving my feet I was able to focus my intent on the imaginary ball. The other distractions dropped away and allowed my true intent to come to the surface.  Those first few reps at the beginning, my intent had actually been on my hands instead of an imaginary ball. At the time I didn't realize that I had been focusing more on my hands than on the ball. And yes, that made all the difference.

In the end there was a fair bit of laughter on both our parts, and I learned much more than just how to track an imaginary ball. 

Namaste!

Rinse and Repeat!

The whole idea of "rinse and repeat" has never been high on my list. Repetition continued over long periods of time is a sure fire way for me to loose interest and motivation. Knowing the purpose and understanding the benefits can be helpful in the beginning, but not usually sustainable for me. That being said, I do find push ups and sit ups sustainable as they can be broken up through out the day and take relatively little time to do. They can be mindful or mindless depending on my intent and need at the time. I am also able to focus on different variations of each for additional benefits, while working on my technique.

Repetition regarding my physio exercises are completely different and require a different way of thinking and adjustments. I have been dealing with chronic knee issues for a number of years now and have been seeing a physiotherapist regularly since July, 2020. At the start there were a few exercises to complete each day with only a small time commitment. Slowly over time more exercises and stretches have been added. I had faithfully been doing the exercises 5 - 7 days per week. 

The biggest improvement has been that my left knee rarely buckles on me now. Big plus! There has also been some improvement in strength and flexibility when the therapist tests these areas.  The right knee is stronger but has less stability than the left knee. However I am not feeling any great improvement when doing my Kung Fu training. The training that we do puts a lot of strain on the knees, so some things I need to modify and I also have to be careful of too much repetition as this can cause issues. I mostly train now wearing shoes with my orthotics in to help with arch support and lessen the impact of my training. Every so often I still do some bare foot training as this helps me with feeling the transitions and it is just easier to move more smoothly.

In the past 2-3 weeks I have mostly stopped doing all the physio exercises. I know that I had come to dislike and thus avoided them. Way too much repetition, time suck and too few results. I had also not seen the physiotherapist since November. Due to a recent sharp pain in my left knee last week, I decided it was time to revisit physio. So I saw her just a few days ago and guess what, she gave me a few more exercises. Nothing torn though, so that is good! I discussed with her how often the exercises should be done for best results. I was hoping for an answer that would allow maybe 3 days a week, but instead got 5-7 days a week and twice a day for optimal results. Oh boy!

Something different has to happen to make this doable and sustainable. After talking with Logan, I have a plan. He had suggested listening to podcasts or audio books while working through the exercises. This is something that I can get on board with and feel like I am accomplishing more even if it is not about my knees in the immediate future. If anyone has podcasts they would like to recommend or audio books to share please send me a message or comment.

Namaste!

 

Be Water, My Friend

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

- Bruce Lee

I love the above quote. There is so much depth in it's content. I find that when I am having a difficult day it is helpful to say to myself "be like water". I see this as a reminder to soften the mind and be gentle with myself and others. Embrace gratitude for all that is given and taught. Learn to explore and flow with ease while enjoying the moment. Be resilient and allow myself to adapt and change fluidly. 

This past week has continued to be challenging. I remember reading Mr. Bauer's blog about meditation a few days ago. There were some great insights and content, but I remember thinking "meditation is not going to help improve my mood!" And yet, as I thought about this some more, I have come to realize that an accumulative approach is what is going to make the difference. So even though I won't necessarily feel great after one meditation, I will feel better and better through daily meditation. Repetition and consistency is the key towards being successful in most of what we do in life.

Everything that we do is a step forward along as we learn from it and don't give up. How often have you thought about quitting, giving up or giving in? I know that this is a thought that has crossed my mind from time to time, especially when stress and anxiety has me feeling overwhelmed and I start to question why am I doing this to myself. I think that when this happens we all need to ask ourselves "what would quitting or giving up mean?" "What do I stand to loose when quitting/giving up?" "What would others stand to loose and am I ok with the associated missed opportunities?"

Most of us have developed the ability to look for and see the positive in our struggles. This ability to reflect and discover the gifts we have been given as a result of our struggles are important to our growth as martial artists and as human beings. But, I also think that it is important to be able to share how we are doing on a deeper level that sometimes can be raw and may not in the moment feel like a gift. Too often we only see the surface struggles and are trying to put on a happy face for others around us. Sometimes the positive for ourselves and others comes later and through sharing. Struggling by yourself doesn't help you and it won't help others either.  Can we truly have compassion and empathy for others if we are not sharing on a deeper level? Sorry, many questions that I don't have all he answers for. Just some thoughts.

Namaste!

One Step at a Time!

 

My state of mind this week has not been the greatest. All week I have been in a funk. It all starts with one not so little thing and then other smaller particles are drawn in creating a funk that can be hard to get rid of. The crazy thing is that the smaller particles are often not even real, but are created by stress that contributes to unhealthy perceptions. 

Over the years many students have stated how their Kung Fu training has helped to get them through some of life's challenges and mental fatigue.  Given how I've been feeling this week, I know this to be true and am very grateful for the training that I have been able to consistently do every day. If Kung Fu and the I Ho Chuan team was not part of my life there probably would have been more moments and days with little to no motivation and much mediocrity.  

What is it about Kung Fu and the team environment that helps so much and why?

As Master Brinker always states, "it only takes 10 minutes per day"! Simply put, it is all about engagement! And engagement often brings a friend along called motivation. And motivation can move mountains! Add in a team environment like the I Ho Chuan and the benefits are 10 fold or 100 fold. The sky's the limit! Because, in addition to engagement and motivation, there is also accountability and support. The benefits are numerous! We also always have a great diverse group of individuals on the team, each contributing in their own way, creating an amazing energy to be shared and absorbed. It is this energy that fluctuates and builds from one year to the next.

In addition to all the above benefits I also find Kung Fu to be meditative at times. And I am not just talking about Tai Chi. Mindful repetition of forms and applications provides me with a physical outlet while pushing aside worries and problems during those training moments.

In an effort towards accountability here are my numbers which also help to remind me what I have accomplished so far and where I need to push myself.

Numbers: February 12 - March 11

Push ups - 3300

Sit ups - 3430

AOK's - 114

Lao Gar - 112

Shoto - 132

Sparring - 25

KM - 78

Mastery - reading every morning

Blogging - On track

Organize, lead SRKF projects - on track

Namaste

 

Visiting the Rabbit Hole. Again!

Questions can be tricky and lead you to unexpected places.

The answer to a question I had asked in Monday's class has led me down the rabbit hole. Again. Now, sometimes the rabbit hole can take a fair bit of time to climb back out of, but I feel that I am getting better at recognizing when this is happening and applying some brakes. These journeys have provided some great insights and discoveries along the way. I just have to apply a bit of self control and know when to climb back out and when to delve a bit deeper.

After numerous repetitions of the technique we were working on and making corrections as they were pointed out to the class, I had what I thought was a little aha moment. The technique was starting to feel pretty good with what I thought was a correct discovery, but I wanted to make sure that I was on the right path in my thinking and execution. 

I am at a point in my training where I genuinely want to know the answer and if necessary make a course correction based on the question asked and the answer provided. An aha moment is no good if it is incorrect and left alone to develop bad habits. I've had a few of these over the years that could have steered me off course if I hadn't asked the question.

My questions are not always posed in the best way possible. This is something that I am working on and developing when and how to ask good questions. Even though my thinking was not right during Monday's class, I am happy with the answer given as it provided me guidance and a better understanding of where my initial intent should be, and of the technique and its possibilities. 

Technique:

Left lead, guards up, project and penetrate with the right hand

Question asked:

Would I be correct in thinking that the left hand is moving out of the way to allow for the penetrating strike/block? And then the left hand also has the added bonus of being able to provide a block as needed?

Thoughts:

Technique - If I think about moving the left hand out of the way, I still feel that my intent is on the penetrating hand with an awareness of the left hand. 

Observations through repetition 

• When focusing on penetration as the intent, I feel my body moving slightly to the side to partially slip past the left hand. Hmmm....
• When thinking about moving the left hand creating space for the penetration, my trajectory is more straight forward. Hmmm....

Intent vs awareness in Kung Fu - similarities and differences between the two?

Specific focus - So if my intent is on the penetration and not the other hand, I see this as narrowing my focus. Yet at the same time I know there has to be a certain level of awareness to keep my options open and have the ability to broaden my focus and adjust my intent.

On a deeper level I see aspects of specific focus and broader focus are co-existing at the same time, thus allowing intent to adapt and change as needed. 

Namaste

Back to the Kwoon, Yay! Right??

 Prior to the Pandemic, I was working a full time job in the travel industry as well as a part time job. My day to day life was busy, yet manageable. I had also started attending evening classes and was adjusting to being on the mats with a larger class and students that I wasn't familiar with. Just stepping out onto the mats can cause me anxiety, so it took some time to feel comfortable and feel like I was making progress with my training. As I write this some of those same familiar feelings are surfacing. The more I do something, the easier it gets, even if the anxiety doesn't completely go away.  

As an introvert who deals with anxiety on a daily basis, I have been quite happy to spend more time at home in my bubble for the past year. Work as you can guess is not nearly as busy. Do I miss seeing family, friends and fellow team mates? Absolutely! But, the more comfortable I get in my bubble, the harder it is to step outside again. And I know that because of this, it is even more important to constantly challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone. 

I know that the majority of students are excited to be training in person again even with the extra protocols and adjustments to follow. It is great to see things opening up more and I just hope that it is not too soon. I am happy for those of you that are excited to be back at the Kwoon, training in person. For myself, I feel as if a lot of what I'd gained prior to the lockdown in terms of my anxiety and stepping onto the mats has been lost and I am having to start over. In other areas I feel that I have discovered some great insights and am developing an increased awareness when it comes to my Kung Fu training.

 Whether or not to attend classes in person starting Monday has not been an easy decision. At first it was a definite"no"! Then there was a brief "maybe", back to "no" and then a "well... possibly" and finally a "no".  So, I have decided to attend classes virtually the first week to get a better sense of what to expect and then hopefully twist my own arm and be back with everyone on the mats as I know the importance of not allowing myself to get too comfortable.

Change is inevitable and with change comes adjustments and opportunities.  

Namaste