Prior to the Pandemic, I was working a full time job in the travel industry as well as a part time job. My day to day life was busy, yet manageable. I had also started attending evening classes and was adjusting to being on the mats with a larger class and students that I wasn't familiar with. Just stepping out onto the mats can cause me anxiety, so it took some time to feel comfortable and feel like I was making progress with my training. As I write this some of those same familiar feelings are surfacing. The more I do something, the easier it gets, even if the anxiety doesn't completely go away.
As an introvert who deals with anxiety on a daily basis, I have been quite happy to spend more time at home in my bubble for the past year. Work as you can guess is not nearly as busy. Do I miss seeing family, friends and fellow team mates? Absolutely! But, the more comfortable I get in my bubble, the harder it is to step outside again. And I know that because of this, it is even more important to constantly challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone.
I know that the majority of students are excited to be training in person again even with the extra protocols and adjustments to follow. It is great to see things opening up more and I just hope that it is not too soon. I am happy for those of you that are excited to be back at the Kwoon, training in person. For myself, I feel as if a lot of what I'd gained prior to the lockdown in terms of my anxiety and stepping onto the mats has been lost and I am having to start over. In other areas I feel that I have discovered some great insights and am developing an increased awareness when it comes to my Kung Fu training.
Whether or not to attend classes in person starting Monday has not been an easy decision. At first it was a definite"no"! Then there was a brief "maybe", back to "no" and then a "well... possibly" and finally a "no". So, I have decided to attend classes virtually the first week to get a better sense of what to expect and then hopefully twist my own arm and be back with everyone on the mats as I know the importance of not allowing myself to get too comfortable.
Change is inevitable and with change comes adjustments and opportunities.
Namaste
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