The week had almost finished and here it was now Saturday and I really had very little idea as to what I was going to blog about. I even considered using the day as a partial rest day. It's funny how we can tell ourselves before the day is even done that we want a rest even if it is not needed. I took an hour or so to walk the dog and enjoy the weather and then realized that I still had time and energy left to train. So I did. That training led to some reflections and self realizations as well as new discoveries. And of course content for a blog.
There was a time not to long ago where I lost some motivation due to the lack of aha moments in my training. These aha's usually happen fairly frequently for me, so after a period of 3 weeks or more with nothing new being discovered I found myself a bit lost and uninspired. Just going through the motions is not a great feeling. I have since learned to just push through these "dry spells' and take the time to work on areas that are needing extra attention. Sometime it can simply be a matter of focusing on my breathing while going through a form or focusing on a specific section.
I happy to report those aha moments and little discoveries are back. I will always be drawn to the bright new shiny pennies of discovery, but am learning to appreciate and understand the value of patience and the art of creating a well worn artifact full of stories and wisdom. Even those bright shiny pennies eventually become worn and full of stories to tell. Firstly though they need to be discovered and then applied. There may come a time when the discoveries and aha moments come less frequently and I need to be able to continue developing my art with intent and enjoyment. The "dry spells" give me time and space to refine and embrace the art of Kung Fu.
This brings me to where I am at with both my weapon form and my hand form:
Weapon Form - Shoto
I had been starting to feel a bit disconnected with the Shoto recently. I know the form and I feel that my stances are pretty good (always room for improvement though). However, flow within the form needs some work and developing a connection with the weapon while having control. There are times when I feel the shoto and I are separate entities not in sync.
I've been working on bringing the weapon in a bit closer to my body which seems to help and also imagining the shoto as an extension of my arm. This works best when I am aware the shoto is in my hand and what it is doing, but being more focused on the hand itself rather than the weapon. I find that this helps to connect the two and helps with the flow.
A shorter and seemingly easy form can be deceptive and actually much more complex. Of course all forms contain a unending amount of detail and complexities that the untrained eye is unaware of. This is one of the reasons that I love forms so much. Never ending learning and discoveries!
Hand Form - Lao Gar
I'm feeling pretty good about where I am currently at with Lao Gar, but I know I'll be working on this form until the end of time. There is so much complexity in this form that 1000 reps will barely scratch the surface. The ball throw again is giving me trouble. Just for different reasons. I have been having difficulty with keeping my centre along with the contractions and expansions in this sequence. There is so much going on there. Good thing for One on Ones as Master Brinker was able to help me out with this. Now I need to apply the knowledge. I am finding that knowing and doing are very different.
Sticky parts of forms can create hours and hours of extra training for me. I am like a dog with a bone that won't give it up. After a few days of repetitive ball throws and not seeing much improvement I decided to trust that it will come as intended. I have the knowledge and the ability. I am now feeling more at ease and I have learned form past experience that as long as I give it some extra attention, use what I know to be true and keep working on the problem section, all will be resolved. Happy to say that the ball throw is starting to improve and I am getting closer to that feeling of ease and flow!
A few weeks ago Master Brinker mentioned a high back stance in Lao Gar I. I was a bit confused at the time as I was doing a cat stance. Did this mean that I had been in the wrong stance all this time? So I asked the question and it was explained as a bit of a hybrid of the two stances. Hmmm..., ok. There was a bit more to the explanation which I am still processing. In the meantime I took a look at that section of the form and just wasn't seeing or feeling the high back stance. So, again I'm just going to trust the process and file the information towards the front of my brain to access as needed. Fast forward to this week and all of a sudden I am getting the smallest sense of a variation of a high back stance in Lao Gar I. And on Saturday while doing my reps it was stronger. I isolated the relevant section and yes, I could see and feel a slight difference. I am still processing what is going on with this but I feel that the "hybrid high back stance" provides a bit more distance between me and my imaginary opponent as opposed to using a traditional cat stance. Hopefully I'm on the right track.
I think that my biggest takeaways are to be patient with myself and trust the process, trust myself and value the evolving art of Kung Fu.
"I am a blue belt in Lu Ping An Chuan Fa at Silent River Kung Fu." This is what I say to myself every morning. I also remind myself of this when ever I train and have recently started saying "I am a brown belt in Lu Ping An Chuan Fa" to help create that mindset and push myself farther.
Namaste!
