This Will Pass

Every one has a breaking point and triggers that can affect their mental state. Lately I  have been struggling and realized a few days ago that I am mildly depressed. This has been building over time due to different factors. While anxiety has always been present, depression is less common for me, but does happen occasionally. 

I have been frequently tired for the past couple of months, but still managed to push myself and stay engaged until recently. The biggest hurdle currently has been a lack of motivation over the past 2 weeks and I am finding it difficult to keep up with all my requirements. 

I also recently discovered an issue with my neck caused by some severe muscle tightness on the right side of the neck, shoulder and upper back. This is causing my neck and head to noticeably pull to the right side and cause headaches daily which doesn't help with training or mental state.

The ability to self reflect and recognize when something is wrong is important in order to take the necessary steps towards feeling better. Self care is extremely important especially even if you don't notice any immediate benefits. The benefits are still there and are quietly building under the surface.  A friend reminded me of this yesterday and it was a good gentle poke while we were out for an beautiful fall evening walk together. 

I need to remind myself daily to take some extra time for myself and go for a walk, spend time in nature, make healthy food choices, practice positive affirmations and have gratitude for everything in my life. Developing some consistency along the way.

This will pass and I will be stronger for the insights and lessons learned.

Namaste everyone!

August Numbers

Updated numbers as of August 31st

No quitting ✔ 

Push ups 28291

Sit ups 29230

Lau Gar 851

Shoto 839

Sparring 137 X not on track

Kilometres 404 X not on track

Acts of Kindness 695

Mend a Relationship ✔

Journal min 1x week ✔

Featured Journal Posts ✔

Online Presence ✔

Tiger Challenge - ✔

Zero Unexcused Absences ✔ 

Excel in Curriculum - Instructors would need to judge

SRKF Projects - 2 projects, SRKF Virtual Auction & Livestream Table of Contents, Reno/engagement week

Mastery - Reading most days and starting to memorize

4 extra days with little activity in addition to weekly rest days.

Boot Camp

 

Kung Fu has taught me to embrace opportunity and step out of my comfort zone on a regular basis. Boot Camp was a perfect example of this. I hadn't planned on signing up when it was announced. There were some valid reasons and also excuses. 

I want to live life without regrets and not allow anxiety to rule my life. I feel that I have less control over the anxiety, but I do have control over the choices I make and the opportunities I say yes to.

Boot camp was a great experience! The meditation and the wrist lock sequence provided some insights and were a great way to start the day. And although the fight choreography was intimidating at first, it ended up being fun and was great to see what the other groups put together. The leadership seminar was a perfect addition during lunch. 

I found myself recognizing mini opportunities through out the day. Like drumming for instance. I was happy to just bang away on my flower pot. I am not musically inclined at all. The 3 star pattern was a challenge. I eventually started to get the hang of it though. Then opportunity tapped me on the shoulder,  saying "go try the big drum". Yes, no, was the battle inside my head. Yes won because I recognized it as an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and I didn't want to have any regrets later.

The fitness test if my nemesis and even though there were times when I thought to myself "I could just pass on this section", there I go just jumping in and doing what I can. The shuttle and relay are my least favorite and it was very tempting to pass on them. By the time we were ready for the 2 km run, I am sure most of us were exhausted. I remember telling myself "I'm just going to walk this".  Instead, I pushed myself and ran/jogged sections. Each time I thought I couldn't do anymore, I dug deeper and attempted some semblance of a jog.

All in all a great experience!

Namaste everyone!

To Share or Not

I hadn't planned on sharing this, but changed my mind after a conversation with Sifu Rybak. 

I've been noticing for a while now that my horse stance deepens on its own at times. This is not a conscious effort of needing to lower, it happens naturally. Standing in a horse stance during a warm up for instance is where I first felt this happen. Especially with the punches, instead of my legs feeling fatigued and raising, I feel my body sinking lower and lower on its own accord. A very interesting and cool sensation. A move from dynamic correction, where in the moment I am aware of needed corrections and make the adjustments, to having my body naturally take over. I have also started to experience this while doing my forms. Although, not as noticeable yet because the transitions are occurring so quickly, but definitely happening.

Was I behind and just now catching up? Am I cruising ahead? Or right where I should be for my belt level? Does it even matter? It really shouldn't as long as I am applying myself. I do wonder sometimes though if others are experiencing similar things.

It is important to share because this is part of my journey. There is a sense of beginning to feel more and more comfortable about where I am at in my training. Building self confidence and trusting myself has also been increasing. The dots are connecting and I am beginning to feel better about my abilities which also builds confidence in other areas of my life.

What is everyone else discovering in their training? 

Namaste everyone!

Unintentional Pause

This past week I found it challenging to keep up with push ups, sit ups and forms reps. As much as I enjoy engaging and being part of the reno/maintenance week, it can be difficult to fit everything in. Especially with an added new job thrown in. I know that I could have pushed myself harder, but quality and mindfulness would have suffered. Maybe this is one of those times where the extra reps from previous months come in handy and having my focus engaged in other areas is ok. 

Camping with family and friends on the long weekend was a bonus this week. A much needed and great way to finish off the summer. When I think about where my priorities have been this past week and why, I am content with my decisions and what has or has not been accomplished. I am confident in my ability to pick up where I left off and continue moving forward.

Interesting that I don't see this as a needed reset. Instead of thinking about where my numbers could of been, I am grateful for the opportunities provided. Tuesday will be a continuation of a well developed routine allowing me to pick up where I left off.

Namaste everyone!