The first couple of months my efforts towards mastery were very apparent. I was able to get the team requirements done with daily bonus reps built in. I was logging everything. I was blogging. My numbers were great for a full 2 months. The additional training that I was doing to prepare myself and work towards earning my black belt quickly hit a snag though. I soon realized that my knees were not going to be able to keep up with the number of reps I had planned for all of the different forms. I reduced the number of daily reps and found they were still not cooperating. Just doing my IHC hand form is a struggle most days so I have to space out the reps through the day.
As stress started to increase and worry as our dog's health declined, I felt my attention and energy pulling away from training. I am now in a suspended state of grief. Grief over the loss of our dog and I have yet to embrace that grief. Instead I thought I could push it down and carry on with my busy life. There just never seems to be the right time or enough time to allow myself to grieve. I knew grieving was going to be an issue. I was fearful of letting go and sinking into that grief. Afraid of the depths of that grief and so mostly avoiding it all together.
Shortly after our dog passed my dad's health took a turn. We are now dealing with him not being able to drive any longer, a difficult family dynamic and his current living situation. And when I factor in the discouragement I feel when it comes to my reduced ability to train along with the rest of life's normal stressors, mediocrity has inserted its way into my life.
On one hand there is some mediocrity in my life and on the other hand mastery is still a component as well. They are not in battle with each other but rather mastery is feeding off of mediocrity. Mediocrity is helping me to progress in my efforts towards mastery. With everything that is going on I am still able to recognize areas to tackle and continue adding more mastery into my life.
I am not hiding under a rock or burying my head in the sand even though it sometimes feels like it. Mastery may not be as apparent as it was in those first 2 months. Not everything is always bright and shiny shouting "Look at me!" Those first 2 months were full of gold stars and I was a different person then. With help I'm learning to recognize and appreciate the value of the not so bright and shiny moments.
My concept and understanding of mastery is evolving. Mastery isn't necessarily a box to check or a gold star to receive. Mastery is no one thing. Mastery is living life intentionally with a higher awareness of self and others that helps to drive more mindful and conscious thoughts and actions.
When I look beyond the bright shiny moments from February and March and see what is in place underneath, I see components of mastery. These components of mastery have endured throughout the stressful and difficult times. In addition I've been able to continue to make adjustments and make further progress towards mastery. I take advantage of the good days and do more if I'm able. And even the not so good days have a good base to operate from.
My mastery in progress
I am 2 weeks into a detox/cleansing diet to detoxify and further build healthy eating habits. I started this during what I knew was a very stressful time because I knew the benefits would eventually help with the stress and overall health.
I recite mastery each morning while also working on my horse stance. There are still some memory issues with the last paragraph. Almost there. I practice keeping my feet straight, opening my hips more and getting lower as I recite each paragraph.
I do my knee stretches and exercises each morning for 45 minutes. As I do these I focus on things like breathing, engaging my core muscles and being grounded. I also work on contraction and expansion and control.
I listen to those voices that speak to me when I'm having a good day. And by listening I've been inspired to put together a challenge for the whole school and am hoping to get the whole team involved to help with the project. Details to come.
My knees are making it difficult to train the way I had planned so I am learning to adapt and looking for ways to adapt my kung fu training. Helping out at the beginner teen adult class has been a way to step out of my comfort zone, increase confidence and develop some teaching skills.
It can be all too easy to focus on the stuff that isn't getting done. Mastery can still take place while mediocrity is at your door. Don't let mediocrity discourage you.
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