Moving Forward

It is amazing how things can change so quickly. We had successfully moved dad into his new apartment on November 12th. Safety and accessibility to family, socialization and independence were all determining factors in getting him out of his acreage and into his own place. Dad has been enjoying his apartment and having a safe space that also provides a warm welcoming community.  At the same time it has been a major life change which adds different stressors when dealing with dementia. 

Having dad right in Stony Plain and close to us has been wonderful. I have been able to spend time with him every day helping him adjust to his new apartment. Simple things like operating the TV or microwave has become challenging for dad. Home Care had started to come in twice a day for medication assist and showering. Remaining independent as long as possible is important to dad and because that is what he wants for himself I am here to support him for as long as safely possible.

Working with seniors requires patience, understanding and compassion. Compassion is of utmost importance in a seniors life as they continue to age and their body or mental function changes. Compassion requires that we be empathetic and ask questions to help understand their individual wants and needs. Compassion is more about finding ways to be supportive rather than being intrusive.  

What is best for a senior is not always what the senior wants or is willing to accept. Until they reach a point where their cognitive function is impaired and safety becomes an issue they are considered independent adults and capable of making their own decisions. At what point would you or I want someone else to step in and make life changing decisions?

Unfortunately stress of the family dynamics and related ongoing issues as well as major move and life change have increased the symptoms of dad's dementia. Operating the TV is a struggle for him, finding his way around the apartment is challenging at times as well. He is getting more and more confused and having dreams that he is unable to separate from reality once awake. His balance this past week became progressively worse over the period of a few days, hand eye coordination was affected and he was becoming increasingly delusional. 

I quickly came to the conclusion that dad needed more help than I could provide. Even if I could be there all day I couldn't safely help him move about and don't have the knowledge needed to best deal with all his ongoing and new symptoms so I called an ambulance. Before I made the call I talked to dad about going to the hospital first. It wasn't about giving him a choice but rather some consideration and time for him to process going to the hospital.

I've always been able to juggle as needed whatever life throws at me. Kung Fu has helped me to develop greater awareness and logical or reasonable control as opposed to arbitrary control. I'm learning to be less reactive and think more in terms of responsive. I juggle balls as needed. The difference now is that I am better able to purposely set balls aside rather than drop them. Dropping does still happen, but I stop for a moment and reset. I also ask myself why? What did I learn and what can I adjust?

Every day, every life event and every challenge becomes a catalyst for growth and change. Through all the ups and downs this year I have been provided with multiple opportunities to learn more about the person I am and the direction I want to take. I am moving forward in a way that supports myself and others around me.

Why Do I Go To Class?

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Why do I go to class?

I go to class to learn.

I go to class to push myself out of my comfort zone and to become the best version of myself. 

I go to class to be surrounded by like minded individuals and our SRKF community.  

I go to class so that I may be of help to others

I go to class to absorb the spirit of the art and acknowledge our past masters.

I go to class to be noticed by my instructors and get feedback.

I know that being noticed is something to be embraced and yet I struggle with this. Why is this difficult for me? Mostly because I've always protected myself within a carefully constructed bubble and prefer to blend in. I am uncomfortable with attention. 

When I acknowledge to myself that being noticed is desirable and essential to my growth I am better able to step on the mats and embrace the attention and feedback from my instructors. Even when feedback isn't specifically directed at me I know there is still value and lessons I can apply to my own training. I can also use some of that same feedback to not only improve my skill but also help other students. 

So I ask myself do I want to be noticed? YES, because feedback is essential and I know this is how I will continue to expand my knowledge and skill in Kung Fu. My ego needs to be pushed aside so that information can be absorbed and acted upon. It is the willingness to accept and embrace feedback that will continue to help me grow as a person and as a martial artist.

It's Just Kung Fu!

 

It's just Kung Fu!

My first thought was wow, that's quite the statement. How can that be true? The importance of kung fu can not be overstated and yet.... hmm, is this possible? 

I kept coming back to this statement as it has required some contemplation on my end. It is the paradox that has caused me some internal conflict. When I contemplate everything that Kung Fu has done for me over the years I have trouble aligning the above statement with my perception of Kung Fu. What was needed was a tweak in perception to not only understand the statement but also how and where Kung Fu fits into my life. My journey this year has been about finding ways to fit Kung Fu into my upside down life and my life into my Kung Fu. And I admit there have been times when it had felt like a bit of a burden.

So as I contemplated the meaning of this simple statement I've come to believe and embrace that it is about taking things less seriously while still putting in the effort required in any given moment. Yes, the art of Kung Fu is full of amazing lessons and discoveries and the benefits are endless and yet it is just Kung Fu.  Thinking of it as just Kung Fu teaches me to step back, look through a different lens, take a breath and enjoy the journey. 

When I change my perception to "It's just Kung fu",  I'm more present and have the ability to flow with greater ease, enjoying each moment without overly stressing about the outcome. I can then step back and look at things objectively while creating balance within training and personal life. 

paradox