Hello Shoulders - Again

I first became aware of my shoulders in a good way as a green belt. It was while I was practicing seven knife hands at home and trying to involve my other hand that I finally discovered my shoulders. With that discovery I let go of some of my stiffness and was able to incorporate the other hand. I become more fluid. 

Broadsword has been giving me trouble and so I have added articulations into my daily reps.  I am progressing slowly and the strikes are starting to feel better with help from different instructors. I'm not quite where I need or want to be so the articulations continue to be part of my routine.  As I was practicing one day I happened to see my shoulder out of the corner of my eye. It was definitely a hello shoulder moment. This awareness helped me to realize that the shoulder was an integral part of how effectively I was moving and within a short time I started to feel like I was actually wielding a sword. I could feel intention behind the strike and started to feel more in control and at one with the weapon. I remember thinking ohh so this is what it should feel like! There is so much more to improve upon and learn but at least I feel I'm making steps in the right direction. The broadsword has been challenging for me, but I can already tell it will also be rewarding.

My hand form happens to have a variation of 7 knife hands and as I was focusing on the sequence one day my shoulders said hello. It's hard to say what exactly happened first. Did my shoulders make themselves known first,  or was I aware of the need for a bit more shoulder? I feel like it was a hello shoulder moment. Oh, there you are shoulder, yes I need to add a bit more of you into the equation. 

I know hips and shoulders are connected, but does one come slightly before the other? That is a question I don't feel qualified to answer right now. I do know that if I focus on my shoulders the hips will align and if my focus is on my hips the shoulders will hopefully do their job. The tricky part is to not raise the shoulders and instead recognize and utilize the shoulders within the 6 harmonies as nature intended. 

I feel there are times when I am over engaging my shoulders so I will need to be mindful of that. History has shown me that the more I train, the more I develop my awareness and the more I learn.

One Thing Leads to Another

After some reflection what felt like a routine week actually contained some great self discoveries and important lessons.

We have been working on Lao Gar in class which has been very helpful towards developing a better understanding of the form, technique and my eye for detail. My body mechanics and six harmonies continues to amaze me.

Last week with some help from Sihing Csillag I discovered an issue with my hip in a technique that I was having trouble correcting because of muscle memory. As soon as I focused on and engaged the correct hip my hand positions automatically corrected themselves. I wasn't fighting muscle memory. 

This carried forward into Monday's class as Sifu Rybak had us focusing on stances. As I went through Lao Gar 1 I realized that I needed to address my stance in the "pose". I could feel my heel was in contact with the mats but I did not feel connected. After class I played around with my hip rotation in trying to feel more grounded and solid in that technique. I was getting closer and then Sihing Burke came over and mentioned the intent of the technique which right away helped with the proper hip involvement and resulted in a solid connection to the ground. 

Fast forward to Saturday mornings class and a discussion with Sifu Brinker about hips and application in another technique that provided important information and instruction. My takeaway is that when we have a clear understanding and awareness of the intent of a technique our skeletal structure will support that intent. In most cases instead of fighting muscle memory to make a correction we need to focus on the intent of the technique and let the body do what comes natural. 

My focus for the next couple of weeks is going to be to delving into the intent of each technique within the form as I move through each sequence of techniques.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

This was a book that was on my reading list before I found out it was a required read for black belt grading. Many people either love it or hate it. I fall somewhere in between. Truthfully it's not my favorite book. The story within the story was confusing at times and I found the concepts to be convoluted. And yet as I trudged through the book I found myself rereading many sections for the gems of wisdom discovered along the way. The book was interesting, intriguing, thought provoking and frustrating at the same time. 

I had finished reading this book last year and worked through about half of the assigned questions, so I had a good head start towards finishing this requirement. Getting through the book was actually easier than answering the corresponding questions. Maybe it's because I overthink everything. Many of the questions required digging deep to understand the philosophical meaning and then figure out how to put my thoughts into words. My brain gets a good workout for sure!

The book and remaining questions had been on my radar lately and so I've taken some time this past week to jump back into the assignment. Working through these questions requires a lot of effort and hard work. Definitely some value there. As I researched and worked out answers to a few of the remaining questions I found even more value. There was cohesiveness within the overall concepts as they relate to my journey and my recent struggles.

What effect does peace of mind have on outcomes?

What is the difference between an ego climber and a selfless climber?

What is quality?

The above 3 questions came at just the right time in my journey. As I answered them I had light bulbs of clarity pinging in my head. They have added value to my life and to my training! And I also learned the value in not rushing through things to check a box. If I had read the book and ploughed through the questions as quickly as possible I would have missed some of these nuggets of gold. Their relevance would have been overshadowed by the next shiny thing.

I have posted the following section from the book on my wall as a reminder of the impact this had on me and to embrace the journey: 

Phaedrus wrote a letter from India about a pilgrimage to holy Mount Kailas, the source of the Ganges and the abode of Shiva, high in the Himalayas, in the company of a holy man and his adherents.

He never reached the mountain. After the third day he gave up exhausted, and the pilgrimage went on without him. He said he had the physical strength but that physical strength wasn't enough. He had the intellectual motivation but that wasn't enough either. He didn't think he had been arrogant but thought that he was undertaking the pilgrimage to broaden his experience, to gain understanding of himself. He was trying to use the mountain for his own purposes and the pilgrimage too. He regarded himself as the fixed entity, not the pilgrimage or the mountain, and thus wasn't ready for it. He speculated that the other pilgrims, the ones who reached the mountain, probably sensed the holiness of the mountain so intensely that each footstep was an act of devotion, an act of submission to this holiness. The holiness of the mountain infused into their own spirits enabled them to endure far more than anything he, with his greater physical strength, could take.

To the untrained eye ego-climbing and selfless climbing may appear identical. Both kinds of climbers place one foot in front of the other. Both breathe in and out at the same rate. Both stop when tired. Both go forward when rested. But what a difference! The ego-climber is like an instrument that's out of adjustment. He puts his foot down an instant too soon or too late. He's likely to miss a beautiful passage of sunlight through the trees. He goes on when the sloppiness of his step shows he's tired. He rests at odd times. He looks up the trail trying to see what's ahead even when he knows what's ahead because he just looked a second before. He goes too fast or too slow for the conditions and when he talks his talk is forever about somewhere else, something else. He's here but he's not here. He rejects the here, is unhappy with it, wants to be farther up the trail but when he gets there will be just as unhappy because then it will be "here." What he's looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn't want that because it is ​all around him. Every step's an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.

Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Over and over we are told to focus on the journey and not the destination. It is too easy to loose track of this and individual moments when there is a goal we are reaching for. The goal is merely a compass point to help guide us and provide some direction. If patient, along the way we discover ourselves. 

Best Shape of my Life?

Best Shape of my Life? Hmm...

I turn 60 today and I actually do feel pretty darn good! I question though if I am in the best shape of my life? And I find myself wavering back and forth between yes and no. 

I know that I am much further ahead in the spiritual and emotional side of things. I've made huge strides these last few years when it comes to personal growth. Knowledge, awareness and intentional living continues to grow and helps me to evolve as a human being. I am able to recognize and manage my anxiety better due to a combination of diet, physical activity and various support systems implemented. And I have made physical activity a part of my daily routine.

So what do I struggle with?

During times of extreme stress I struggle with making healthy eating choices. It's the in between snacks and high carb foods that end up being my go to. Insomnia has also become a problem at times which creates problems with my ability to function well during the day.  With the physical side of things I'm still learning how far to push myself due to chronic knee issues and occasional lower back issues. I know that physically there is room for improvement. There are different ways I can work on strength, endurance and flexibility that best suits my needs. Yoga has been great for this. I am learning to be kinder to myself while finding the balance of when and how far to push and when to hold back.

When I think about being 60, I am filled with gratitude for all that Kung Fu and the IHC has done for me. I would not be in the shape I am in today without both of these in my life. I am excited for the possibilities and continued growth in the days and years ahead. And I love that I am more focused and aware of myself and the world around me. 

May Numbers

 

Numbers - May/Year To Date

PU - 3550/11895                  Sparring - 54/413        

SU - 3755/11935                  KM - 200/546             

Hand Form - 72/289            AOK - 198/737

Weapon - 62/276                 Yoga - 240/640 min

This month was about increasing my reps and building routine and consistency. 

I was able to add more yoga time into the month and kept the push ups and sit ups consistent. Sparring dropped a bit as I was more focused on getting ready for the Tiger Challenge and other events.

Overall I am happy with the results. What I am doing is sustainable and also includes room for improvement. 

Purpose

Knowing and understanding the purpose behind the things I do or want to accomplish will help me to develop clarity and drive motivation. 

There are numerous tasks I do everyday that are done on automatic pilot, never asking myself why. A menial routine task can still hold value and importance though. The key is to know and understand what that is. Why? I believe that's because just doing holds less value than being mindful, present and aware. And the time spent on a task or goal when we are in the moment and aware of the bigger picture gives those precious moments value.   

Why is this habit, routine or goal important to me? How does it benefit me or others? And with the answer comes another question. When I dig deeper I can create the desire and motivation to push myself through challenges and help reduce poor decision making. Going beyond the obvious answer helps to add value to my life and the choices I make. 

Knowing my purpose can create an impenetrable force that guides me.

Sparring, applications and board breaking is freaking me out a bit. My sparring has been improving because of the time spent during class and open training. I know that applications and board breaking will improve as well with time and effort. All of this has been more front and centre because of the Tiger Challenge. I know it is past time to address these aspects of my training. If I apply the concept of purpose to this I can set myself up for success.  So I am asking myself questions and figuring out the whys that will have more meaning to me.

Why do I want to work on sparring, applications or board breaking? 

I want to earn my black belt this year is a big why, but not necessarily the most important one. 

Another why is to build confidence, control and the ability to adapt etc. The problem with these whys are I know them to be true of everyone. They do provide a degree of motivation but I’m unsure at this point if they are enough to push me forward to where I need and want to be.

So I dig a bit deeper:

I want to experience that sense of accomplishment, knowing that I put in the effort to overcome the fears and develop a certain level of skill and control. At the end of the day I want to be proud of myself for the time and effort I put in whatever the outcome.  I want to be the best version of myself and know that I earned my black belt. 

I don't want to have any regrets!