In addition to anxiety I sometimes deal with depression. The depression can creep up on me gradually or seemingly very suddenly. Monday seemed to be going smoothy until the end of my work day. There were no issues at work, I had done some yoga in the morning and followed my nutrition plan so I'm not too sure what exactly happened. By the time I arrived home I was feeling overly hungry, emotional and just wanted to crawl into bed.
I figured I'd eat, rest and then go to my class. By the time I arrived at the Kwoon I had decided to participate at the back of the class as my mental state was not improving and I could feel myself getting progressively worse. Instead I was able to sit down and chat with Sifu Rybak and felt much improved afterwards.
By the time I finished in the office the class had started sparring. One might think this may not have been the best thing for me to take part in given how I was feeling, but it turned out to be a good experience. I was able to concentrate, focus on each partner and stay in control. There was a very brief moment of panic as our rotation put me in front of Todai Raw and Todai Carreau, but I quickly shook it off and gathered courage. Afterwards, I was amazed at how well I handled everything, especially given my mental state.
You’re capable of more than you give yourself credit for.
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