Curiosity & Wonder

Currently life feels a bit like a record skipping and playing the same loop over and over. I’m stuck and I’m struggling is on repeat. Also my knees have been screaming at me more often than usual and grief shows up at random moments prompting the need to process. It doesn't matter if it is all valid because when things begin to sound lame in my own head, I know it’s time to regroup and figure things out. I'm not sure what exactly that is going to look like, but having the awareness and drive to create a change will help.

Getting back into a regular training routine has been a challenge mentally and physically, but I am getting it done. It doesn’t always feel great, but there are moments where the intention is pure and I do feel engaged. I’ve even been able to explore and learn some new moves for my tai chi sword form. So definitely some wins.

Something I've come to realize is I feel my ability to enjoy the journey quietly slipping away, and that is concerning. At first, I thought the problem was a lack of inspiration. But, as I thought about this more, it’s a bit deeper than that. The missing components are actually curiosity and wonder. Having a strong sense of curiosity and wonder is where I feel most engaged in life and everything around me. And this is where I also feel more joy, peace, and contentment. 

There is still a sense of curiosity and wonder in my life and it's something I experience every day. The problem is it’s either lost its lustre or I seem to need a lot more of it to fill me up these days. The one thing that comes to mind is adding in the practice of mindful breathing back into my day. This will help provide opportunities to stop, be in the moment, practice gratitude and build on the curiosity and wonder of everything around me and the beauty of life.