My daughter and her husband celebrated their marriage with a destination wedding in Cancun, Mexico last week. A small group of family and friends were able to join us to be a part of their special day, and although rain and cloud was forecasted for the day of the wedding, we had a perfect day of sunshine and blue skies.
I have always considered myself to be a patient person. I tend to be fairly grounded most of the time and I have the ability to be flexible when required. Imagine my frustration when I found that my level of patience was noticeably lacking on day one of our vacation. Normally Logan and I travel together just the two of us and although there is flexibility built into our vacation we also have a routine that works for us. Going on vacation with a group of people has its challenges, but the greatest challenge for me was travelling with my dad this time. The three of us shared a room which was beneficial cost wise to both of us. My dad is 80 years old and he has generally enjoyed good health and mobility, but the years are starting to catch up to him and he is beginning to experience health issues related to his age.
Walking anywhere in a huge resort with dad was frustrating right away as his idea of going places involved a leisurely stroll even if we were scheduled to meet up with other people. Apparently I walk too fast. I recognised my lack of patience right away. I didn't like what I was feeling and tried to adjust to the circumstances. Dad gets up 2 - 8 times during the night, so my sleep was not at its optimum. Thankfully Logan is a sound sleeper and he got a good sleep each night. I am grateful that these resorts have qualified and accessible doctors as I was able to get dad in to see the doctor when a health issue presented itself midweek. The doctor was able to prescibe and provide the necessary medication that dad needed. I just had to try and keep him on track with taking the doses and remind him that alcohol was not a good idea while taking medication. The role of parent-child is definitely changing between myself and my dad, and that can be challenging for both of us.
I can look back over the years and remember times when I have had a remarkable amount of patience given the circumstances. When I delve deeper into those moments I realise that I was able to stay grounded and centered because I was living more in the moment, allowed myself to be open and released others and myself from expectations. Stress and anxiety are then decreased and patience is increased. The ability to problem solve is also increased, all while maintaining balance and staying grounded.
Anything or anyone can become a trigger that upsets that delicate balance no matter how relaxed, grounded and easy going a person may be. Awareness and taking action is necessary to reduce stress and anxiety as it occurs. Recognise what is happening, why it is happening and how can you get back on track.
Michele Ward
Tuesday, 8 December 2015
Monday, 23 November 2015
Obscurity
I had one of those ah ha, moments recently while reading verse 36 of the Tao. This particular verse talks about the "Wisdom of Obscurity". Its about releasing the need to compare yourself and fit in, and releasing the need to be more, in the eyes of others. Oneness and connection are neccessary in our lives in order to help achieve this. As we reduce and eliminate competition and comparison from our lives, we allow our quiet, gentle strength and the true essence of who we are, to expand.
Although I have understood the concept of everything being connected for many years now, I have struggled with applying that knowledge to myself, which has resulted in feeling disconnected at times. My understanding has definitely grown this year due to many factors and that knowledge has helped me to experience that connection more.
So the question is how do we feel that connection and oneness in our lives? In order to feel and know a particular emotion, we must first have felt the opposite emotion. We can only know sadness if we have previously experienced happiness. If we allow the two emotions to be felt without the connection of its opposite, a disconnect is created and it can leave us feeling out of balance. The awareness and understanding that you can not have one without the other creates oneness and connection. When this is realized the natural flow of energy and balance is restored. With balance and energy is at its optimum the need for competition and comparison is eliminated and we are able to see ourselves as equals. Connection needs to be felt within ourselves as well as with everything and everyone around us.
Michele Ward
Although I have understood the concept of everything being connected for many years now, I have struggled with applying that knowledge to myself, which has resulted in feeling disconnected at times. My understanding has definitely grown this year due to many factors and that knowledge has helped me to experience that connection more.
So the question is how do we feel that connection and oneness in our lives? In order to feel and know a particular emotion, we must first have felt the opposite emotion. We can only know sadness if we have previously experienced happiness. If we allow the two emotions to be felt without the connection of its opposite, a disconnect is created and it can leave us feeling out of balance. The awareness and understanding that you can not have one without the other creates oneness and connection. When this is realized the natural flow of energy and balance is restored. With balance and energy is at its optimum the need for competition and comparison is eliminated and we are able to see ourselves as equals. Connection needs to be felt within ourselves as well as with everything and everyone around us.
Michele Ward
Sunday, 15 November 2015
My Kung Fu
There is no doubt about it, kung fu is definitely hard work and it can also be humbling. It is a different journey that each one of us takes. When you look around at all the students, you will see some that are physically fit and some that are naturally athletic. Some students learn quickly and some are more coordinated than others. The desire to learn and the ability to understand the concepts being taught and to see the bigger picture also come into play. That is part of what makes the journey different for everyone.
This past week has been extremely frustrating for me. A minor injury and a whole lot of aches and pains has plagued me most of the week. Getting down to the floor for push ups and sit ups was a struggle. Maybe that's what it feels like to be 90? As I was doing my kempo reps over and over during the week, I had this recurring thought of "why can't I get this?" At this point I don't know that 1000 reps are going to be enough, but I also know that stopping definitely won't get me any closer either. This has been one of those weeks where I'm asking myself if kung fu is right for me. I'm probably one of the least coordinated people and I still have a long way to go to being physically fit. My balance sucks and learning and implementing new techniques is a challenge.
I don't know where kung fu is going to take me, but it is a journey that I am determined to continue on. My experiences have been greater than I ever imagined and I have accomplished more than I thought possible.
Michele Ward
Numbers
Sit ups 1090 (41150)
Push ups 1190 (32850)
Walking 19km (1149)
AOK's 21 (827)
Kempo 26 (324)
Nunchuks 23 (629)
This past week has been extremely frustrating for me. A minor injury and a whole lot of aches and pains has plagued me most of the week. Getting down to the floor for push ups and sit ups was a struggle. Maybe that's what it feels like to be 90? As I was doing my kempo reps over and over during the week, I had this recurring thought of "why can't I get this?" At this point I don't know that 1000 reps are going to be enough, but I also know that stopping definitely won't get me any closer either. This has been one of those weeks where I'm asking myself if kung fu is right for me. I'm probably one of the least coordinated people and I still have a long way to go to being physically fit. My balance sucks and learning and implementing new techniques is a challenge.
I don't know where kung fu is going to take me, but it is a journey that I am determined to continue on. My experiences have been greater than I ever imagined and I have accomplished more than I thought possible.
Michele Ward
Numbers
Sit ups 1090 (41150)
Push ups 1190 (32850)
Walking 19km (1149)
AOK's 21 (827)
Kempo 26 (324)
Nunchuks 23 (629)
Sunday, 8 November 2015
Dynamic Action
Either the word dynamic is being used more and more often, or I've just become more aware of it's use. Dynamic can be used to describe someones personality, but more importantly it is our ability to recognise changes needed in the present moment and the ability to take action while in motion. It can also reflect future planned changes that we want to make in our day to day lives and how we consciously adjust and make those changes happen. Dynamic action requires conscious effort and awareness. It also requires that we want and expect more from ourselves. Our actions, our speech and how we go about anything we do in our day to day lives are impacted in a positive way when we apply dynamic action to everything we do.
The year of the sheep is rapidly coming to an end and there is still so much that I want to complete. My year has been very dynamic and I have had many successes. I have made huge changes and accomplished much more than I ever thought possible. I want to be able to take everything that I have accomplished and learned and continue that momentum. Some of the failures are personal goals that should have been easy, but they all provide learning, opportunity for growth and dynamic action.
Michele Ward
The year of the sheep is rapidly coming to an end and there is still so much that I want to complete. My year has been very dynamic and I have had many successes. I have made huge changes and accomplished much more than I ever thought possible. I want to be able to take everything that I have accomplished and learned and continue that momentum. Some of the failures are personal goals that should have been easy, but they all provide learning, opportunity for growth and dynamic action.
Michele Ward
Monday, 2 November 2015
Learning
For the past 3 weeks I have been kept quite busy working on my first term project for school. The amount of research, work and learning involved in order to complete this project was overwhelming at times and the light at the end of the tunnel was dim at best. I can now breath a huge sigh of relief as I have finally completed this project and it has been turned in for evaluation. This has been a huge learning curve for me and I have gained a new appreciation for what it takes to be a student and the work involved in the learning process. The next obstacle is my first final exam this week.
The tiger challenge was another opportunity for learning and hard work. It's an opportunity that only comes along once a year. This is a day that members of our kung fu family get together in a fun and safe environment and perform for a panel of judges with fellow students, friends, and family there to support us. Anxiety and nerves are a given for me any time that I get up in front of other people and I know that most of us battle with this to some degree. So congratulations to everyone that took part in the tiger challenge and thank you to everyone that helped to make this day possible. We really had an amazing group of students participating this year from the little ones all the way up to the black belts. Kudos to those of you that really pushed past your nerves and participated in events that were out of your comfort zone. The most exciting for me this year (also huge anxiety) was developing and working on a musical weapon form. I found that tying in the music to the weapon form gave me an increased level of enjoyment and engagement. It was all over way too quickly, but I had fun with it and look forward doing another musical form next year.
Numbers
sit ups 1000 (39,170)
push ups 1120 (30,490)
walking 22k (1115)
sparring 0 (226)
kempo 10 (290)
nunchuks 2 (600)
Aok's 21 (780)
Michele Ward
The tiger challenge was another opportunity for learning and hard work. It's an opportunity that only comes along once a year. This is a day that members of our kung fu family get together in a fun and safe environment and perform for a panel of judges with fellow students, friends, and family there to support us. Anxiety and nerves are a given for me any time that I get up in front of other people and I know that most of us battle with this to some degree. So congratulations to everyone that took part in the tiger challenge and thank you to everyone that helped to make this day possible. We really had an amazing group of students participating this year from the little ones all the way up to the black belts. Kudos to those of you that really pushed past your nerves and participated in events that were out of your comfort zone. The most exciting for me this year (also huge anxiety) was developing and working on a musical weapon form. I found that tying in the music to the weapon form gave me an increased level of enjoyment and engagement. It was all over way too quickly, but I had fun with it and look forward doing another musical form next year.
Numbers
sit ups 1000 (39,170)
push ups 1120 (30,490)
walking 22k (1115)
sparring 0 (226)
kempo 10 (290)
nunchuks 2 (600)
Aok's 21 (780)
Michele Ward
Monday, 12 October 2015
Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
I consciously try to not take anything for granted. When I stop to consider every person, place, thing or event that is part of my life, it is easy to feel gratitude for all the gifts that I have been blessed with. Being thankful and having the ability to also appreciate the not so great events in our lives can be very challenging at times. I firmly believe that those negative events ripple out and contain positive energy and outcomes. The positive is there; we simply need to see, feel and be open to the possibilities. Changing the way we think and seeing beyond the obvious can be very challenging, but is so much more rewarding than the alternative. Seeing past the pain, distress of the moment allows us to be mindful and aware of the hidden opportunities and gifts within.
My youngest son Logan is a great example of this. My husband and I had thought and planned to be done at 2 children. An unexpected pregnancy and loosing the baby at just over 4 months into the pregnancy was devastating to both of us. I remember questioning "why has this happened?" and "what is the purpose?" After some time spent processing we became open to the idea and realised that we both wanted another child. Logan would not be here today if that tragic event had not occurred first.
I am grateful for everything, every person, place and event in my life. I am especially grateful for my children. They are all special and unique in their own way and I am blessed to have been gifted with each one of them.
Michele Ward
I consciously try to not take anything for granted. When I stop to consider every person, place, thing or event that is part of my life, it is easy to feel gratitude for all the gifts that I have been blessed with. Being thankful and having the ability to also appreciate the not so great events in our lives can be very challenging at times. I firmly believe that those negative events ripple out and contain positive energy and outcomes. The positive is there; we simply need to see, feel and be open to the possibilities. Changing the way we think and seeing beyond the obvious can be very challenging, but is so much more rewarding than the alternative. Seeing past the pain, distress of the moment allows us to be mindful and aware of the hidden opportunities and gifts within.
My youngest son Logan is a great example of this. My husband and I had thought and planned to be done at 2 children. An unexpected pregnancy and loosing the baby at just over 4 months into the pregnancy was devastating to both of us. I remember questioning "why has this happened?" and "what is the purpose?" After some time spent processing we became open to the idea and realised that we both wanted another child. Logan would not be here today if that tragic event had not occurred first.
I am grateful for everything, every person, place and event in my life. I am especially grateful for my children. They are all special and unique in their own way and I am blessed to have been gifted with each one of them.
Michele Ward
Tuesday, 6 October 2015
For Better or Worse
Here's a little background first. 8 years ago my husband at the time was given a choice to smoke some crack with a buddy of his and he did not choose wisely. 8 years ago he became a crack addict. When he made that initial decision, he chose the drug over his family. This was his life experience and his path to take. And with the ripple effect it also became the path and experience of those around him for better or worse. It did not matter how hard we all tried to help, he didn't think that he needed any help or that he had a problem. Try to explain that to a 6, 14, and 18 year old.
After about 4 years of no fixed address and very little contact with family or friends he reluctantly accepted help and went into a rehab program. After getting help he moved to Red Deer where his dad lived and started to rebuild his life. I believe that he had suffered from undiagnosed and untreated depression for a long period of time and still does. His mentality and lifestyle is that of about a 23 year old in a lot of respects. Now he has simply traded the crack for alcohol and pot.
There is a great person underneath all that baggage that he carries around and I know that he loves his children dearly, but at the same time he chooses not to be involved in their lives regularly. Even though we may not see or hear from him for up to 6 months at a time, I am always open to him coming and staying with us so that the kids can continue a relationship with him and it can be done in a safe and healthy environment.
I have learned more about drug use and addictions than I ever thought I would know or wanted to know. I have also learned how closely depression and mental illness can be tied in with addictions.
This past weekend was one of celebration and new beginnings. My daughter and her fiance` were married in their new home on Saturday with a small gathering of family to share in their special day. We celebrated the day with an early thanksgiving dinner that also included my ex husband. I am grateful that my oldest son was able to get his dad to come with him from Red Deer to attend the wedding. As trying as it can be to have him around in my space, it also gives me the opportunity to practise patience, awareness and understanding.
It can be difficult to let go of hurt, disappointment, and anger, but when I look at all of the successes and the positives that have come about for myself and for my children, I am reminded to trust in the journey.
Numbers
sit ups 890 (35,010)
push ups 930 (25,875)
walking 27k (1024.9)
sparring 0 (156)
kempo 3 (215)
nunchuks 10 (431)
Aok's 34 (697)
Michele Ward
After about 4 years of no fixed address and very little contact with family or friends he reluctantly accepted help and went into a rehab program. After getting help he moved to Red Deer where his dad lived and started to rebuild his life. I believe that he had suffered from undiagnosed and untreated depression for a long period of time and still does. His mentality and lifestyle is that of about a 23 year old in a lot of respects. Now he has simply traded the crack for alcohol and pot.
There is a great person underneath all that baggage that he carries around and I know that he loves his children dearly, but at the same time he chooses not to be involved in their lives regularly. Even though we may not see or hear from him for up to 6 months at a time, I am always open to him coming and staying with us so that the kids can continue a relationship with him and it can be done in a safe and healthy environment.
I have learned more about drug use and addictions than I ever thought I would know or wanted to know. I have also learned how closely depression and mental illness can be tied in with addictions.
This past weekend was one of celebration and new beginnings. My daughter and her fiance` were married in their new home on Saturday with a small gathering of family to share in their special day. We celebrated the day with an early thanksgiving dinner that also included my ex husband. I am grateful that my oldest son was able to get his dad to come with him from Red Deer to attend the wedding. As trying as it can be to have him around in my space, it also gives me the opportunity to practise patience, awareness and understanding.
It can be difficult to let go of hurt, disappointment, and anger, but when I look at all of the successes and the positives that have come about for myself and for my children, I am reminded to trust in the journey.
Numbers
sit ups 890 (35,010)
push ups 930 (25,875)
walking 27k (1024.9)
sparring 0 (156)
kempo 3 (215)
nunchuks 10 (431)
Aok's 34 (697)
Michele Ward
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