Change Starts With Me!

I'm going a bit stir crazy, feeling a bit like a caged bird unable to spread my wings. I had all these great plans to incorporate more training into my days and I just can’t seem to find much opportunity for uninterrupted time or space. 

Whatever was I thinking? I’ve gone from a mostly orderly life to disorder. Wait a minute… , I was looking to change things up and add more to my life. Well I certainly got what I asked for. Making the decision to get a puppy was not done lightly and included much thought and  research before hand, but there is only so much a person can prepare for.  Just like kids, dogs have distinctive personalities, traits and challenges to learn and work within.

This years transition from winter to spring has been wonderful with the warm weather, but there has also been too much sand, wetness and muck everywhere. It feels never ending and adds extra work/cleanup with a pup. I'm definitely feeling the disorder and mess these past 2 weeks. 

On a positive note: 

- I have added value to my life and my pups life. And as I mentioned before I'm now outdoors much more than before, walking everyday and finding opportunities to enjoy the moment.

- Something else I’ve noticed is my ability to step outside my social bubble and talk/ interact with random people I meet on walks or at the dog park. And I’m finding it relatively easy and enjoyable. 

- Another positive is I recognize these challenges as opportunities to make adjustments and exercise my ability to expand my perspective. 

Am I resisting too much in terms of acceptance or am I simply not putting in enough effort? I believe the answer is yes. There is a bit of both going on with a dollop of procrastination added in. 

In terms of effort and procrastination - I have 2.5 - 3 hours most mornings before work that could be more productive, so on Friday I put together a loose schedule for the morning to provide some direction in order to be more productive and alleviate any guilt. I think this will work to help keep me on track, be more accountable to myself and hopefully build some better habits.

Change requires opening your heart and allows for an evolving perspective and the ability to search and find the value, the vision and any future investment potential. It’s also requires practicing gratitude and letting go in order to move forward. 

Circularity of Movement

The hand form I am working on this year is MLK. My goal is to learn the entire sequence with good technique. In addition one of my personal goals is to utilize one on ones regularly throughout the year which will help me in learning MLK, so the two work together nicely.

For this weeks one on one I wanted to address a specific section I’d been having trouble with. Trying to figure out if the problem was in understanding the intent, the timing or transitions or all of the above wasn't getting me closer to a solution. After a discussion with Sifu, it became apparent it was more of an issue of circular motion. It was a bit of a light bulb moment where I quickly realized I was pausing and breaking the circle between the 2 techniques and loosing flow as a result. The first technique needed to connect and flow into the next to facilitate proper timing and power. 

What appears to be a pause is more of a transition within the circular movement consisting of variable speed and direction, requiring control, and all happening in a very short time frame. As soon as I put this into practice I was able to feel the difference it made. With additional practice I know there will be continued improvement. 

It is interesting how something I am already familiar with can resurface, and continue to teach me valuable lessons while also expanding my knowledge and skill. The seeds had already been planted with the knowing and understanding in place. I just needed a nudge at the right time to connect a few more dots, and build awareness in order to make adjustments and improve.

Here is what I’m re-establishing, learning and feeling:

Circular motion includes different planes - Forward to backward, side to side and upward to downward, all of which can occur together. Tai Chi is great for this! 

Contraction (minimize, consolidate, draw in chi ) and expansion (release, expand the internal & external, explode) are integrated into circular movement. 

Speed of circular motion and size can and often needs to change with awareness and control. 

The obvious outward/external circular movement is more efficient with internal activation and circular movement 

Now I just need to put everything into practice! 

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 2660
Hand form: 49
Weapon form: 54
KM: 205
Sparring: 19
Blogs: 5
Tai Chi: 45
Mindful App - 11

Tai Chi Straight Sword, Section 2

My weapon this year has not changed. I am still working with the Chinese Straight Sword and learning the Tai Chi Sword form by utilizing a number of different videos I have been able to find. I can certainly see why and how ancient forms and systems change and evolve over time. We all have our own interpretation, body mechanics and personal styles that factor in when learning a form that has been passed down. 

I remember last year as I was starting to learn the form I was able to find a video that provided different views and angles to learn from, which was wonderful because I suck at trying to mirror someone. At first I wanted to utilize just that one video. It wasn't until I ran into trouble with a particular move that I found myself looking for a different source. This led to finding a video with a complete front view and a complete back view. The only glitch was some of the moves were being done differently. I struggled with this at first until I understood the natural evolution of the martial arts and how I or any of us play a part in that evolution as traditional martial artists. My goal is still to stay true to the technique and spirit of the original form and keep it as intact as possible.

The Yang 32 Tai Chi Straight Sword form is a simplified Version of the original Yang style sword form. It is broken down into 4 sections of 8 postures and transitions. Last year I had made it through the first section and had started on the 2nd section when I ran into a tricky posture and transition. After a few attempts my brain just wasn't getting it and so I concentrated on what I already had and worked on polishing things up.

With a fresh start this year I committed myself to learning the 2nd section. Being able to slow the video down to 25% has been great for allowing my brain to catch up and figure things out. It feels like I've done just that particular posture and transition close to 1000x already. Yes, that is a slight exaggeration, LOL. Now that I can replicate the move to the best of my current ability, I will be able to refine and continue forward. I really feel like I'm making some headway.

Acts of Kindness

Wow! I received some great news this week! After about 9 months of helping to manage and provide ongoing support to my oldest brother, he has informed me that his AISH application has been officially approved and will begin receiving money shortly along with some retroactive pay. Numerous hours have been spent getting him housed, help with doctors, finding resources, completing applications and keeping him on track.

There have been moments when I've felt a bit resentful of the time and energy I've had to spend, especially given the family dynamics. After everything that had previously transpired I really didn't expect to have any contact or relationship with either of my brothers.

When he called me with the update I felt immediate relief and joy and very aware of how life changing and powerful Acts of Kindness can be. Acts of Kindness may seem simple much of the time and yet they can have huge ripple effects. 

Through all of this our relationship has improved, my dads mind is more at ease, and the effects of this resolution will help to contribute positively to my brothers overall mental health. With reduced stress levels and improved mental health my brother will be able to enjoy healthier relationships and be a more productive member of his community, instead of being a problem. There is more potential for him to enjoy a healthier and happier life. A lot is still up to him, but he has at least gotten a boost and the support he needs to take some positive steps forward.

Key to Success

A slow start or a sprint up hill right out of the gate is not necessarily an indicator of your trajectory and how successful you will be overall. I’ve had a couple slow and bumpy starts over the many years as a member of the IHC team that turned out to be some of my best years. Struggles and overcoming obstacles provide some of the best personal growth. 

When I look back at those particular years, I find prioritizing myself was a key component to success. For me this means a combination of healthy eating, practicing gratitude, yoga, mindfulness and meditation. Even if something falls off the others pickup the slack and help to carry me through. I have found that putting in the time and effort to take care of myself helps to reduce my anxiety, I’m more open and relaxed, make better decisions and able to embrace the journey and whatever comes my way.

Prioritizing myself isn’t the only variable though. I’ve learned which additional tools complement, anchor and even help to motivate me at times. Regular blogging has kept me in tune with where I am and what I’m doing. Reading and understanding mastery helps me to focus on the why and how, and push-ups/sit-ups provide an anchor and help to build discipline. For me these all provide building blocks and are foundational to my journey, which also helps me to find and prioritize the time needed for other aspects of my training. I am constantly balancing, re-evaluating and adjusting as needed.

There is a difference between working hard versus applying effort calmly and with intent.

Embrace The Here & Now

The biggest challenge I’ve been trying to work through this week has been more of an internal struggle. I find myself thinking back to the days when life and priorities were easier to manage, and opportunities to train were abundant. Looking back I'm aware of the missed moments and wasted time, but also very aware this is all part of my personal path and journey. I've learned these feelings need to be explored a bit without dwelling on things overly much. I find it helps to recognize the negative feelings happening internally and work through the issue so that I can move on and move forward. 

Forward momentum will naturally look different since the addition of a growing and active pup. There have already been more challenges to work through than expected. In addition to the challenges she also helps to keep me focused and attentive and brings me joy. Km for the year are certainly not going to be a problem with all the daily walks. In the short time she has been a part of my life I’ve already spent more time this winter outside, breathing in the fresh air, enjoying the gently falling snow at night and gazing up at the stars than any previous winter. I’m usually much more of a cocoon inside until spring comes type of person. 

Looking back at missed or under-utilized moments helps me to embrace the here and now. With the change in priorities I have gained much and am learning to make better use of my time and find new solutions. If I step out of my box and maybe do a few things differently I know I can find some new and workable opportunities and maybe even get a bit creative. As Sifu Brinker says - work and train smarter!

Part of my overall goal for this year is to build on my enthusiasm, intentionality and inspiration. And as I write this I’m realizing the struggles, the challenges and opportunities that come my way will all help me to get to where I want to be and am meant to be. 

Transition

Year of the Snake means big changes for me. I'm already somewhat missing not being on the IHC team and at the same time excited for what the year holds for me. After another inspiring and successful Chinese New Year Banquet, I can now focus 100% on the new year.

The word or phrase I have chosen for a theme this year is 'Take Action!' And when reflecting on each day, each week and each month I will ask myself if action was an accurate description. I know there is more I can be accomplishing and I want to find ways to do and be more, both internally and externally. I'm feeling really good about this years theme word as I feel it is going to help me find a better balance of the mental and the physical.