The Power of Eyes

Use your eyes! Look in the direction you are intending to go, is something we hear often from our instructors. So this is not a new concept and I know it has succeeded in planting some seeds. It is because of those seeds that I am able to make my own discoveries and nurture what has already been planted. 

Practicing Tai Chi in class a few months ago is when I first consciously chose to pause during a transition and look in the direction I was about to go. It was during a tricky transition and for some reason out of the blue a past lesson came to mind. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but wow.. , looking in the direction I was intending to travel made a positive impact. 

I am learning that making use of the eyes needs to be done with the correct timing. If I don’t commit to the previous move before changing the trajectory of my eyes, the desired or optimal results are not the same. I have found that when using my eyes with intent and proper timing, it actually helps to naturally engage the six harmonies and facilitate transitions and better technique. And I've been able to connect and experience the power of my eyes during sections of all of my forms. There is still lots of work to be done and I'm sure more exciting discoveries to be made.

Change Is In The Air

Change is in the air. It's everywhere in some form or other. 

Change has become a big aspect of my life lately. It has and is playing a huge role in my personal life, various aspects of work, family and kung fu. I feel as if I've been bombarded with changes this year. A constant barrage of stuff to deal with. The work changes are the most challenging for me. And even worse I know I've been here many times before. Just stop already! Ugh...! 

When it comes to my personal life, I find it a bit easier to adapt to change. Most likely this is because I am my own boss and therefore feel I have more control, especially when the change is a personal choice or  created by me. Even with outside factors at play there is a measure of control in how I respond or react and how I take care of myself all within a safe space.

When it comes to change in and around the workplace, it can feel like things are unsettled. And when I think on this, I feel there is a component of vulnerability and sometimes even a fear of the unknown depending on the circumstances. This can create a feeling of lack of control, which I can see now has caused me in the past to resist. Being in a place of resisting and reacting makes it much more difficult to respond in a healthy way and find ways to adapt. 

What's made a difference this time around was my awareness of this as a repetitive lesson and having dealt with similar issues and feelings. It started with the awareness and then continued to build with some reflection. At first there was a bit of initial frustration having to deal with a repetitive life lesson specifically around work changes and then as I sat and considered the situation I was able to come up with a course of action. I was able to focus on responding versus reacting, which helped me to take back some control. It isn't about having control over the situation or others, rather it has been about finding my voice and speaking up in a calm and measured manner. I'm still learning that in order to set some boundaries, I first have to be clear about what those boundaries are. 

We all have life lessons that seem to be on repeat. Learning, personal growth and getting stuck more often than not are all part of our human experience. It's those repeat lessons that can be the most frustrating and also provide a huge positive impact in our lives when we put in effort and do the necessary work.

Not Much to Report

There is nothing much to report. I'm struggling to find something, anything to write about that isn’t a rehash of previous posts. At times it all feels like the same old, same old struggles. This is where I am currently stuck and motivation has been lacking due mostly to how difficult it is now to train. I have limited space and opportunity to work in training while at home with an adolescent puppy around.

Again, I half to remind myself I am moving forward even if it is at a much slower pace than I would like. 

Making the Best Choices

My wellbeing, my growth and my overall outlook on life is directly related to the people I surround myself with. Books, podcasts, and social media posts etc all contribute as well. Every time I open myself to information and positive experiences that align with who I am and who I'm becoming, it helps me on my journey. It's just another piece of the puzzle that helps to provide direction and propels me forward. As my awareness of this grows I become even more mindful and careful of my choices.

Going with the Flow

I’ve been learning to adjust more and more and go with the flow. What that means for me is being adaptable, being flexible and opening my eyes and my heart to see and appreciate the possibilities.Going with the flow is a wonderful concept. It’s more than just floating mindlessly through life though. Mastery can still be worked into a 'go with the flow mindset'.

This week is a great example of how I was able to adapt to my changing routine and take advantage of an opportunity. I've been taking Willow to the dog park much earlier in the morning and most days we've had the place or at least a section of it to ourselves. It has been peaceful, quiet and perfect for a bit of Tai Chi. And I've also been able to add in a form rep here and there. Willow gets to do her thing and I get to do something for me. We both walk away happy.

Tracking

 What gets measured gets managed!

I have experienced this over and over and yet I still struggle with consistency and finding an effective and efficient method of tracking. The problem is I do not enjoy this aspect of managing goals. On one hand there are the tasks and goals themselves to be tracked and figuring out how best to measure them, and then there is also the effort it takes to keep track of everything. 

The act of keeping track seems to at times require more effort than the task or goal itself, which really feels counter productive at times. And yet I know when I'm on top of my record keeping, I'm able to measure more accurately where I am and what I'm doing. What I have found in the past is consistent daily tracking gives me a very clear measure of trajectory and can be motivating. 

I know I can't effectively manage something that isn't being tracked and measured. So why then can I not seem to stay consistent, especially when I know that tracking helps to measure, and measurements provides direction which leads to better management and success?

Rollercoaster Ride of Thoughts & Emotions

Embracing the here and now also means letting go of what once was and recognizing when, where and how my ego tries to insert itself. 

A thought that very recently popped into my head was that I'm letting people down and letting myself down. It was a very quick, and random thought with some emotion (guilt) attached. Shortly after I questioned how much of that random thought was ego. 

Ok ego, thank you - I've got this. 

Yes, I am having somewhat of an internal challenge with the changes to my Kung Fu world these past months. For many years I was very engaged with Kung Fu, attending my own classes, IHC most years and helping out in other classes. A fairly solid routine had been built that ebbed and flowed to a small degree, but was relatively consistent year after year. The Kwoon has been like a second home for me and many aspects of Kung Fu have become ingrained in my everyday life. And at this moment it feels a bit like it's slowly slipping away. I know this isn't completely accurate and yet I do need to be careful and find ways to stay engaged.

Having my ego surface like that gave me the opportunity to look a bit closer at the changes so that I can reflect, understand and make peace with everything. It is not a quick fix but much easier to work out when I acknowledge what is happening.

What I find interesting is I don't view any of what I'm experiencing as bad, down, or failing. I actually feel resistance when thinking about and trying to attach the opposite of good as bad or the opposite of up as being down. So where does that leave me and how do I quantify what I'm feeling and where I am at? The short answer is I am human. I'm learning, growing and living and loving life the best I can.