Sunday, 29 April 2018

Sometimes Details are not Enough!

I'm going to try and make this a quick as I was literally about to go to bed and realized I hadn't done my blog yet. Control, structure, analyzing, overthinking and details are a huge part of how I go about most of  my life, for better or worse. Right now though the details are slowing me done and keeping me from moving forward in my Kung fu training. I am struggling with the thought of letting go of the details and trusting my muscle memory to get me through my forms and various techniques. Just the thought of letting go is creating an internal battle that is quite upsetting. The details and specific steps help keep me grounded and on track. I'm not sure if this makes any sense to anyone else. My thoughts are all over the place. I have lived the majority of my life staying within and following the lines. Straight or curvy, up or down, I like to know where the lines are, and where they are going. The difficultly for me is how to do everything correctly while not focusing on the details. I did work on some forms this weekend and tried to focus on speed rather than detail which seemed to work ok.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Sunday, 22 April 2018

Focus on Success

I am not good with making decisions at the best of times and with my life being topsy turvy right now, decisions are even more difficult than usual. So..., I need to focus on the successes that have occurred the past couple of weeks.

I have found a great home for Logan and I to move into. My offer to purchase has been accepted and the financing has been approved. Yay!! Our temporary stay at my daughter's house is going very well and has given me the opportunity to help her out during her pregnancy. Our move in date for our new home is May 4th.

 I also had to make a decision regarding some unexpected dental work this past week. The choice was to either have a tooth pulled or do a root canal. The root canal comes with a huge bill due to no dental coverage and some potential serious risks. I choose to have the tooth pulled which I had done on Saturday. Let me just say that if I ever have to have a tooth pulled again it will only be done if I am completely sedated. Did I mention I don't like dentists? Not fun!!!

Right now I am feeling so far behind with all my requirements. If I was a give up type of person I would be throwing in the towel. I guess it's a good thing that I don't give up easily. I came so very close tonight to not doing my blog just because of how tired I was feeling and my lack of ideas on what to blog about. If I don't blog then what do I have left? Blogging is the only thing that I have consistently done every week and that is at least a success I need right now even if I'm sucking at almost everything else.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Sunday, 15 April 2018

Nice vs Kind

Definition of kindness - the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate, helpful, and thinking about other people's feelings

Nice by definition is someone who is pleasant, friendly, polite, someone who does the right thing.



I grew up during a time when respect and manners were taught by the majority of parents. Things like please and thank you, saying excuse me, holding open a door, addressing adults by Mr. or Mrs. etc. was valued and expected. As a child growing up I was extremely shy and doing the right thing was foremost in my mind. I was always trying to do what was expected, to not step outside the lines and not call attention to myself. I believed myself to be a nice person.

I then took those lessens and taught my children to say please and thank you, to say excuse me, etc. while they were growing up. My oldest two children caught on very quickly and were always praised for being well behaved and polite. The well behaved part didn't always translate to home, but they were polite no matter where they were. My 3rd and youngest child didn't seem to get the aspect of politeness and I struggled getting him to accept and comply with simple things like please and thank you. Despite this my youngest child has been the most agreeable and well behaved and I believe he is a kind person. And I know that when he is being kind it comes from a genuine place and less likely to be performed because of expectations, appearance or the possibility of a reward.

So, just how important are words like please and thank you? Does being nice and doing what is expected equate to kindness? Probably not. Being nice is definitely better than some of the alternatives, but how much conscious thought and effort does niceness require? 
Is niceness simply a step above mediocre?

Kindness requires awareness, and conscious thought and action. Kindness is not sitting back on the side lines. Kindness is compassionate, empathetic and understanding. Kindness does not have an ulterior motive. Kindness takes care of yourself, others and the environment. Kindness is not mediocre! 

I have been having a hard time getting enough acts of kindness completed each week. I've struggled with what to record as an act of kindness. I consider myself a nice person, but I have realized there is a difference between being nice versus kind. Things like please, thank you and holding open a door are automatic for me. Not a lot of thought needs to happen. So I don't feel these are worthy of recording. And if I am at home most of the day there is very little opportunity to perform acts of kindness. I'm not sure if anyone else is having a hard time with this as well. I have even struggled with why we should be recording our acts of kindness, but I very quickly realize that this becomes a tool towards gaining awareness and becoming conscious of opportunities to show kindness to others and ourselves. 

If anyone else is having some trouble with acts of kindness, check out this website:
http://www.becomingwhoyouare.net/the-true-meaning-of-kindness/


Namaste,

Michele Ward 


  

Sunday, 8 April 2018

Moving On!

This past weekend was mostly spent moving. Most of the past 25 years of my life is now packed up in boxes and is currently in storage. Logan and I will be staying with my daughter and her husband for the next month until we find somewhere new to live. I'm not sure how I feel right now about this transition we are currently going through. I'm excited to start fresh and it will be a relief to not have all the work associated with acreage living, but it is also difficult to move after living in one place for 25 years. Logan and I have just what is needed for the next month or so. I think about everything else that is stored and what exactly I would actually miss if it all just went away. I don't feel attached to most of what is packed up and yet it feels strange to have a quarter century of stuff that partially represents all those years. I know that the experiences, memories and relationships that have been created throughout all those years are much more important and lasting than the accumulation of stuff. 

I have purged 231 items from my collection of stuff. I am 3 weeks into the Minimalism Game and am now purging 20+ items each day. I will have to finish the game after I move into our new place at which point as I'm unpacking I will probably be able to purge some more and finish the 30 days.      

Sunday, 1 April 2018

Step Back & Assess the Situation


Due to my upcoming moving day and all that entails a new goal has been created. Priorities have needed to be adjusted and that means my path has taken a detour. Dealing with lower back pain, persistent headaches and moving day has provided a combination of reasons and excuses for not getting much done with regards to team requirements. Do I give myself a break or do I beat myself up? Right now I'm somewhere in between. I know that I missed some opportunities to work on my numbers and I generally work better under pressure, but my weakness is my own body and health.

Packing for the big move day started off great. Everything was on track and going smoothly. I had two wonderful friends both extend offers of help this weekend. When I initially read their text messages I was grateful, but I also had this moment of panic and avoidance. My tendency is to tunnel in and hide from the world when I feel overwhelmed unless the situation involves my kids. I have gotten better the past few years at stepping back, assessing the situation and making adjustments.

Help seems simple enough, but it requires knowing when to ask, how to ask and then there are more decisions to make. Things like: What day works? What time do you want us to come? What do you need help with? Too many decisions for my current slow motion squirrel brain to handle. After the initial moment of panic passed, I did what needed to be done. One step at a time. Sometimes dealing with one person or situation leads to a resolution for the next. I feel good about what was accomplished on Saturday and I wouldn't have been able to get it all done myself. Today I have another friend coming and more to get done. Thank you for friends and thank you for all the help!

Remember, when life becomes chaotic and your well laid plans are no longer working - just breathe! Step back and reground yourself. I take a few moments to tell myself "I can do this". I assess the situation, prioritize and make adjustments or I just pick one thing to work on and the rest sorts itself out because I am more focused and in a better frame of mind to get stuff done.

*I've been playing the minimalist game and have currently reduced the contents of my house by 105 items and still going strong!

Namaste,

Michele Ward


Patience and Small Wins

I was finally able to get a 30 minute yoga session done this week. With a puppy in the house Ive been finding it challenging to free up time...