A Bit of This & That

I found myself bouncing around somewhat this week. Some of the continuity and intention was lacking here and there, resulting in an overall feeling of being unsettled. And yet there were so many great accomplishments and moments as well. Bits of this and that all developing into little gems of knowledge and lessons. 

1.  Awareness of lessons at work where I was able to step back and remind myself "correct don't protect".
2.  Experiencing the effects of not setting priorities for the day, stuff still got done, but I do feel more grounded on days where I've set priorities.
3. Totally not a fan of video taping myself and then viewing the finished product. Ugg! This will be a work in progress throughout the coming year. 
4. Contraction and expansion realization during Wednesday nights class with the ball throw. My timing and six harmonies has been improving more and more on this segment. During class I also recognized that I was coming up out of the open x stance too early. It's not one and two and three. It's 1&2&3. There is so much more to flow! I was throwing the ball after I unwound from my stance. Breaking down the throw too much and loosing some of the flow and power. There is more than one contraction and expansion happening there.
5. Thinking about "kind" versus "generous" and how that relates to my acts of kindness. The word generous resonates with me more than the word kind. Both are great virtues to live by, but many kind acts can be done on auto pilot. Generous feels more all encompassing. Generous in thought, spirit and deeds. I feel that generous requires more intentional living and therefore more awareness. 

Mastery, Part 2

Part of my routine most mornings has included reciting and reading Mastery, by Stuart Emery. My short term memory is not the greatest so I found this to be the best course of action towards memorization. I really did not think it would have taken this long though.

I've always found the first paragraph to be the easiest to remember. There have been parts of the rest of the reading that came relatively easy while other parts that I often get stuck on. Kind of like our forms, some parts flow and others are problematic. Those problem areas require extra attention, effort and awareness. 

I think that by taking my time over the year to consistently work towards learning Mastery I have been able to better absorb and embrace the messages contained within. The last two paragraphs have been the most challenging for me. I read and read and they just don't seem to stick. So I ask myself "Why?" Maybe there is a lesson there. And I continue to push forward. Part of being a master is learning to work with the natural flow while still having the desire and dedication to learn and grow.

I believe the correlation of the messages and my life/Kung Fu seem to parallel my ability to memorize the words. This is a good thing, as simple memorization looses value if we are not also contemplating and absorbing the messages. The intention is to learn and work towards achieving our own mastery. The paragraphs and words that I can remember and recite are exactly where I should be and I think fairly accurately mirror where I am at in my life. 

While I may not be able to remember and recite each and every word, I am on a path towards my own individual mastery. And I am excited for where that path is taking me.

How Do I Train?

I had a great One on One with Sifu Brinker earlier this week. It was a productive meeting with some excellent takeaways. Towards the end of our discussion, Sifu Brinker casually commented on my training in the past as being "frantic". I had taken some notes afterwards, but kept coming back to that the word... frantic!

Truthfully, my initial thought was "hmm, that's a bit off base". And yet, if it really had no merit then why was I affected by the use of the word? I tossed and turned most of that night. It's interesting how a single word or observation presented by someone else can create such internal disruption. Another persons observation or perception doesn't necessarily make it the absolute truth, but there could however be a component of truth. I think it is also important to take into account the source and the intent.

My reaction was a perfect opportunity to ask myself why? Why can I not let this go? So, I first looked up the meaning of the word frantic to see if I could determine if and how it might apply to me. I was seeing some connections, but still not enough to be satisfied so I then looked at antonyms of the word frantic and started to make a few more connections.

Frantic - hurried, chaotic, disorganized, time crunch, fixated
Frantic Antonym - calm, composed, relaxed, balanced, grounded, moderate, peaceful

Taking time to contemplate where this was coming from and why, helped me to step back and look at my journey truthfully. In the past I have been all over the map. At times even a bit "frantic" There are many reasons for this. Mostly a hefty dash of anxiety, lack of confidence, ego and some competitiveness. I see where I created obstacles for myself, was inconsistent with the effort I put in and also didn't advocate for myself often enough.

As I look back at my kung fu training and journey, I can see a series of up and downs. I bounced around quite a bit during my orange and green belt years. I was really just trying to stay within my comfort zone and manage my anxiety as much as possible while still trying to push myself at times. I remember being faced with the prospect of moving up to the next level Teen/Adult class and dealing with a huge amount of anxiety. I just couldn't see myself in a more advanced, bigger class with higher belt level students. Panic would set in and I knew if I wanted to continue training then the morning class was best option for me at the time. This exposed me to different instructors and often components of higher belt level curriculum which came with a lot of benefits, but didn't help with developing consistency. I didn't have the consistency needed with my at home training either and I wasn't developing a solid working relationship with a core set of instructors.

It wasn't until I settled in and committed to the 9 AM class that I really started to develop some consistency and experience improvement. As my confidence started to increase, my anxiety began to lessen a bit. Keeping that morning class as an anchor, I was able to also start attending some evening classes. Obstacles still popped up here and there, but the path become clearer and more consistent.

I look back on my journey over this past year and am amazed at my progress. Did I really do all that in a relatively short period of time? The year has provided so much more than I ever would have expected. It has shown me that I am capable of more that I though and that self reflection, blogging and intentional effort equals results. And even when things didn't go so well it was still an opportunity to reflect some more and learn and grow. I have hopefully left 'frantic' far behind and have discovered, balance, flow, connections, setting intentional priorities, and am embracing the excitement of the ongoing journey and processes ahead of me for the coming year.

So, I ask myself "how do I train now?", "what can I learn from the past?", "and what will my training look like going forward?" I have new insights and knowledge to draw from and am grateful to Sifu Brinker and for that one little word - 'frantic'.

Priorities

I've taken some learnings from my last blog (Wow day!/intentional relaxation) and continued to build on it this week. Each day now starts with 3 intentional priorities based on my needs for the day. I have a clear intent as to what I want to accomplish for the day leaving me with additional time and space for the natural flow of other tasks and events throughout the day. 

Having been sick (negative for Covid) all week required that I carefully consider what priorities I set for myself each day while still taking care of me. All of my priorities were successfully checked off and training also done everyday. I know that the successful completion of my training and reps are a result of not only making them a priority, but also writing them down as an intention for the day. Without that set intention it would have been easy to allow how I was feeling to take over and become an excuse not to train. For me, writing a goal down in black and white is a great motivator and reminder to get it done.

It is not about how much I can pack into a day. Instead it is about learning to live life more intentionally, developing awareness both internally and externally and allowing myself some flexibility to go with the flow. I've always felt that I was more of a 'go with the flow' type of person, and goal setting was not a skill in my toolbox. Aha moment: I was just missing the intentionality piece! 

I can still 'go with the flow' in a more intentional way and be more productive, procrastinate less, and enjoy an improved life balance. There is a measure of control over what gets accomplished as I set my priorities each day and decided where and when to fill in any available space. I am listening more to myself and the flow of each day and developing some goal setting skills. Unintentional additional productivity and relaxation is often a happy by product!

Numbers Update

 Numbers Update

I haven't posted a numbers update for quite some time and wanted to know for myself where I am at and also share with the team. Recording and tracking my numbers really does help to provide me with a snapshot of my accomplishments and areas for growth. Without this I would be mostly guessing. And guessing can lead to underestimating or overestimating. Both of which can be detrimental to success.

On one hand I am disappointed in the totals because I expected myself to do better and yet on the other hand as I look over what I did accomplish, I am reminded of how much I was able to achieve over the year. I also know that these are more than just numbers and also represent only a fraction of the growth experienced throughout the year. 

Experience has taught me that when I am diligent in recording my numbers and have a set goal for each day, I am more successful. I've missed out on recording some numbers and because of that they will not be reflected in my final totals at the end of the year. 

No quitting ✔ 

Push ups 36,326

Sit ups 38,775

Lau Gar 1096

Shoto 1063

Sparring 137 X stopped keeping track

Kilometres 648 X stopped keeping track

Acts of Kindness 804

Mend a Relationship ✔

Journal min 1x week ✔

Featured Journal Posts ✔

Online Presence ✔

Tiger Challenge - ✔

Zero Unexcused Absences ✔ 

Excel in Curriculum - Instructors would need to judge

SRKF Projects - 2 projects, SRKF Virtual Auction & Livestream Table of Contents

Mastery - Reading most days, 3/4 complete

Wow Day!

I was blessed with a truly relaxing day during the Christmas break. Even though I often add relaxation and down time into my days and weeks I am still left feeling that it is not enough. So what was different this time? It all started with a primary intention of relaxation. I then allowed that intention to fluctuate and adapt to the flow of my thoughts and needs throughout the day. I found that the day evolved with a natural rhythm and flow of its own. I wasn't burdened with thoughts of stuff that I should be getting done and didn't experience any guilt as a result. 

My focus for most of the day was working on a large puzzle and taking some time to read. Adjustments to the original primary intention occurred gently and naturally. As I relaxed I found myself taking a break to shovel the driveway. Not because I knew it needed to be done, but because I found myself motivated to do it. There were also a few additional tasks here and there through out the day in between relaxation time that happened as well. The ebb and flow of the day took place naturally. Nothing was forced. Rather than trying to fit in some relaxation time around all of life's stuff and feeling guilty, I made relaxation the intent and priority and adapted as I allowed tasks to happen naturally around relaxation. 

I also noticed as the day progressed that time seemed to be advancing at a much slower pace than usual. There was still plenty of evening left and I had accomplished what I had set out to do with the added bonus of getting extra tasks completed and feeling more than satisfied and completely relaxed.

There was purpose and completion without obligation or guilt. I was able to allow the day to flow naturally and adapt where and when I wanted. I had control over my actions and reactions which resulted in a very gratifying day. Wow, what an amazing gift!