Where Am I ...

Where am I? 

I’m a bit stuck

 - after 2 weeks away I’m finding it a bit challenging to get back on track. It feels like I’ve got one foot on and one foot off. I'm mostly enjoying the scenery as I ride the slow train around and around. There is upward trajectory. The thing is, I know I could be doing more. Or maybe I'm right where I should be at this time. Hmm? Keeping mediocrity at bay has been more of a struggle this year. Thank goodness for the IHC. Without it I'd still be at the train station not knowing where to go or what to do.

What Am I Doing?

Making connections

- The connections I've been experiencing recently are very different from each other and yet they each hold a similar underlying message. The universe is showing me what I am capable of and reminding me of the value of practice. The IHC meeting on Thursday helped to pull everything together and provide the final poke needed. The awareness was already there, I was just trying to dodge the pokes.

 1.  Recent yoga sessions have included candle gazing as part of the routine. Simply put, I light my candle and gaze at the flame, then close my eyes. The goal is to hold the image of the flame with eyes closed. I'm sometimes able to see the shape of the candle in shadow or even the flame itself. The flame can appear as a darker flickering spot or have a slight orange glow. I can hold the image for a short time before it fades away. The connection I made at the time is how similar it is to my Kung Fu and anything in life really. It's very simple, the more I practice the better I will get.

2.  Tai Chi is a wonderful tool that is giving me much insight into my six harmonies and my chi. I recently had the most unusual and amazing experience while practicing at home. There was a moment while practising Tai Chi 4 where everything fell into place and I could actually feel the ground move with me. I wasn't just moving across the floor, it was a sensation of carrying the ground with me as I moved. Just like candle gazing this is something that will continue to develop with practice, time and patience. 

3.  The 5 applications has been on my mind lately as the candidates prepare. I think back to how much I struggled with this myself last year. I had felt completely out of my element and unable to see a way forward. Perseverance and support from my instructors and my partner helped get me to a successful completion, learning so much along the way, while having fun. The connection here is a reminder of what I can do when I put my mind to it and the barriers I can break through.  

Where am I going?

- That is a much more difficult question to answer. There will always be things out of my control. I think though there is more in my control than I give myself credit for. I have some thoughts and ideas on how to proceed. Firstly, I know I want to incorporate more consistent practice into my day. Some of that will be very intentional practice and some will be practice with focus on letting go of ego and outcome.

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 880/29800
Hand form: 6/395
Weapon form: 8/423
KM: 29/1140
AOK: 34/993
Sparring: 2/159
Blogs: 1/38
Yoga: 30/18.5 hrs
Tai Chi: 12/535
MM:24/750