This past week has been all about having a one day at a time or one positive choice at time approach. Success is measured in each healthy meal I eat, every glass of water I drink. a mindful moment, practicing gratitude, a walk with the dog, a tai chi class attended in person and the occasional counter push up. Every positive aspect of my life helps me to manage the emotional stress I find myself currently navigating.
Dad has now been in hospital for 2 weeks. A fall at home brought him to the hospital, thankfully with no serious injuries, but it was discovered he had moderate hypothermia. His dementia always adds another layer of challenges when it comes to testing and treatments anytime he is in hospital. He can become agitated and more confused. At the beginning of week 2 it was ascertained he most likely had a seizure even though he takes medication for them. They are difficult to discern because outward signs of his seizures are almost non existent and after effects mimic dementia symptoms. After increasing his medication dad has fallen into an almost coma like state. Difficult to know if this is the result of a prolonged seizure, the higher dose of medication or a combination of both.
In addition to being at the hospital daily to support my dad, I'm also having to try to educate myself so I can help make decisions that I don't feel qualified to make. Making decisions that greatly impact another persons life or quality of life weighs on me.
So I continue to practice gratitude and remind myself over and over again - "I get to..." I get to be here for my dad, I get to be here for myself, I get to experience life! And I trust I'll know when the time is right to let him go and pass peacefully.
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