100%

Am I giving 100%?

What does 100% percent look like?

Well I can say with certainty that my 100% has changed these past few weeks. I had a brief thought that I wasn't giving 100% in class until I quickly realized my efforts just looked and felt different because I was different. My 100% may feel more like 70 - 90 % right now and that's ok because I know that I am still pushing myself and putting in effort that is doable for my current state of being.

I have been consumed with cleaning out my dad's acreage these past few months. 30 plus years of stuff has required numerous hours of work and mental effort. Sorting and making decisions on what to keep, donate or recycle all takes time and physical effort. With the help of family and friends these past 3 weeks, we are finally in the home stretch. 

There are days lately when I feel physically and mentally depleted. I am running on close to empty some days. By the time class starts I am almost depleted. I could stay home and remind myself how tired I am, but I know that Kung Fu doesn't add to my stress instead it reduces my stress. Kung Fu also helps to ground me which is why starting my day with some training is so important. The alternative to going to class is laying on the couch not learning, not doing, not moving forward, and feeling guilty.

The bump in the road that I'm currently experiencing will pass. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am moving forward with compassion for myself and without regrets.

Sparring

Sparring is slowly becoming more manageable. I am not as anxious as I once was so that is a step in the right direction. I was able to spar with 3 different black belts last night. In the past I would have found that very intimidating. The intimidation factor is still there, but I've experienced and understand the control they have and present, which helps me to stay a bit calmer. 

At one point I called a time out with my partner. I was feeling my ability to remain calm and controlled was decreasing quickly. A quick reset was all that was needed. I am getting better at expressing my limits and communicating with my partner. A common theme I found working with different people was keeping my guards up and blocking are a big area in need of improvement!

Something I didn't expect was how I felt by the time I made it home. For some reason I was really feeling at loose ends, at odds with myself. The only thing I can figure out is possibly a bit of post-adrenaline blues. I found it rather annoying because I felt the class had been beneficial and I had participated to the best of my current ability and learned. 

Overall I felt that last nights sparring was a good step forward for me. Every opportunity to spar helps me to develop control, practice staying calm and I am learning to adapt in the moment.   

Where Am I? What Am I Doing?

Prioritizing my mental and emotional health has helped with my focus and approach this year. I am less concerned with the destination. I feel that my pace has been slow, steady and manageable. There are times though when I question whether I am doing enough. This usually happens when I allow the destination to briefly override the importance of the journey itself. 

Making a list of the positive actions taken has helped me to have a clear picture of my efforts and the steps I am taking which I know are helping me to move forward.

Positive Actions

I have adapted my training to mostly mornings. This gives me a more consistent training routine and starts my day with a sense of accomplishment. 

I've incorporated more sparring drills into my routine. Now I just need to be more consistent with them.

Weekly lessons are worked on throughout the week. I am finding more than enough content here to practice with out needing to add additional stuff into my training.

Helping out with the Level One class has been beneficial and will continue to be.

One on one's have become part of my weekly routine.

Restarted Tai Chi classes which will help with mental and emotional health, strengthening micro muscles,  and the six harmonies.

Blogging has been consistent. There is room for improvement and I am looking forward to discovering more about myself and my Kung Fu as I continue to utilize this tool.

I am engaged!

Tiger Challenge

The Tiger Challenge is about saying yes to opportunity and putting yourself out there. It is a huge motivational tool to help students in their training and expand their comfort levels. It is a fun and friendly tournament that inspires us to participate within a safe school environment.

What do I love about the Tiger Challenge?

I love the ceremony of the event. Starting the day off with a lion dance helps to ground me in the beauty and art of Kung Fu. It is a great way to start the day! 

I love to watch and I am inspired by each student that steps outside their comfort zone when they stand in front of the judges for their event. A combination of confidence, nerves, joy and effort is evident in all.

I love to watch the creativity of students that enter and perform in the musical events.

I love to see the progression of skill and engagement in students form the youngest to the advanced. 

I plan for and love to stay for the entire day so that I can watch or be involved in as many events as possible. I am there for my events and to cheer on others throughout the day.

By the end of the day I am be filled with a sense of accomplishment. And with that sense of accomplishment I grow as a person no matter how I place when it comes to metals won or lost. The beauty is I took part, I stepped out of my comfort zone, lessons were learned, fun was had and positive steps forward were taken. After all we are a school of likeminded individuals training, learning and growing at our own pace and together, providing support and encouragement for all.

I am an Artist!

As time passes I am learning to embrace the creativeness that resides within me. I almost always find myself somewhat surprised when I discover a creative spark and the resulting product that arises when I allow the spark to blossom. My most creative and artistic moments over the past years have been a result of my training and involvement in Kung fu. It is the training and subsequent evolution that has helped to nourish the creativity that is a part of who I am. 

Creating my own hand form initially started with a blank canvas. I then added in an imaginary opponent to battle. My focus was intent as I put together sequences of blocks and strikes to battle my imaginary foe. Some components came together almost of their own making. As I penciled things in and erased bits and penciled in more I could feel one particular section that really embodied my inner creativity. It was a move that was based on the cross over step/hop technique that we do at the beginning of Lao Gar. I had used the footwork and adapted the rest to create my own technique. In addition to creating my own sequence of techniques, my creativity had evolved further into creating a variation of a school technique. The overall form though at that point was still in its initial stages of development, but building nicely.

The turning point for me was feedback I received 2 weeks before our beta version was due. It was that feedback that helped me to spread my wings even further. Having experienced my ability to take my training and skill and stitch it together with creativity helped me to feel the excitement of possibility. I felt motivated and empowered to think outside the box. 

All the building blocks of my training were at my disposal. I was no longer just pulling from individual techniques learned in school forms. My form evolved as a result of intent, the six harmonies, expansion and contraction, flow and phrasing to name a few. Kempo and Hung Gar styles factored in as well. For what seems like the first time I have the ability to recognize areas that can easily be adapted. A projection step added in to close or create distance, a block becomes a strike or even better, both. The base remains the same with a simple change in intent creating alternate possibilities. 

I am an artist! My creative hand form tells a story of conflict and battle. It is also an evolving story of my training as a martial artist. A culmination of knowledge, skill and creative awareness. That blank canvas is no longer blank and has now become something amazing. I am excited to continue to learn and grow as the year progresses. 

Numbers - February & March

There are many thoughts circulating around my head right now. First of all I misplaced my record book containing recorded numbers for the end of January and most of February. Thankfully I was able to find some numbers etc in my office that had been noted. Because I have no record of anything lost it is like it didn't happen and yet even though the numbers may have been lost I know there has been progression. 

The year started off slow even if I hadn't misplaced my book. I was fully aware my journey would start slow, but it is still challenging to see so early on how much I am behind. I'm working at pushing my ego aside and not comparing myself to others. I am reminding myself that taking care of me comes first and that is my primary goal for this year. 

So when I take more of an objective look at my progress I can see improvement and my trajectory heading in an upward angle. Adjustments have been made to my training routine which now mostly takes place at the start of the day. I just have to sort out how and when to add in more yoga as I don't often have time for all of it in the morning. Acts of kindness have become easier to track, mostly because I'm more mindful and aware of moments and opportunities throughout the day. Thanks to Todai Ferris my KM's are much easier to track with the Fitbit she passed onto me. I am pleasantly surprised how many steps and kilometers are traveled each day!

 

Numbers  - February, 2023

PU - 1230                 Sparring - 72         

SU - 1180                 KM - 0                

Hand Form - 23       AOK - 15

Weapon - 62            Yoga - 90 min

Numbers - March, 2023/Combined Totals

PU - 3575/4805                  Sparring - 210/282         

SU - 3300/4480                  KM - 147/147                

Hand Form - 114/137        AOK - 261/276

Weapon - 81/143               Yoga - 220m/310m

Clarity & Balance

I have been trying to bring more clarity and balance to my life and my training. As I dug deeper into what this means for me and how to effectively move forward I found myself naturally steered towards the importance of recognizing my strengths and weaknesses or areas for improvement. Improving my clarity and balance requires a deeper understanding of both. I also know that in addition to working on my weaknesses I will also need to continue to nurture my strengths.

Strengths create a solid base to operate from, provide confidence and serve me in my ability to continue moving forward. This is also where ego can gain hold. Ego can be subtle and sneaky or full on obvious.  Ego likes to puff us up and tell us we are great, we are good enough and when this happens mediocrity takes hold creating weakness within the strength. 

Viewing our strengths as gifts I think can help to keep the ego in check. When I think of a strength as something to be nurtured and something to be grateful for I am more apt to not take that ability or quality for granted. Nurturing helps me to understand where I am and what I am doing, which creates awareness and the potential for additional self directed positive change. 

Weaknesses are character traits that are considered negative or skills that are underdeveloped. And because of this weaknesses are full of potential growth and opportunities. My anxiety definitely made the weakness list and yet it has contributed immensely to some of my strengths. Almost to the point that I could have placed it on the strength side. Move over anxiety! It is time to focus on some of my other weaknesses.

When looking at my list of weaknesses it can be daunting to think about the work and effort needed to make improvements. This is because ego steps in and tries to wrap me up in a protective bubble telling me stories meant't to keep me from discomfort and moving forward. The ability to be objective can help me to say "thank you ego, move aside, I've got this". My development is at stake and I will fulfill my human potential!

What helps me keep my strengths in check and moving forward?

Ego check - thank you ego, move aside, I've got this

IHC - like minded people

Mastery

Gratitude

Feedback - for clarity and balance


What helps me address my weaknesses without invalidating myself?

Believe in myself, use positive self talk, gratitude

Ego check - thank you ego, move aside, I've got this

Read mastery over and over again

Utilize my strengths to help overcome weaknesses

Feedback - for clarity and balance