Tai Chi

I have been dabbling in Tai Chi for a number of years now. The first few sessions of Tai Chi were challenging. I often felt frustrated and overwhelmed. As an anxious person I would get stressed easily and over think everything which also affects my memory and coordination. Due to this the relaxation and meditative aspect of Tai Chi was almost at times completely lost on me. Looking back it was partially a case of adding too much onto my plate as I also navigated my Kung Fu, the IHC and chronic anxiety. 

Even though Tai Chi was a struggle it was also a huge benefit to the rest of my Kung fu. As the bumps started to smooth out I began to feel some flow within the easier pieces and this started to translate into my forms. After a number of starts and stops for different reasons I have come to a place where I feel the desire to learn and integrate Tai Chi into my life on and off the mats. Tai Chi is one of my personal goals this year and will blend in very nicely with my weapon, the Tai Chi straight sword.

I’m a much different Tai Chi student today than I was in the past. The person I am today is much more relaxed when it comes to learning and navigating new things. I’ve learned to slow down a bit and take things in instead of going to battle and trying to force something that isn’t quite there yet. As a result I’m feeling and noticing more. 

Tai Chi has the ability to change my mood from stressed or uptight to one of relaxation and awareness. In addition to the meditative aspects of Tai Chi I am making important discoveries. I am aware of when my heel starts to lift. I can feel my core engage and the difference it makes. And for the first time I’m beginning to understand and feel movement in my knees and how they relate to my 6 harmonies. With the connection and engagement of the knees I feel more grounded and an ease of movement in transitions. Even though these moments have been brief they are there and I am excited to build on them.

Totals

Push ups: 1130/2990
Situps: 1130/2990
Hand form:18/61
Weapon form:11/44
KM: 31/93
AOK: 42/104
Sparring: 2/9
Blogs: 1/5
Yoga: 60min/3hr
Tai Chi: 17/57
MM:26/68

Turning Duh to Aha!

Tuesday nights lesson - We went over the transition in Lao Gar I from the front thrust kick into a horse stance with a vertical punch. There was a definite duh... moment in my brain with the lesson. Not at all the way I had been doing it. And as I attempted to do the transition differently it felt awkward and very wrong. I went back doing the transition the way it felt good and interestingly I felt and recognized something I hadn't noticed before. I felt more exposed during the transition and even overly committed to the horse stance. Application started to work its way into my brain which is good because it helped me to understand why we would need to transition differently. 

As the week continued I've drawn from my training to help navigate this transition. And after a few conversations with Sifu Rybak and Sihing L Ward I finally feel some progress in the right direction. Even though the transition still doesn't feel great, I am feeling greater hip engagement and rotational energy which helps to give the vertical punch more power.

Thursday night's IHC - We started with some kick combos and finished with trying to join together 2 spinning back kicks with one in the opposite direction. I could feel the forward trajectory of the 1st kick which I know can be used to my advantage with the 2nd kick. There are some possibilities. More to work on here and figure out. 

Level 2 Teen/Adult  - A couple of weeks ago Sihing Burke was providing instruction to the class and focusing on a section of Lao Gar II. She had pointed the transition from the horse stance to a right lead bow stance with the block and strike sequence that many of us were not doing correctly. I was 'kicking' out my left foot as I transitioned into the bow stance which helped to engage the left hip for the strike. I felt stability in my stance, hip engagement and power. How could it be wrong? Another duh, really?... moment that I've been tossing around, trying to work on.

A couple weeks later (Saturday open training) I had an opportunity to ask Sifu Rybak about the lesson. What I needed and received was slightly different vocabulary and a bit more in depth explanation. The lesson was still the same and helped to build on what Sihing Burke had already provided. The conversation with Sifu Rybak has helped me to understand if I only focus on 'kicking out the back foot I end up in more of a Kempo bow stance versus a Lao Gar stance.

Duh now becomes aha, and the aha has grown as I compare both ways of doing the transition. If I only focus on 'kicking' out the back foot I end up in more of a Kempo bow stance versus a Lao Gar stance. When I start the transition from my right foot, I end up in more of a Lao Gar style bow stance. I can see and feel the difference. The back foot moves as needed, but becomes more of a pivot. I'm still getting proper hip engagement and power and something else I discovered is the heel of my back foot feels more connected to the ground. I also feel this is now a more controlled transition. 

The above are all great examples of how something can feel very right and yet not be correct. I could have brushed some of those lesson off as being not for me and I came close to doing that in one instance. Fortunately once knowledge has been provided I find it difficult to ignore. 

Totals

Push ups: 1010/1860
Situps: 1010/860
Hand form:26/43
Weapon form:29/33
KM: 26/62
AOK: 27.63
Sparring: 4/7
Blogs: 2/4
Yoga: 60/120
Tai Chi: 22/40
MM:28/42

25 Great Rabbit Year Memories

I had started making a list and then got sidetracked and forgot all about it. Better late than not at all. So here is my list.

1.  Thinking about not joining the Rabbit team and then making the decision to join regardless of the chaos in my life.
2. 2nd degree stripes on my brown belt.
3. Tiger Challenge - This was the 1st school tournament where my nerves and anxiety were under control.
4. Practicing and performing a fight choreography with Todai Ferris and Todai Csillag for the Tiger challenge.
5. Creating my own hand form and giving it a name. Hu Shou Yu Long - Tiger Hands with Dragon.
6. Everything I learned through the creation of my hand form.
7. Friends and family that helped with the huge job of cleaning out my dad's acreage.
8. My one on one with Sifu Brinker about ego that really helped me to gain an even deeper understanding of ego and anxiety.
9. Not rushing through the questions for Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance helped me to recognize their value and relevance to my own journey.
10. Making time to enjoy life - staycation downtown Edmonton with a friend, a spa retreat and camping.
11. Sifu Rybak's fun team bonding and engagement games.
12. Being part of another back to school week at the Kwoon.
13. Struggling through the broadsword form and finally remembering the sequence consistently.
14. Wanting to walk away from the broadsword form and not giving up.
15. Experiencing a class when I felt mostly calm and in control while sparring and feeling hopeful.
16. My son Dustin flying home to celebrate my 60th birthday.
17. Numerous aha moments throughout the year while training.
18. Pushing myself in class and feeling good about where I am and what I'm doing.
19. Getting and appreciating all the feedback from blackbelts and instructors throughout the year.
20. Working on my 5 applications with Todai Ferris and benefiting from her patience and our joint collaboration.
21. Experiencing many moments of enjoyment with my 5 applications after all the struggles I overcame.
22. Sharing this year of the Rabbit with Logan and appreciating his guidance and wisdom.
23. Breaking my 1st wood board on demo day with control and experiencing a pain free break.
24. Leading A week in the IHC challenge and watching all the great team videos.
25. The culmination of an amazing year at our Year of the Dragon banquet. My pleasant surprise at receiving the attendance award, my speech, our team demos, family, friends and community all coming together for the event and my promotion to blackbelt.

The Same Yet Different

My first week after the banquet unfolded quite nicely. I went to the level 2 Young Dragon class to help for the 1st time and found it inspiring. The kids are great! This will be a regular class for me going forward. I also helped with the Teen/Adult class on Wednesday and plan to continue being at the Kwoon for Tai Chi and Teen/Adult classes every Wednesday night. 

'Where am I?' and 'What am I doing?' is is very much at the front of my mind as I navigate the newness of everything. Replacing some old habits with new habits will help to keep me on my toes and increase mindfulness. And I know that developing and improving my teaching skills will be an ongoing process that will improve with time and effort.

1 week post Banquet and there is much newness to navigate. To a great extent most everything is the same and yet different. I can feel changes internally which is not something I expected. There are times when I almost feel as if I'm looking through a different set of eyes.

Totals

Push ups: 650/850
Situps: 650/850
Hand form:17/17
Weapon form:4/4 - Broken hand has slowed me down
KM: 26/36
AOK: 21/36
Sparring: 3/3
Blogs: 1/2
Yoga: 30/60
Tai Chi: 18/18
MM:14

Learn About a New Charity

It would be very easy to end up down a rabbit hole while looking at a new to me charity, but when I thought about causes that speak to me, I was able to narrow my focus. Very quickly I found a charity called "Right To Play" that is dedicated to children. 

As I read about the charity it brought to mind and reinforced the importance of our kids classes and curriculum at SRKF. The increased lion and dragon dance content is a great example of building confidence, teamwork and leadership through play.

Right To Play - Their mission statement: To protect, educate, and empower children to rise above adversity using the power of play.

https://righttoplay.ca/en-ca/about-us/

Banquet Day - Year of the Dragon

What stood out for me on Saturday is how relaxed I felt with just a tiny bit of nerves. 

There were times when I was able to stand back and take it all in and times when I was actively engaged with our team demos, being in the moment. 

Delivering a speech in front of 200+ people is a first for me and a moment I will remember with pride.

And being presented with the attendance award was surprising and a great feel good moment.

Tying that black belt around my waist was just the start of the next phase of my journey. It's interesting because once that belt was tied around my waist we became one and the same. I barely noticed it afterwards and yet I simply need to look at it around my waist to remind myself of how far I've traveled and the journey to come. An anchor to help keep me mindful, aware and present.

There will forever be fond memories of all the hugs and congratulations (we need more hugs on a regular basis).

The tradition of sledding at the end of the night was a fun finish and it was great to see the number of sledders growing in size. 

Thank you to everyone that helped to make this day a success. I am grateful and appreciate the time and efforts that contributed to another amazing Chinese New Year Banquet. 

I couldn't have asked for a better and more complete day!

Totals

Push ups: 200
Situps: 200   
KM: 10     
AOK: 15            
Blogs: 1          
Yoga: 30 min

Black Belt Speech

Black Belt Speech

It is said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step!

A little over 10 years ago I took that first step when I signed up to be a student at SRKF. Unknown to me at the time, it turned out to be a life changing decision propelling me forward on a journey I never would have imagined.

Prior to kung fu, my anxiety was mostly managed through avoidance whenever possible. Signing up as a student and stepping out onto the mats was out of my comfort zone and brought a lot of anxiety to the surface. And yet for some intangible reason I felt compelled to continue.

There were times over the years where I considered quitting. I'd feel like my training had hit a wall that there was just no getting over or around. I'd think, maybe I'm too old, too uncoordinated, or this is too hard on my body. These are the sort of stories we tell ourselves to justify quitting and not following through when the going gets tough or becomes uncomfortable.

A change in perspective is often needed to help see through those clouds of self doubt. Thankfully I was able to navigate the challenges by reaching out to the many supportive people around me. As a parent it was also important to set a good example for my son Logan who went on to earn his black belt 4 years ago.

A pivotal point in my journey came when I made the decision to join the IHC team for the first time. I had only been a student for about 1 year when an opportunity to join the team presented itself. It sounded intriguing and also down right scary, but I thought why not give it a go. Just reading those IHC requirements of 50,000 push ups and sit ups, demos, public blogging, form reps and more, almost had me running in the opposite direction. The IHC was challenging mentally, physically and emotionally and also proved to be a catalyst towards self discovery and self improvement.

What has Kung fu done for me?

Kung Fu has taught me that strength comes in many forms. I have built up physical strength and endurance over the years, I've learned to listen to my body, how to better take care of it and how and when to push my limits.

Some of the biggest leaps forward have been in my emotional and mental strength. I have become more comfortable with my anxiety and have learned how to manage it better. And in the process I've gained some appreciation as to how anxiety has shaped me and actually made me stronger. I am able to see past the challenges and perceived weaknesses and have awareness of the lessons and gifts I've gained.

The past 10 years as a student at SRKF has given me the courage to take many steps I may not have taken otherwise. I attended post secondary school for the first time at the age of 52, I had the confidence to change career paths, and I have travelled to many exotic destinations - often on my own. These are just a few of the many benefits I have experienced as a result of kung fu.

As an ongoing member of the IHC team I've learned to dragon dance, compete annually in our school Tiger challenge, perform in public demos and maintain a public blog. I've also spearheaded a few school projects along the way - going outside my comfort zone and stretching my bubble.

Kung fu has improved my confidence. It has taught me - and continues to teach me to be a participant in life rather than watching from the sidelines.

I am standing here in front of you today as an example of what a person can accomplish when they persevere and don't give up. - And I feel humbled by the experience.

What does it mean to be a blackbelt going forward?

While it has taken me 10 years to get to this point, I feel my journey has barely begun. I am excited for the year ahead which I know will be filled with many more lessons and growth. I recognize the enormous amount of responsibility that comes with not only being a student, but also a leader and a teacher. - As a blackbelt I pledge to continue my journey with an open heart and an open mind!

Thank you

Thank you to my family and friends for your support over the years. It means the world to me!

Thank you to my dad for being such a great role model. I am grateful for your quiet strength and unwavering support.

And a huge shout out to Silent River Kung Fu. I am blessed and thankful to be a part of this amazing school and community.