Mindful Walking

I knew going into the long weekend and spending a couple of days camping I would need to change up how I incorporated Kung Fu into my days. Practicing mindfulness while enjoying nature and getting in some extra steps was at the top of the list. And as I was out and about on the trails I realized there was another opportunity to apply a recent lesson to my walking. 

On the 1st day while walking I focused on my core and staying centered. What I found is my legs were not having to do the majority of the work and my upper body was feeling a bit more relaxed while still being engaged, causing less energy needing to be expelled. The best way to describe how I felt and how my body moved is 'more efficient.' 

On the 2nd day I hadn't slept well and was feeling tired so being mindful of engaging my core while on a long walk was more challenging. I did have moments though where everything clicked. There were even a few times when I felt taller while also feeling centered and grounded. An interesting feeling!

My goal with this is to continue to work on engaging my core, develop consistency and have it become a natural way of moving and apply it to my forms. 

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 940/20200
Hand form: 9/287
Weapon form: 22/300
KM: 35/623
AOK: 31/632
Sparring: 0/118
Blogs: 1/23
Yoga: 0/10.5hrs
Tai Chi: 18/380
MM:23/487

Crossroads - Teaching

At times I feel grounded and then there are times when I don't.

I've built consistency into my life and yet lately I feel I lack consistency.

I'm also struggling and thriving at the same time.

It feels like I have reached a crossroads, a time of decisive action.

 - There are two paths to choose from. I know the path I need and want to travel. It is the one with the big sign pointing towards mastery. The twisty, winding road with hidden corners and obstacles. I know it is also the path with people cheering me on and leads me to even more personal growth.

- The other path that calls to me is welcoming and warm, but I know it stops short of really going anywhere. It is easy street, making false promises. In fact it is really just a facade for mediocrity.

Both paths run side by side and I find myself stepping from one to the other, being pulled towards mediocrity. The thing is I've been on the path towards mastery for quite some time now, working at reducing mediocrity in my life. I know I will continue on this path. Why then do I feel myself pulled towards mediocrity? The reason is I've reached a different level of discomfort and uncertainty causing internal struggle. I'm on the correct path, but am having trouble putting one foot in front of the other. There have been days where I've taken steps or even leaps forward and other days where I feel rooted in place or going backwards. Hmm..., similar to working on and progressing in our forms. 

As I falter and struggle there is a part of me that propels me forward in the right direction. It can be downright exhausting to have this inherent awareness of the pitfalls of mediocrity and the drive to travel the difficult and challenging path. I also know the benefits and personal growth are huge which is why I can't help but choose the correct path.

Mediocrity can be very enticing. I have more than enough in my life already without knowingly choosing additional mediocrity!

As I write this I already have a plan of action to help me forge ahead and continue my journey on the path towards mastery. It is going to take some planning, time and effort to achieve my goal and I know the resulting success will be worth it.

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 910/19260
Hand form: 10/278
Weapon form: 1/278
KM: 37/588
AOK: 31/601
Sparring: 0/118
Blogs: 1/22
Yoga: 0/10.5hrs
Tai Chi: 18/362
MM:25/464

Thankful for Kung Fu

I am a thinker often standing back watching, which can lead to procrastination. I'm also a doer, forging ahead getting things done. There is a constant Yin/Yang aspect of my being that requires awareness so I can make the necessary adjustments to bring things into balance.

Currently I'm on the verge of a much needed adjustment. My evenings outside of kung fu have been full of mediocrity and have become much too comfortable. And yet without mediocrity where would growth originate from? When Stuart Emery talks about embracing ordinariness I understand the potential for mastery. Developing awareness of our faults/ordinariness, being mindful and striving to be and do better can be difficult and exciting.

Thank goodness for kung fu! I have a record of where I'm at and what I'm doing. I know despite my faults I am moving forward. And helping out in classes continues to push me out of my comfort zone. I don't necessarily want to stretch my bubble, but I know I need to. Kung fu helps me to battle my inner laziness, combats procrastination, builds discipline and gives my life more meaning. 

As soon as I start to play it safe or become too comfortable I know it's time to shake things up. Now it's time to make some changes to my evening routine. 

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 1170/18350
Hand form: 13/268
Weapon form: 16/276
KM: 29/550
AOK: 28/570
Sparring: 20/118
Blogs: 1/21
Yoga: 30/10.5hrs
Tai Chi: 21/320
MM:26/413

My Plateau

I've come to a plateau.

This is not the first plateau I've come to and it won't be the last. My ego tells me this is a restful and easy place to be. My ego also tells me I can do better, I should be pushing myself to climb above the plateau. 

Interestingly, I believe this plateau is exactly where I am currently mean't to be. I'm in a place of learning, uncertainty and discovery. This plateau is a necessary and essential part of my journey towards mastery.

Until now I've not given much thought to what happens in between mediocrity and mastery. I've simply followed the IHC program as best as I can. Utilizing the many valuable tools has helped me to build discipline, self reflection and work towards developing a mastery mindset. I've come to a point where I need more.

I have the word 'mediocrity' and the word 'mastery' in my toolbox and I have a pretty good understanding of both. So what then is a word that helps to bridge the gap from one to the other? And why is this important?

1. It is important because it will help me to have a deeper understanding of what it takes to bridge the gap from one to the other. Another tool to add to my toolbox.

2. The word I discovered and settled on is 'commitment'! Again, interesting because the knowing was already there, just a bit fuzzy. It seems I needed to figure it out in my head for myself and make it my own. 

When I think about being on a plateau and wondering if I've allowed mediocrity in, I can stop to consider my level of commitment and engagement. And if I'm still learning, discovering and failing or succeeding I am still on a path towards mastery. 

Regardless of where my trajectory is at, my level of engagement and commitment is a pretty good measure of where I am and what I'm doing. I can then ask myself if it is effortless effort or mindful effort? And when I stop to assess where I am at, I can make adjustments up or down as needed or continue the current pace. 

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 1100/17180
Hand form: 20/255
Weapon form: 11/260
KM: 32/522
AOK: 30/542
Sparring: 5/98
Blogs: 1/20
Yoga: 30/10hrs
Tai Chi: 21/320
MM:26/413

Post Tiger Challenge

The Tiger Challenge is often a much needed motivation tool for me. Something I never really considered before is the momentum it creates afterwards as well. With the stress of the tournament over, I've been able to carry some of that momentum over into my daily training. What worked really well for me this week was training in the morning before I continued on with the rest of my day. 

The summer months can be a distraction and keeping up with personal and team requirements can be challenging. This past week showed me how perfect a morning routine can be. Prior to this week, I've been unsure as to how I would be able to maintain my training during these next few months.

I know a morning training routine works for me, I just can't seem to keep it up throughout the year. So maybe what will work is a morning routine during the summer months and a training routine throughout the day for the winter months. I'm slowly learning the rhythms of my life and when and how to make adjustments.

 Sometimes it is much needed momentum that helps to provide clarity and additional motivation.

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 1100/16100
Hand form: 11/235
Weapon form: 14/249
KM: 40/490
AOK: 28/512
Sparring: 2/93
Blogs: 1/19
Yoga: 30/9.5 hrs
Tai Chi: 17/299
MM:27/387

Discombobulated!

I've had a week of feeling off. A bit of irritability, impatience, anxiety and generally out of sorts. Some of these feelings can be attributed to work and some are a result of the Tiger Challenge. 

The Tiger Challenge is always a mix of emotions for me. This year there were extra layers of going out of my comfort zone as I would be competing in the blackbelt division for the first time and most likely in a role of judging events.

In the Young Dragons class this week I was given the opportunity to be a centre judge in a sparring ring. Watching and doing are very different and most of what I thought I knew left my brain. I fumbled a lot, but did ok. I felt bad that Todai Poonie injured her shin in the last match which left me thinking I could have maybe prevented the injury. 

During a conversation with Sihing Logan Ward, he commented that the student gained a valuable lesson and will have benefited from the injury. When he pointed that out I was able to remove the focus from myself and see the whole picture - student and instructor both learning. I didn't get to see Todai Poonie compete in the Tiger Challenge, but I did see she competed and earned a medal in sparring.

Knowing this would be a stressful week with the upcoming Tiger Challenge I planned for extra self care. The extra yoga sessions and Qi Gong throughout the week helped to mitigate anxiety and stress. I would also remind myself to put things into perspective when I found myself starting to get wound up.

Another Tiger Challenge has come and gone and I stepped out of my comfort zone. I competed in the blackbelt division for the first time and acted as a judge in the level 2 Teen/Adult division. I am less focused on the medals earned or not earned and more focused on the personal wins.

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 700/15000
Hand form: 9/224
Weapon form: 19/235
KM: 22/450
AOK: 28/484
Sparring: 2/91
Blogs: 1/18
Yoga: 1/9 hrs
Tai Chi: 23/282
MM:17/360

Mixed Emotions

Some wisdom from Seth Godin 

_The moments when it’s the most difficult to be kind are the moments where it matters the most._

Sifu Brinker posted this recently and it really resonates with me. It brings to mind a recent event providing an example of a moment that was difficult and provided an opportunity for mindful kindness.

I recently made the conscious choice to give my brother Kevin a hug! As I initiated the hug I remember thinking this is a fellow human being that most likely has not felt a warm physical connection with another person for a very long time and how sad that is. Given our history a hug was not top of my list of things to do, but I knew the difference and importance a simple hug could make. 

To put this into context both my brothers emotionally and financially abused my dad while living with him and Kevin had made serious threats to me and other family members resulting in a protection order against him. It wasn't until we got both brothers off the property and sold dad's acreage that things began to settle down. 

Dad hears from both of them occasionally and has had no further issues. Even though things have settled down, I know all that can change quite quickly. There is a pattern of behavior to keep in mind so I'm happy to keep my distance while monitoring the situation.

3 weeks ago Kevin appeared at my dad’s apartment with no where to go. Initially he just needed to stay 1 night and then attend court in Stony Plain the next morning. He was apologetic and sounding more reasonable than he had in a long time and had no where else to go. (He had been kicked out of his lodging the previous day)

Seeing him in person and talking with him after more than a year was a bit uncomfortable at first. During our initial conversation he mentioned he had made some personal connections in Alberta Beach area and wanted to continue to live there which really stood out for me. His life for the past 10 years had revolved around playing video games and listening to conspiracy podcasts with very little human interaction other than immediate family. Making social connections was a huge step forward for him and I saw that as a sign of hope.

The initial 1 night became another night and another and so on. I certainly didn't love the idea of Kevin staying for longer. I weighed past behaviours, his current emotional state, dad's well being and need to help and my own humanity. Knowing when and how to help without enabling can be challenging. That is where empathy, compassion and realistic expectations come into play. I also have a good understanding of each of us needing to walk our own paths.

The situation was not ideal and created some additional stress for dad and myself. We were waiting on a psych assessment to be done that had been ordered by the court. These things tend to take longer than expected so Kevin continued to sleep on dad's couch. At one point he left for a few days and then he came back, causing a few problems along the way. The psych assessment finally got done and Kevin is on medication which will hopefully help to even out his moods and allow him to function better in society.

 I was able to find my brother a place to stay short term in Alberta Beach that will hopefully help him to continue building relationships and dad is paying for most of the cost until subsidized housing gets processed and put in place. A big part of all of this is Kevin wants to be a functioning part of society with personal connections and is open to help. I put in some time and effort to not only help my brother but also help my dad who was becoming more and more stressed with Kevin and his current situation. 

Empathy, compassion and forgiveness come much easier to me than say 10 or even five years ago. I contribute this to Kung Fu and to all the mindful blogging I've done over the years. Because of this I also find it easier to let go and practice forgiveness. 

I believe there is even greater potential for positive ripples in the world when kindness takes place during difficult moments.

Totals

Push ups & Sit ups: 1150/14300
Hand form: 10/215
Weapon form: 14/216
KM: 30/427
AOK: 20/456
Sparring: 2/89
Blogs: 1/17
Yoga: 30/8hr
Tai Chi: 24/259
MM:24/343