School vs Art vs Students

The school..., the art... or the students ...? Which of these is most important and how would you prioritize each? We were asked this question at our last I Ho Chuan team meeting.

The past couple of years being a member of the I Ho Chuan team has taught me many valuable lessons. The first year I learned to look beyond my expectations, expand my perceptions and I was able to acknowledge and appreciate the alternative forks in the road that developed over the year. Blogging started as a big stumbling block for me in the first year. By the end of the first year I still struggled occasionally, but I developed an understanding for how important blogging is and why. And sometimes I even learned something while in the process of writing a blog which I think is pretty cool.

My second year brought with it some very important lessons as well. I didn't do as well with all the requirements compared to the first year, but I did learn that failure can create success. Perception can make a huge difference in how we view and react to situations. Take failure for instance; if you see failure as simply failure and attach negativity to it, then it is exactly that .... failure! Nothing is changed and nothing has been gained. However, if you were to take something that you failed at and break it down into the hows, why's, or whats and attach some positive thought, much could be learned and adjustments could then be made. Growth and forward momentum becomes a result. And I believe that is success, which leads to even greater success!

My ability to set goals, plan and execute has improved over the years as well. I have also learned to step back, assess situations and make adjustments along the way when something is not working. Developing a deeper level of understanding has been a result of taking the time to reflect, making use of available resources and connecting with supportive people along the way.

I've experienced big milestones and numerous smaller gems throughout the years. I know that being a member of the team has provided me with many opportunities and growth that I would not have had if the team did not exist. And I am sure that other members of the team over the years have had similar experiences. What we do as a team and as individual members affects those around us and creates a ripple effect out into the school and the community for years to come.

I see the development of Silent River Kung Fu as being similar to the process of learning the art of Kung Fu. The building of a school such as we are fortunate to train in takes enormous effort, hard work, intent, patience, trust and wise progression. Thank you to Sifu Brinker and everyone that has had a hand in making Silent River Kung Fu what it is today.

The I Ho Chuan team is a fundamental component of Silent River Kung Fu. But, without the school and Sifu Brinker we would not have the I Ho Chuan or anything else. So, I think the school has to come first. The school is our solid foundation that draws suitable students to learn the ancient art of Kung Fu. And I think the I Ho Chuan team helps to tie the school, the students and the art all together.

We have had many team members this year struggle for many different reasons and some have even been absent more than they have been here. Regardless of where each of us are at with our requirements and our personal goals there is still time to reflect on what worked and what didn't and why. For those on the team that really struggled, ask yourself what worked and what didn't and what did you get out of being a member of the I Ho Chuan? Turn some of your failures into successes!

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Mixed Feelings

I've had a wonderful time in Cambodia and Vietnam and feel blessed to have been able to travel and experience areas of these countries. The temples, the people and the food were all amazing! However, I have returned home with some mixed feelings. This is because I had a hard time seeing the amount of garbage every where we went. Most bigger businesses and homes of wealthy people made an effort to sweep and clean their little section out in front. Quite often you could see them sweep everything into a pile to the side and off their property, only concerned about their own section. There were very few garbage cans around, but I don't think they would have made much of a difference. In Saigon where we were told there was daily garbage pick up and even recycling, the garbage was still noticeable. And as we travelled away from the city center it only got worse. It was not surprising that the largest source of garbage was plastics. Even in poor underdeveloped countries there is an abundance of modern conveniences all wrapped up in plastic. Very little thought is given to disposal and the environment.

We also visited some very interesting outdoor markets selling an abundance of fresh produce and fish, seafood, etc. There was no lack of food items available for sale. Fruits, vegetables, rice and even insects were available. Yup, they eat crickets, worms, scorpions, tarantulas and what ever else you can think of. What broke my heart though was the fish being kept barely alive so that it was fresh and more money could be charged. Fish in 2 inches of water, 1 gill in the water and 1 gill out flopping around for hours. There were also ducks and chickens with their feet tied together laying out in the hot sun still alive but unable to move, just waiting for someone to purchase and butcher for the next meal. Large frogs that had been skinned and bundled together whole. Very little thought seems to be given to these creatures other than being a source of food.

It was very evident that we all have a responsibility when it comes to taking care of our environment and all creatures that are part of our world.  We can each take care of our own little postage stamp in this world or we can make a difference and reduce consumption, recycle, reuse and make conscious choices regarding the food that we buy and eat.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Pushing the Limits

I've arrived safely and have spent the past 3 days experiencing Siem Reap and the temples of the Ankor area. Traveling on my own and navigating the airports was not as challenging as I thought they might be. Thankfully I didn't let fear prevent me from travelling and experiencing Cambodia and Vietnam.

One of the excursions we were able to choose from was an ariel view of Angkor Wat from a tethered hot air balloon which I thought sounded pretty amazing. I am quite afraid of heights and a hot air balloon is not something I would usually sign up for, but I also didn't want to miss out on the view from the ballon. So, today I climbed aboard the hot air ballon and I am happy to say that it was not as scary as I thought it would be and I was actually able to enjoy the view.

It can be very easy to pull back from things that make us uncomfortable. I know that I do this much too often and yet there are also times when I push myself to do something that is outside my bubble. And quite often the event is not as bad as what I thought it would be. The more I push myself the greater my life experiences and opportunities become.

I had an interesting thought while composing this blog because in our kungfu training we also have bubbles and fears which affect our training and ability to progress. By pushing our limits and expanding our bubbles we actually gain more control, calmness and our personal circle of power expands and works more efficiently.

Traveling solo is not ideal, but it does allow me opportunities to expand my bubble and gain confidence in myself and my abilities.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Opportunity & Adventure

I’m off on another work adventure that is taking me to Cambodia and Vietnam. This is an opportunity that came up only a month ago and I was able to find another consultant to travel with me. However, my travel companion has had to cancel and it is now just me traveling on my own. Luckily I was still able to go as a single at no cost. I know that I will be fine once I get to my destination, but I am not crazy about the long flights and the connection/ long layover in Hong Kong. I am also not comfortable in new social situations and having no one that I know close by. That being said there was no way I was going to miss out on experiencing Cambodia and Vietnam which was on my list of places to travel to. Once I get to Siem Reap I will be with a group of 20-50 people for 13 days. Everything will be taken care of for us so there is nothing to worry about. I am nervous but super excited also!

Namaste,
Michele Ward

Whoa - Slow Down!

2 months ago I had initiated a hard restart. My goal was 300 push ups and sit ups every day. I did great the first week and after some health issues slowed down a bit, but averaged 200 of each for the first month which is still pretty decent. As a result, I can relate my increased effort to an increase in sales at work. This is a huge benefit, but comes with a much bigger work load. During month 2,  I struggled to find some balance with the increased work load, getting ready for the Tiger Challenge, working on requirements, my second job and just regular life in general. Push ups and sit ups started to slow down again. I would definitely think of them from time to time, but was reluctant to make the time or put in the effort for fear of benefiting even more. It seemed that as I slowed down on some of the requirements I found myself able to catch up on work projects and create a bit more balance.

This weekend I was reminded that we are never given more than we can handle. Anything thrown our way is an opportunity for learning and growth and can be managed with the correct tools and perspective. So, I'm doing a bit of mind reset and taking some deep breaths as I restart yet again.

Michele Ward,

Namaste

Forms

This year I chose 18 Temple Motions as my hand form and I have thoroughly enjoyed learning and discovering the details along the way. Once I was able to execute the form from start to finish I then started to work on smoothing things out and adding some flow. I'm not the best at asking for help, but It really is the best way to progress to the next level. I have enjoyed working with Sifu Hayes and some of the other black belts. Everyone has has been a great source of information and guidance and I couldn't have gotten to where I am with out their help.

I have been feeling pretty good about what I had accomplished with my form and where I was at. At the tiger challenge I was able to stay and watch some of the black belt events and got to see 18 Temple Motions performed at a much higher level. As I watched I thought about what I needed to work on in my own form. And I realized that I had questions that needed some answers. Asking questions to better understand the form would help determine intent within the form. And having a better understanding of the intent will hopefully help me improve my own performance of the form. I think that there can be a lot going on in a soft form that isn't obvious to others watching compared to a form like Kempo for example. I love the discoveries and details learned along the way. Regardless of the form you are working on 1000 reps involves much more than simply repeating the form over and over. Simply going through the motions won't get anyone the desired results they are after.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Tiger Challenge

Another tiger challenge has come and gone and for those students that chose not to participate or were just not able to attend, a fabulous opportunity was missed. There is something about the Tiger Challenge that has always prompted me to push myself out of my comfort zone and perform in a number of events. Why do I do it? Well probably because I tend to be somewhat competitive and it is a safe, fun environment where a person can step out of their comfort zone surrounded by their Kung Fu Family.  A family that cheers and supports each other no matter the outcome. I also do it because it pushes me to find the time train more. There is nothing like a little deadline to light the fire.

I found this year to be especially rewarding. Rewarding, because I participated and made it out alive! I'm not sure that I can say it gets any easier for me, but it is so worth while! The most rewarding was watching certain students step out onto the mats and take the challenge. Many of the students have to really push themselves to compete in various events and I witnessed some wonderful examples of what the Tiger Challenge can do for people if they are willing to take a chance and put in some extra effort. 

Kudos to everyone that participated, organized, helped out and cheered everyone on.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Challenges

My immune system and health has always been relatively good and I rarely suffer from colds or the flu. Healthy choices and exercise play an important role, but as my grandma used to say "some people are just born with a strong constitution." However as I age, I become more aware of the importance of a healthy lifestyle, a positive attitude and listening to what my body is telling me.

This year has been a much different year for me and a bit challenging health wise. In addition to to having bursitis in both knees I had some lower back issues up earlier this year, shingles at the beginning of September, and dental surgery 10 days ago. As a result of the dental issues my jaw bone on the right side is considerably thinner and I have been told will fracture very easily if I'm not careful. So you will not catch me swinging any type of weapon or sparring, etc. for about 6 months. According to the dental surgeon the bone will rebuild itself, but this process can take up to 1 year. In the meantime I have been restricted to liquids for 2 weeks after which time I get to move onto soft foods. Yum! What I would really like right now is some crunchy potato chips! Oh Well! I am also waiting to see my doctor about an issue with my left leg which randomly likes to partially give out or completely lock on me. Oh what Fun!

It can be very easy to start to wallow in some self pity, but that is not going to get me anywhere I want to be. So what helps with all of this? I really think that it's keeping busy, being creative in order to continue some forward momentum and support from family, friends and the team. Even with everything going on I've done more push ups and sit ups in the past 3 weeks than I've done all summer and work has been very busy in a good way. The sit ups and push ups are meant to be a tool and when used correctly with the right mindset they do whatever job that needs to be done.

Namaste

Michele Ward

Toilet Troubles

Prior to purchasing our new home we had gotten a home inspection done. Everything was great with the exception of a few minor issues. The inspector had noted that all the toilets were a bit loose and should be tightened. Seemed simple enough at the time, but for whatever reason I never got around to getting the bolts tightened. And this is how the trouble started.

Unknown to me the toilet on the main floor continued to loosen over the summer as this is the bathroom that friends and family all use when visiting. I did however start to notice a very small amount of water on the floor in my furnace/laundry room. The leak appeared to coincide with larger amounts of rain and from what I could tell was coming from around the duct work at the top of the ceiling.

The small puddle started to get a bit bigger and so I called the guy that had done our home inspection. He was great and came out to take a look. Thank goodness for professionals! After a bit of investigative work it turns out the toilet in the main bathroom was the culprit. The toilet was so loose that I am surprised it was still attached. I knew the bolts needed to be tightened and yet had done nothing. Thankfully the fix for my toilet troubles was still a relatively minor one. However rather than tighten a few bolts, we now needed to take the toilet off, remove the old wax seal, put on a new wax seal and reattach everything.

I can relate the issues with my toilet to other areas of my life as well. Unfortunately this is not the first time I've had the opportunity for such a lesson and probably won't be the last as I do have a bad habit of procrastinating. The picture is becoming clearer though and I can see where other areas of my life are being affected by inaction. Not putting in the effort or time and addressing issues as they come up tends to create more stress and work similar to my "toilet troubles". Action or inaction is in my control, but needs to be a conscious choice.


Namaste,

Michele Ward

Embracing the Moment

"Embracing the Moment" keeps popping up this year and is something I have given a lot of thought to and have been making an effort towards improving.

I met a very interesting couple on my recent travels who have been fortunate to visit numerous places throughout the world. I was impressed by their positive attitude regarding how they go about their journeys. They talked about being open, friendly and most importantly, willing to embrace the moment rather than forming expectations and being judgemental. As a result their experiences are mostly positive and opportunities often present themselves that wouldn't have been there otherwise.

I know that quite often I get caught up in myself for various reasons or have expectations and preconceived ideas when going into many situations. By not embracing the moment I am limiting myself and loosing out on so much.

Embracing the Moment - Delving into the world around you through active, conscious awareness and participation while keeping a positive and non-judgemental frame of mind.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Do or Do Not!

Logan and I are visiting some family out on Vancouver island this week. We try to visit most summers for a variety of reasons. The biggest reason though is my cousin and his wife. Not just because they are family, but because of the quality of people that they are. Surrounding yourself with positive influences is a key component on the journey towards mastery. My cousin Brian is someone I respect and has also become a bit of a mentor for my son, Logan.

One of the phrases we have heard often this week is "do or do not". Especially when someone uses the word "try".  At first I questioned what was wrong with trying? I twirled this around in my mind and have come to the conclusion it is a bit of a different mindset. Do you go all in and do? Or do you not? When a person decides to "do", the mindset is different and more committed. And because of this the attitude and approach change, creating better results.

One of my fears is being in a canoe or kayak. and about 3 years back I gave kayaking a "try". I didn't have much success, but it was a big step for me at the time. I got into the kayak and pushed off the shore a bit and then promptly decided it wasn't for me. Fear took control. At the time I was proud of myself for at least getting in and trying. Although looking back I really can't say that I actually did any kayaking. I wonder now if I had more of a "do" attitude if the outcome would have been different.

My kung fu training has been similar to that attempt at kayaking except over a much longer period of time. There has definitely been some doing along the way and I recognize all that I have accomplished. Due to anxiety and fear though, there has primarily been a mindset of trying. And I think that over time that mindset has created a one foot in and one foot out mentality.

Now it's time to make a mental adjustment in how I think and approach my training as well as all other aspects of life. I want to approach opportunities, tasks, etc. from a positive and more definitive mindset of doing rather than trying. As I move forward I want to be able to have more control and engage rather than just being along for the ride.

Namaste,
Michele Ward

State of Mind

In addition to battling the clutter in my brain I have been struggling with varying degrees of exhaustion on a daily basis. I know that these low energy levels play a big part in my lack of motivation. Although, how much of this is just a state of mind? It's hard to know for certain. If I constantly tell myself that I am exhausted then it becomes a reality so I am careful to correct my negative self talk when I am aware of this happening. I have also been working on improving my diet which will hopefully increase my energy somewhat.

My brain often over thinks and is full of information and details, but I am learning to know when to listen and how to quite it when necessary. The idea is to learn how to train my mind to work for me in a positive way rather than create problems. 

Sifu Brinker said something to me recently about having fun with my training and I think this has really helped. Just the idea of approaching Kung Fu with the mindset of fun seems to take a bit of the pressure off. The effort and hard work still needs to be present, but for whatever reason when I think "fun" it is easier to have some control over where my mind takes me. 

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Declutter & Follow Through

I signed up at the beginning of the year to be a member of the dog team knowing what to expect as this is not my first year on the team. Although there is no actual dotted line to sign on there was still an agreement and commitment made. I know that I have not followed through completely with that commitment though. When I look back and revisit the commitment I made at the beginning of the year I don't feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Mostly I'm following alongside the wagon. I know what needs to be done to get back on, but I just can't quite seem to get enough steam going. When I initially fell off the wagon there were some good reasons and as those reasons were resolved it was hard to get back on. Part of the problem is I was  having success with completing my personal goals even though the team requirements were getting somewhat dusty. That success created an attitude of complacency.

So I question what is going on and where my motivation has gone? I'm not exactly sure, but I think the clutter in my mind regarding my Kung Fu training has spilled over and somewhat affected other areas. It's definitely time to declutter and sort some things out and for that I am going to need some assistance. Right now it's not about whether or not I want to get back on the wagon, but rather following through with the commitment I made to myself and the team.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

New Diet Action Plan

If I plan to continue training in Kung Fu then some changes need to be made. Progressing wisely is a key component of that training and right now that means I need to take control over my diet. For the past couple of weeks I have greatly reduced my carb intake. My primary goal at first was to eliminate all processed sugars and because carbs convert to sugar I settled on a low carb eating plan. My consumption of sweets had been getting out of control lately and as each year goes by I am more aware of what I'm putting into my body and the consequences of my eating habits. Some issues can partially be tied to the aging process, but more and more I believe that what I put into my body is directly related to my lack of energy, inflammation, weight gain and mental state. Long gone are the days when I can eat whatever I want without consequences.

I've allowed myself a cheat or two at the end of every week, but other than that everything is going pretty good. Eating a low carb diet means reading labels on food packing, meal planning and making conscious choices about what I consume. I never realized that carbs are in almost everything we typically consume on a standard North American diet. The high carb count in certain food items has been quite an eye opener. Initially it takes much more effort, but as I go along I'm finding that I enjoy the fact that I am more aware of what I am putting into my body and that I am consciously making better choices.

I tend to jump into things without thoroughly researching and planning first. Which is exactly what I did two weeks ago when I started. So, I'm at the stage now where although I'm feeling good about what I've accomplished so far, I am wanting to continue with a more structured and informed plan so that I get the most benefit out of this new eating regime.   

Canada Day Demos

Canada Day was an opportunity to spend some quality time with the team and take part in the demos. I had planned to attend so that I could be there with the team, but I had decided that I was not going to be performing myself. The reason for my decision had been mostly due to mental barriers. Even so I still brought my weapon with me on the chance that I would be able to convince myself to go for it. It feels good to take control and overcome those barriers. After doing one performance there was no good reason to not continue and take part in the others. It was a wonderful day of challenges, building relationships, being outdoors and taking part in the community.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

100 Day Gong

This week my blog is about one of my current personal goals that I have been working on. My goal is to successfully complete a 100 day gong this year. Check out the links below if you are not sure what this is or want more information. The idea is to commit to a particular practice daily for 100 days. If you happen to miss a day then it's back to day one and you start over until 100 days has been successfully completed.

For my first 100 day gong I am doing wall squats. I am almost half way through, at 42 days checked off. I didn't actually think I would get this far along with out having to start over on my first try, so I am quite happy with the results. I first started with 5 each day (bad knees) and then have been adding 1 each week. I am now up to 10 each day and will try to reach 15 as long as my knees don't become aa issue.

 It is a wonderful way of not only building focus and determination, but also to ensure that you train regularly. It is a dedicated act of selflove that snaps you out of your daily trance and brings the light of awareness to your consciousness. The more we practice, the more we wake up and the better off we are. Pedram Shojai, OMD

https://theurbanmonk.com/gongs-intention-discipline-leading-to-life-mastery/
http://live.well.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Urban-Monk-Academy-Workbook-Print.pdf

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Overload

I was reminded recently that maybe where I am right now is right where I'm mean't to be. Even though I know this to be true, I needed the reminder. My brain has been stuck on overload and is creating a bit of chaos and when this happens I tend to pull away. I have also started to give some serious thought regarding whether or not to continue with my Kung fu training. There is so much that needs to be worked on and fixed that I am not sure where to even start. There is that little voice inside my head that tells me how terrible I am at Kung fu so why torture myself and my instructors. Then of course there is the other voice that tells me I just need to put in more effort and work harder. The question is: where do I start?

Some of the personal goals that I set for the year have helped to keep me moving forward. I have been able to check off some of my own boxes and that feels good. I have taken a good look at where I am and I know that there are some adjustments that can be made.  I have come up with a few ideas to help create a bit more time to work on my training. Also one of my personal goals this year is to dance for 10 minutes a day with or without music for a minimum of 30 days. This is a goal that needs to be worked on sooner than later as it will help me to quiet my mind and teach my body to move more freely and naturally. I also intend to make some changes to my diet for better health and energy.

I'm ok with where I am at, as long as I take the time to recognize and understand why I am here and what needs to be done to move forward.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Being Present, Mindfullness & intent. Yikes!!

A very dear friend of mine was given the opportunity to speak at our high school reunion many years ago. Her topic was about being fully present in each and every moment as we live our lives. As she described what that would look and feel like and how it has made a positive impact in her own life, everyone sat up a little bit taller and the room became quieter. You could see and feel the energy in the room change as the audience became fully present and engaged in her presentation. Everyone that choose to attend the reunion that year got much more than they expected and we all walked away with a life lesson that had unlimited potential.

15 years have passed since that night and I am still working on being present in any given moment, but I am farther along in my practise of being present then I would be if I had not attended that night. Mindfulness and being present requires conscious thought, practise and time. Although, lately I find myself looking too much at the week ahead rather than what is right in front of me. Not just because I'm busy but also because I prefer some days of the week over others. Awareness is wonderful!  I have a lot more practising to do.

As usual there is way too much swirling around in this brain of mine. I have intent, mindfulness and being present all converging towards each other making it difficult to separate one from the other. I know they are closely related, but they still need to be their own entities.

First we need to be present, then we need to operate with intent while being mindful. Being present and mindful allows us to make adjustments to our intent along the way. These are all tools to be added to our tool chests. My brain is telling me that intent could be broken done into a millisecond so I need to reign those thoughts in and start with some basic practise first.

Mediocrity, maintenance and mastery: If I am to be honest with myself and everyone else, I would put myself in between mediocrity and maintenance with a dash of mastery sprinkled in here and there. I believe that mastery can be as simple or as complicated as we make it. Unfortunately our North American style of life creates a much more difficult path towards mastery.

Saturday's meeting may have been short, but it was filled with quality content. That content was perfect for me because it reinforced much of what is needed in my life right now. For those that were missing I highly recommend listening to the recorded version.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Stuck!

Journaling has taught me to take the time to reflect, it has improved my awareness and helped with perspective. This is because I make a conscious effort to take the time to examine thoughts and feelings and work problems out if need be.

I have missed posting a blog the past couple of weeks not because I have nothing to say, but rather I can't seem to get my thoughts sorted out. I feel like I'm either fumbling around in a maze right now or stuck in front of a wall that I don't know how to get around or over. I start to think and feel and then wham! My mind just stops and I'm stuck! Stuck, because I have a big, big problem. And in the past I probably would have just stomped it down and walked away. I'm not walking away this time, but I haven't quite figured out how to solve the problem.

This is extremely hard for me and is ridiculously silly, but it is what it is. It is like peeling back the layers of an onion. There are concepts in kung fu that I am struggling with this year. I'm struggling because these concepts are almost polar opposites to how I have lived my life for the past 50 + years. I understand the concepts very well, but they are anything but natural for me. How do I change how I move, react, think and feel? The thing is, I actually understand which makes it even more difficult. and I know my kung fu will improve and my life as well.

The most difficult part of all this has been the realization I need to peel back a huge piece of my onion and rework everything from the core outward to implement any changes. Just thinking about this tears me apart. How does a person change 50 years of being and living?

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Excuses are not Your Friend!

  Moving is a much bigger task than I had anticipated. Having to move twice in 3 weeks time as well as needing to find a new place to call home during that 3 week time frame has been all consuming. There is this ripple effect that happens as you start to pack up, move, then move again, and then unpack. I was fortunate though to have some great help from friends and family. Logan and his friends were amazing. I would highly recommend this group of teenage boys. They came with oodles of energy, enthusiasm and muscle.

Initially I had a good reasons for not getting many of my requirements completed, but if a person is not careful, at some point those reasons can change into excuses. And I have realized that excuses are not my friend. An excuse is not supportive or productive and an excuse does not lead you down the right path. An excuse enables mediocrity.

This past week I have been working at getting back on track with all my requirements. I finally feel like I'm settling back into a somewhat normal routine after my move. I'm still feeling the ripples, but they are getting smaller and smaller. My numbers are still not where they need to be, but I am taking steps in the right direction and getting more done than I had in previous weeks. I am focusing on what I can add into my day to create forward momentum and success. Everything that I get done is one more step forward.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Sometimes Details are not Enough!

I'm going to try and make this a quick as I was literally about to go to bed and realized I hadn't done my blog yet. Control, structure, analyzing, overthinking and details are a huge part of how I go about most of  my life, for better or worse. Right now though the details are slowing me done and keeping me from moving forward in my Kung fu training. I am struggling with the thought of letting go of the details and trusting my muscle memory to get me through my forms and various techniques. Just the thought of letting go is creating an internal battle that is quite upsetting. The details and specific steps help keep me grounded and on track. I'm not sure if this makes any sense to anyone else. My thoughts are all over the place. I have lived the majority of my life staying within and following the lines. Straight or curvy, up or down, I like to know where the lines are, and where they are going. The difficultly for me is how to do everything correctly while not focusing on the details. I did work on some forms this weekend and tried to focus on speed rather than detail which seemed to work ok.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Focus on Success

I am not good with making decisions at the best of times and with my life being topsy turvy right now, decisions are even more difficult than usual. So..., I need to focus on the successes that have occurred the past couple of weeks.

I have found a great home for Logan and I to move into. My offer to purchase has been accepted and the financing has been approved. Yay!! Our temporary stay at my daughter's house is going very well and has given me the opportunity to help her out during her pregnancy. Our move in date for our new home is May 4th.

 I also had to make a decision regarding some unexpected dental work this past week. The choice was to either have a tooth pulled or do a root canal. The root canal comes with a huge bill due to no dental coverage and some potential serious risks. I choose to have the tooth pulled which I had done on Saturday. Let me just say that if I ever have to have a tooth pulled again it will only be done if I am completely sedated. Did I mention I don't like dentists? Not fun!!!

Right now I am feeling so far behind with all my requirements. If I was a give up type of person I would be throwing in the towel. I guess it's a good thing that I don't give up easily. I came so very close tonight to not doing my blog just because of how tired I was feeling and my lack of ideas on what to blog about. If I don't blog then what do I have left? Blogging is the only thing that I have consistently done every week and that is at least a success I need right now even if I'm sucking at almost everything else.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Nice vs Kind

Definition of kindness - the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate, helpful, and thinking about other people's feelings

Nice by definition is someone who is pleasant, friendly, polite, someone who does the right thing.

I grew up during a time when respect and manners were taught by the majority of parents. Things like please and thank you, saying excuse me, holding open a door, addressing adults by Mr. or Mrs. etc. was valued and expected. As a child growing up I was extremely shy and doing the right thing was foremost in my mind. I was always trying to do what was expected, to not step outside the lines and not call attention to myself. I believed myself to be a nice person. I then took those lessens and taught my children to say please and thank you, to say excuse me, etc. while they were growing up. My oldest two children caught on very quickly and were always praised for being well behaved and polite. The well behaved part didn't always translate to home, but they were polite no matter where they were. My 3rd and youngest child didn't seem to get the aspect of politeness and I struggled getting him to accept and comply with simple things like please and thank you. Despite this my youngest child has been the most agreeable and well behaved and I believe he is a kind person. And I know that when he is being kind it comes from a genuine place and less likely to be performed because of expectations, appearance or the possibility of a reward. So, just how important are words like please and thank you? Does being nice and doing what is expected equate to kindness? Probably not. Being nice is definitely better than some of the alternatives, but how much conscious thought and effort does niceness require? Is niceness simply a step above mediocre? Kindness requires awareness, and conscious thought and action. Kindness is not sitting back on the side lines. Kindness is compassionate, empathetic and understanding. Kindness does not have an ulterior motive. Kindness takes care of yourself, others and the environment. Kindness is not mediocre!

I have been having a hard time getting enough acts of kindness completed each week. I've struggled with what to record as an act of kindness. I consider myself a nice person, but I have realized there is a difference between being nice versus kind. Things like please, thank you and holding open a door are automatic for me. Not a lot of thought needs to happen. So I don't feel these are worthy of recording. And if I am at home most of the day there is very little opportunity to perform acts of kindness. I'm not sure if anyone else is having a hard time with this as well. I have even struggled with why we should be recording our acts of kindness, but I very quickly realize that this becomes a tool towards gaining awareness and becoming conscious of opportunities to show kindness to others and ourselves. 

If anyone else is having some trouble with acts of kindness, check out this website:

http://www.becomingwhoyouare.net/the-true-meaning-of-kindness/

Namaste,

Michele Ward 

  

Moving On!

This past weekend was mostly spent moving. Most of the past 25 years of my life is now packed up in boxes and is currently in storage. Logan and I will be staying with my daughter and her husband for the next month until we find somewhere new to live. I'm not sure how I feel right now about this transition we are currently going through. I'm excited to start fresh and it will be a relief to not have all the work associated with acreage living, but it is also difficult to move after living in one place for 25 years. Logan and I have just what is needed for the next month or so. I think about everything else that is stored and what exactly I would actually miss if it all just went away. I don't feel attached to most of what is packed up and yet it feels strange to have a quarter century of stuff that partially represents all those years. I know that the experiences, memories and relationships that have been created throughout all those years are much more important and lasting than the accumulation of stuff. 

I have purged 231 items from my collection of stuff. I am 3 weeks into the Minimalism Game and am now purging 20+ items each day. I will have to finish the game after I move into our new place at which point as I'm unpacking I will probably be able to purge some more and finish the 30 days.      

Step Back & Assess the Situation

Due to my upcoming moving day and all that entails a new goal has been created. Priorities have needed to be adjusted and that means my path has taken a detour. Dealing with lower back pain, persistent headaches and moving day has provided a combination of reasons and excuses for not getting much done with regards to team requirements. Do I give myself a break or do I beat myself up? Right now I'm somewhere in between. I know that I missed some opportunities to work on my numbers and I generally work better under pressure, but my weakness is my own body and health.

Packing for the big move day started off great. Everything was on track and going smoothly. I had two wonderful friends both extend offers of help this weekend. When I initially read their text messages I was grateful, but I also had this moment of panic and avoidance. My tendency is to tunnel in and hide from the world when I feel overwhelmed unless the situation involves my kids. I have gotten better the past few years at stepping back, assessing the situation and making adjustments.

Help seems simple enough, but it requires knowing when to ask, how to ask and then there are more decisions to make. Things like: What day works? What time do you want us to come? What do you need help with? Too many decisions for my current slow motion squirrel brain to handle. After the initial moment of panic passed, I did what needed to be done. One step at a time. Sometimes dealing with one person or situation leads to a resolution for the next. I feel good about what was accomplished on Saturday and I wouldn't have been able to get it all done myself. Today I have another friend coming and more to get done. Thank you for friends and thank you for all the help!

Remember, when life becomes chaotic and your well laid plans are no longer working - just breathe! Step back and reground yourself. I take a few moments to tell myself "I can do this". I assess the situation, prioritize and make adjustments or I just pick one thing to work on and the rest sorts itself out because I am more focused and in a better frame of mind to get stuff done.

*I've been playing the minimalist game and have currently reduced the contents of my house by 105 items and still going strong!

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Three Cups of Tea

I recently finished the book Three Cups of Tea written by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin. The timing is perfect because it ties into one of the charities that Silent River Kung Fu and the Benevolent Foundation supports each year. The charity I am talking about is Malawi Girls on the Move. 

The Benevolent Foundation and the charities we support are a big focus at this time of year as we prepare for Pandemonium. When talking about each of the charities, I have found that some people are resistant to supporting charities that are outside of their own country or even their community. An even smaller percentage of people questioned why support a charity that builds schools for just girls rather than girls and boys. These are good questions and they offer an opportunity for conversation and that conversation can help to create awareness.

Every person, every plant and animal that exists on our planet is connected to each other. As I am writing this I started to think about how the Earth is round, one big enormous circle and how that ties into our practice of Kung Fu. We are taught in Kung Fu to see and feel the circular motions of our techniques and understand/feel the six harmonies. When throwing a punch for instance there is more than just a fist involved. Other areas of the body are affected and move in conjunction with the punch. Even if we don't make contact with the punch there is still a ripple effect happening. 

I understand the desire to focus on what we can see and hear within our own communities, because it is easier and less overwhelming then looking at the world as our community. It is important to understand though that even halfway around the world we are still connected. The ripples may take a bit longer to reach us, but there is no doubt that we will be affected either positively or negatively. Education provides hope, empowerment and opportunities that wouldn't exist otherwise creating a positive ripple around the world for all to benefit from. 

Three cups of Tea is a true story about how one person can make a difference. Greg Mortenson had a vision that started with building a school for girls in a small mountain village in Pakistan. After ten years with the help of numerous people 55 schools were built. By 2009, 81 schools had been built in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

"When I look into the eyes of the children in Pakistan and Afghanistan, I see the eyes of my own children full of wonder---and hope that we each do our part to leave them a legacy of peace instead of the perpetual cycle of violence, war, terrorism, racism, exploitation, and bigotry that we have yet to conquer " ( Mortenson 335).

http://www.malawigirlsonthemove.com/

Namaste, 

Michele Ward

30-Day Minimalism Game

Who is up for a challenge?

One of my personal goals this year is to play the 30-Day Minimalism Game and I think it would be great to have as many team members as possible playing the game along with me. Sunday, March 18th will be my official start date. I think the timing is perfect as we head into spring. Also I've just recently sold my house and have until April 13th to move and I am definitely not taking everything with me.

Check out the link below for details on how to play the game. The game starts off easy enough, but I expect the challenge will come at about the halfway point. I will be blogging each week about my progress so watch for updates.

Minimalism is about choosing to make conscious and deliberate decisions as we move through life. By having less stuff, minimalism allows us to make room for more important things in life like: experiences, learning, community, contribution, family & friends, etc. I am at a point in my life where stuff doesn't have the same importance it used to have. I am ready to consciously make room for more joy, passion and contentment in my life.

https://www.theminimalists.com/game/


Namaste,

Michele Ward

Forms

My time was well spent at the kwoon on Saturday. I was able to get to the end of my cane form video and I also finished learning 18 Temple Motions which is the hand form I have chosen this year. Getting to the end of both forms is a good feeling. Now I need to work on remembering all the steps in the correct order and then fine tuning each of them. Lots of work to still be done before the end of March, but I feel that I am on track and headed in the right direction. My biggest issue at this point in the year is a troublesome lower back. As my back starts to improve, I carefully do more hoping that everything holds up and then my back flares up and I start over again. It is a tricky and delicate situation that I am trying to work around.

Namaste,

Michele Ward

Cane Part 2

Last year my weapon of choice was the cane. I remember doing some research at the time on the history of the cane which I found quite interesting. Learning the striking and poking sets from Sifu Hayes really helped me to better understand how to work with the cane and become more comfortable with the weapon. Shortly after learning the striking and poking sets, I started to create my own form. I love the creativity and personal touch that's goes into building my own form.

Everything was going great. I had a completed cane form that I was happy with. I was ready to take my form, add in some wow factors and expand the length. Mission accomplished! Unfortunately I fell off the wagon part way through the year for various reasons and my cane form as well as most of the other requirements became dusty.

Fast forward to November and there we were getting ready for the banquet. If I was going to be able to take part in the demo during our banquet I needed to not only dust off my cane but mostly battle my anxiety so that I could get out on the mats and practice in front of the team. The first and second time I did this was the hardest. Each time after got a tiny bit easier. Putting myself out there and doing all the extra practice outside of class brought back the initial excitement I had at the beginning of the year when I first started working with my cane. I had some great "aha" moments working with Sifu Hayes those last couple of months as I tried to fine tune my cane form and prepare for the banquet. The "aha" moments weren't just about the cane itself,  I could also see how what I was learning and doing related to other areas of my Kung Fu as well.

I know that I have barely scratched the surface with my cane and because of that I feel the need to continue on with it. So for part 2 I am learning a Tai Chi cane form from a video. I had chosen a form and video and started the learning process. I have since changed my mind because I found a form that I feel is a better fit for me. The form is not excessively long and it has wonderful flow and beauty. I had looked at this particular form a few times and thought that it was maybe more than I could take on. Learning from a video can be very challenging and it also has some deeper stances I'm not sure I can execute due to knee issues.

One of the many things that Kung Fu has taught me is to not say, 'I can't". When I find myself thinking "I don't think I can do this",  I switch my thinking to "how can I do this?"  I don't want to limit myself and miss out on what could be. For me the key is start from the beginning, break it down and ask for help when needed. Thank you to Sifu Beckett for all your help on Saturday!

Namaste, Michele Ward 
   

New Beginnings!

Last Thursday nights class was great! There we were, a brand new team starting out on a new and exciting journey together. The combination of activity, excitement and a bit of nerves help to create this amazing environment to be in and train in.

A new beginning is always exciting for me and just a little bit scary and overwhelming. The scary part is all the unknowns and not having enough confidence in myself. I have to remind myself that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses and those individual qualities are what is going to make this year a fantastic year, as we grow together and as individuals.

There is this part of me that would love to keep everything the same and yet that is almost impossible to do and would also get somewhat boring with fewer benefits as well. Momentum builds through the changes that come with our combined growth and experience and the individual qualities that each of us brings to the team. Each year builds on the previous year and then we usually add in some new blood and voila we have a recipe for the best team ever!

Blogging is an extremely important component on our path to success. It helps to share our experiences and knowledge so that we can all learn and grow and strengthens us as individuals and as a team. I think that success and mastery is more than just doing, it also requires reflection, adjustment and sharing what you have learned or what you are struggling with.   

 I am excited for the year ahead and whatever it brings!

Namaste, Michele Ward

Chinese New Year

Our Chinese New Years Banquet is a celebration of everything that has been accomplished throughout the year and it also signals the beginning of a brand new year. No matter where our journey has taken us this is a time where we all meet and come together as fellow students, friends, family and community.

We plan, organize and practice, practice, practice until finally the big day has arrived. After all those months of practice and preparation it is amazing though how quickly the banquet is over and done. I am grateful for the opportunity to work along side of everyone that comes out to help set up during the day and I enjoy the set up almost as much as the event itself.

Congratulations to Sifu Melanie Beckett and to Sifu Rybak as well as all the students that received awards this year. I am proud to be a member of Silent River Kung Fu and look forward to seeing where my journey will take me during the Year of the Dog!

Happy New Year!

Michele Ward

Follow Through & Communication

During last Saturday's meeting, Sifu Brinker provided us with some gifts and one of the greatest gifts I received was a better understanding of what it means to be part of a team.

Horse team, rooster team, dog team, etc. The commonality in each, is the word "team" and yet it has taken me two years with help to understand what that actually means. My first year on the team I was simply scared spitless and this second year has been about balancing two jobs, team requirements plus travel and the usual stuff life throws at us. And yet I really do not have a good reason as to why I have not been a better team mate. I used to work in management and so I have a very good understanding of what being part of a team involves. It makes sense that I should have been able to transfer this knowledge to the I Ho Chuan team. Unfortunately when I'm not comfortable and confident with what I am doing I tend to follow or hide rather than lead. This is still not a reason because some communication on my part would have gone a long way towards being a better team mate.

 

Yes, we have this amazing supportive and non-judgemental environment that provides a great team atmosphere. Yet how many of us actually understand and embrace the concept of what being part of a "team" means. We all have our own reasons and motivations for joining the team and we know upfront what the base requirements are. This is all set out in black and white. Our journeys are all very unique and sometimes because of this I think there can be a feeling of being somewhat separate from the team. I know for myself that even being away for one class, I start to feel a lack of connection which makes communication all the more important. The grey areas are how you fill in the spaces and mesh the individual and team components together creating a true team environment. I was so focused on my own journey that I forgot about some of the other aspects of being part of a team. 

At work if I am going to be away I will arrange for someone to cover for me. I make notes, I plan, I organize and I communicate. It is really quite simple. I would never just assume or hope that some one else was going to take care of what needs to get done. I know that our intentions are good, but follow through and communication are going to create a stronger team environment.

Even though we all have individual unique journey's, we are much stronger and more effective when working together as a "team". Look at what we accomplish when we all come together as we plan, practise and get ready for the Chinese New Years Banquet.

Namaste,

Michele Ward